VARIETY IN SENTENCE STRUCTURE

DEFINITION OF A SENTENCE

Before defining the parts of a sentence, it might be wise to define a sentence itself. A sentence is a group of words containing a subject and predicate (defined below). Sometimes, the subject is "understood," as in a command: "[You] go next door and get a cup of sugar." That probably means that the shortest possible complete sentence is something like "Go!" A sentence ought to express a thought that can stand by itself, but one should watch out for SENTENCE FRAGMENTS or incomplete sentences [more on this later]. The various Types of Sentences, structurally, will be defined, with examples, to show sentence variety. Sentences are also defined according to function: declarative (most of the sentences we use), interrogative (which ask a question — "What's your name?"), exclamatory ("There's a fire in the kitchen!"), and imperative ("Don't you dare listen to MOE'S midi 'Sweet Caroline' instead of studying!")


NOTES ON SENTENCE VARIETY

In Shakespeare's Henry IV, Part 1 (IIiv), we see that great "stuffed cloak-bag of guts," Falstaff, in debate with his good friend Prince Hal, the future King of England. After a night of debauchery together, he is imploring his young friend not to forget him when Hal becomes King. The banter goes on, but the best part of it is Falstaff's last few sentences on the matter (talking about himself here — his favorite subject):

But to say I know more harm in him than in myself, were to say more than I know. That he is old, the more the pity, his white hairs do witness it; but that he is, saving your reverence, a whoremaster, that I utterly deny. If sack and sugar be a fault, God help the wicked! if to be old and merry be a sin, then many an old host that I know is damned: if to be fat be to be hated, then Pharaoh's lean kine are to be loved. No, my good lord; banish Peto, banish Bardolph, banish Poins: but for sweet Jack Falstaff, kind Jack Falstaff, true Jack Falstaff, valiant Jack Falstaff, and therefore more valiant, being, as he is, old Jack Falstaff, banish not him thy Harry's company, banish not him thy Harry's company: banish plump Jack, and banish all the world.

The speech is quite a ramble, filled with Falstaff's lively good spirits. How can the Prince follow this? He does, with two little sentences:

I do. I will.

And there you have it. The prince knows he must someday, soon, renounce his life with Falstaff and turn to the responsibilities of ruling England. All the kinetic energy of Falstaff, manifested in the turns of phrase and rhythm in this speech, has been dammed up, thwarted and turned back by those two little sentences, four little words.

That's what variety of sentence length can do. Great expansiveness followed up by the bullwhip crack of a one-liner. It's not that one kind of sentence is better than the other (although the taste of the twentieth-century readers favors the terse, the economical). It's just that there are two different kinds of energies here, both potent. Use them both, and your prose will be energized.

The trouble is that many writers, unsure of themselves, are leery of long sentences because they fear the run-on, that troll under the bridge, forgetting that it is often better to risk imperfection than boredom. What we need, then, is practice in handling long sentences. It's easy to feel confident in writing shorter sentences, but if our prose is made up entirely of shorter structures, it begins to feel like "See Dick run. See Jane jump. See Jane jump on Puff." Primer style, it's called, and it would drive a reader crazy after a while.


RUN-ONS AND LENGTH

Remember that a really long sentence and a run-on sentence are not the same thing. Joseph Williams's fine book, Style: Toward Clarity and Grace (Univ. of Chicago: 1990), enlists this monster of a sentence from Thomas Hooker, father of American democracy and founder of Hartford, Connecticut:

Now if nature should intermit her course and leave altogether, though it were but for awhile, the observation of her own laws; if those principal and mother elements of the world, whereof all things in this lower world are made, should lose the qalities which now they have; if the frame of that heavenly arch erected over our heads should loosen and dissolve itself; if celestial spheres should forget their wonted motions, and by irregular volubility turn themselves any way as it might happen; if the prince of the lights of heaven which now as a giant doth run his unwearied course, should, as it were through a languishing faintness, begin to stand and to rest himself; if the moon should wander from her beaten way, the times and seasons of the year blend themselves by disordered and confused mixture, the winds breathe out their last gasp, the clouds yield no rain, the earth be defeated of heavenly influence, the fruits of the earth pine away as children at the withered breasts of their mother no longer able to yield them relief — what would become of man himself, whom these things now do all serve?
—from "Of the Laws of Ecclesiastical Polity"

The modern reader might rebel at the complexity of those clauses piled one upon the other, and it does seem rather ponderous at first. In fact, if you were to write such a sentence in academic prose, your instructor would probably call you in for a conference. But if, as reader, you let yourself go a bit, there's a well earned delight in finding yourself at the end of such a sentence, having successfully navigated its shoals. And, as writer (avoiding such extremes), there's much to be learned by devising such monsters and then cutting them back to reasonable size.

Here are some tips about using long sentences to your advantage. The ideas here are based loosely on those in Williams' book, which is highly recommended, but with some other examples.


