NSYNC in Scream

I am sure all of you have been wondering what NSYNC would do if caught in the movie scream, well here is your chance to find out. I got this in an email.

Justin: Yello?

Scary Voice: Hello, Justin.

Justin: Um, who be dis?

Scary Voice: Well, you tell me.

Justin: I gots no ideas.

Scary Voice: Do you like scary movies?

Justin: Yeah g! I saw dat Backstreet Boys home video 20 times, yo!

Scary Voice: That's not what I'm talking about you fucking idiot! I mean HORROR movies! Like, "Halloween H20" or Friday the 13th,=94 or something like that!

Justin: Ohhh! Nah, homes, I don't watch much shit like dat. At least not without my mommy around ... hold up a minute, who da hell is dis? I've gotta fly honey comin' over in a second, so I can't be wastin' my flava on you!

Scary Voice: Her name wouldn't be.. Britney- would it?

Justin: HELLS NO! I wouldn't touch that skank if ya'll PAID me!

Scary Voice: Then who the hell do I have tied up on your patio?

Justin: WHAT?!

Justin: Yo- it's abouts time someone did that!

Scary Voice: We're going to play a little game, Justin. If you answer the question right, Britney lives. If you get it wrong, then I kill her and leave her body in your Benz.

Justin: My Benz! Oh my God, da blood would never come out of the upholstery! [Justin starts to cry.] Okay, okay! I'll play yo' game, g!

Scary Voice: First question ... name the other members of NSYNC in 10 seconds or less. Justin: [Pausing] Uhh, well ... um, there's JC, ... what's-his-face Chris!... uh, there's one named Lance, right? Okay, dats four ...

Scary Voice: Times up! Say bye-bye to Britney!

Scary Voice: Now, Justin. On to Round Two ... what color are you?

Justin: What?

Scary Voice: You heard me, what COLOR are you?!

Scary Voice: Are you BLACK or WHITE, Justin?

Justin: [finally, after a hesitation, he answers...] Yo, is dis a trick question?

Scary Voice: Wrong Answer, Justin!

Justin (dying): Joey! ...Dats..who da other..one...is!

Lance (hanging up the phone): Hey, you guys, I got some bad news. Somebody killed Justin last night.

Chris: WHAT?!

JC: Oh my God! Justin's dead?! Without Justin, we're ruined! Who else can even get 8-year-olds sexually aroused but him? Certainly not any of us.

Joey: Hey, when are we eating?

Chris: Is that all you can think about? My BEST FRIEND is dead! He was the only one who ever laughed at my jokes! I'm screwed!

Lance: Hey, on the plus side, somebody killed Britney too.

JC: Well, I guess every cloud does have its silver lining.

Lou: Boys, I'm sure you've heard the terrible news. I'm probably losing thousands of dollars as we speak. Anyway, to be on the safe side, I'm imposing a curfew on you. You must all be indoors by 9 o' clock.

Chris: What a fat piece of shit.

Joey (looking up from a bag of chips): Huh?

Chris: No, not you Joey. I was talking about Lou.

JC: So what are we going to do?

Lance: Well, if we have to be in by nine, why don't we invite all of our friends over so we won't be lonely?

JC: Yeah, but Lance, you don't have any friends.

Lance: Oh yeah. Okay, why don't we just all get wasted and make fun of Joey instead?

JC and Chris: Okay!

Chris: Hey, can somebody get me another beer?

Lance: Yeah, me too.

JC: Me three.

Joey: How come I'm always the one who has to get the beer?

JC: What else are you good for?

Lance: Hey Joey, I think there's a coke in the garage.

Joey: Coke?

Lance (nodding): Yeah, a Superman-shaped one. You can have it if you get us more beer.

Joey: SUPERMAN-SHAPED!! Oh my, God, I think I just had an orgasm!

JC: That was more than I needed to know.

Joey: Hey, I don't see any coke! But Lance wouldn't LIE to me! I've shared too much of myself with him to do that!

Joey: What the hell?

Joey: Well, this is...awkward.

JC (returning from the bathroom, YES, contrary to teenybopper belief, NSYNC DOES use the bathroom): Hey guys, what's taking Joey so long?

Chris: Who cares? He's gone. Lets enjoy the moment.

JC: Well, I'm going to check on him.

JC (panicking): You guys! Joey's dead! I saw his body hanging ... (trailing off) Uh, guys, why are you SMILING like that?

Lance: What's not to smile about? Justin's dead, Joey's dead, and soon you'll be dead. (Lance raises a bloody knife and slowly advances towards JC.) You like my knife? It's an antique. As BOP reported, I really do collect them. But you already knew that, didn't you, JC? That's because you know everything, don't you?

JC: Chris! Help me out here!

Chris: Help? HELP? Why? So you can steal more of my solos later? I don't think so.

JC: Why? Why would you do something like this?

Lance: Why? 'Cause I'm from MISSI-FUCKING-SSIPPI, THAT'S WHY! Or how about this? Lets see, how you would feel if people constantly told you that you couldn't dance, that you were really a girl, and that you were having sex with JOEY?! You would want to kill people too!

JC: You've got a point ... but Lance, all those things are true.

Lance: Shut the fuck up!

JC: Chris? What about you, what's YOUR motive, huh?

Chris: My motive? I'm a 27 year old virgin (not really, but whatever) with dreadlocks, and the only people who see me as a sexual being are under the age of fourteen. Plus, I'm the CRAZY one of the group! It comes with the territory!

JC: Fair enough.

Lance: But you haven't even seen the best part. (Lance snaps his fingers.) Chris! Bring the surprise!

JC: Oh my God! You've kidnapped Nick Carter!

Lance: Picture this: Nick relizes that he is not the number one sex symbol in America anymore because of a certain JUSTIN TIMBERLAKE. He snaps, and goes on a killing spree. He kills all the members of NSYNC, except, of course, me and Chris.

Chris: Being the stupid fuck that he is, he forgets that we're in the group ... actually, most people tend to forget that.

Lance: Then, the reality of what he's done hits him, and he kills himself. It's perfect!

JC: Yeah, except ... hey, what's Topanga doing here?

Lance: Wow, he finally did something funny.

JC: I'll say.

Nick: Oh, JC! Your my hero!

JC: Dude, get the fuck off me. (JC brushes himself off.) Hey, now I can finally have a solo career! What a great ending! I'm freeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

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