COORDINATION Allow the complexity of a longer sentence to develop after the verb, not before it. that Make the connection between subject and verb quick and vigorous and then allow the sentence to do some extra work, to cut a fancy figure or two. In the completer (predicate), however, be careful to develop the complex structures in parallel form. Read The Gettysburg Address and closely examine the uses of parallelism in that classic speech.


REPEATED TERMS

As I have mentioned, one of the scariest techniques for handling long sentences is the repetition of a key term. It feels risky because it goes against the grain of what you've been taught about repetition. When properly handled, though, repetition of key words and phrases within a sentence and then within a paragraph not only holds things together but creates a rhythm that provides energy and drives the meaning home. The Swiss watchmakers' failure to capitalize on the invention of the digital timepiece was both astonishing and alarming — astonishing in that the Swiss had, since the beginnings of the industrial revolution in Europe, been among the first to capitalize on technical innovations, alarming in that a tremendous industrial potential had been lost to their chief competitors, the watchmakers of Japan. In the following sentence, from a speech by John F. Kennedy (dedicating the Robert Frost Library at Amherst College), observe how the repeated, parallel phrases pile up meaning in rhythmical waves:

"In America, our heroes have customarily run to men of large accomplishments. But today this college and country honors a man whose contribution was not to our size but to our spirit, not to our political beliefs but to our insight, not to our self-esteem, but to our self-comprehension. . . .  
     I look forward to a great future for America, a future in which our country will match its military strength with our moral restraint, its wealth with our wisdom, its power with our purpose. I look forward to an America which will not be afraid of grace and beauty, which will protect the beauty of our natural environment, which will preserve the great old American houses and squares and parks of our national past, and which will build handsome and balanced cities for our future."
Amherst, Massachusetts - October 26, 1963

The same principle can apply to repeated whole sentences in a paragraph. Watch how President Kennedy drives home his point in the famous "Ich bin ein Berliner" speech:

There are many people in the world who really don't understand, or say they don't, what is the great issue between the free world and the Communist world. Let them come to Berlin. There are some who say that communism is the wave of the future. Let them come to Berlin. And there are some who say in Europe and elsewhere we can work with the Communists. Let them come to Berlin. And there are even a few who say that it is true that communism is an evil system, but it permits us to make economic progress. Lass' sie nach Berlin kommen. Let them come to Berlin.
Remarks in the Rudolph Wilde Platz, West Berlin: June 26, 1963

The following is a sometimes humorous, sometimes strident bit of lecturing from American humorist George Carlin. Note the use of parallel forms:

"The Paradox of our Time" — George Carlin

"The paradox of our time in history is that we have taller buildings, but shorter tempers; wider freeways, but narrower viewpoints. We spend more, but have less; we buy more, but enjoy it less.

We have bigger houses and smaller families; more conveniences, but less time; we have more degrees, but less sense; more knowledge, but less judgement; more experts, but more problems; more medicine, but less wellness. We drink too much, smoke too much, spend too recklessly, laugh too little, drive too fast, get too angry too quickly, stay up too late, get up too tired, read too seldom, watch TV too much, and pray too seldom. We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values. We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate too often. We've learned how to make a living, but not a life; we've added years to life, not life to years. We've been all the way to the moon and back, but have trouble crossing the street to meet the new neighbour. We've conquered outer space, but not inner space. We've done larger things, but not better things. We've cleaned up the air, but polluted the soul. We've split the atom, but not our prejudice. We write more, but learn less. We plan more, but accomplish less. We've learned to rush, but not to wait.

We build more computers to hold more information to produce more copies than ever, but have less communication. These are the times of fast foods and slow digestion; tall men, and short character; steep profits, and shallow relationships.

These are the times of world peace, but domestic warfare; more leisure, but less fun; more kinds of food, but less nutrition. These are days of two incomes, but more divorce; of fancier houses, but broken homes.

These are days of quick trips, disposable diapers, throw-away morality, one-night stands, overweight bodies, and pills that do everything from cheer to quiet, to kill. It is a time when there is much in the show window and nothing in the stockroom; a time when technology can bring this letter to you, and a time when you can choose either to share this insight, or to just hit delete."


RENAMING AND AMPLIFYING THE SUBJECT


Consider the following sentence, the way information is appended and feels tacked on. Hartford continues to lose its industrial base, which means that more and more of its income base depends on companies whose primary business is paper shuffling. Instead of using that clumsy "which clause," let's rename the event and follow it with a dependent clause that amplifies the added noun. Hartford continues to lose its industrial base, an economic catastrophe in the making [that is] characterized by an income base primarily dependent on companies engaged in paper shuffling.


A CHAIN OF MODIFYING PHRASES


Try ending a sentence with a set of prepositional phrases or phrases, each beginning with a present or past participle. This is a device that works well if used infrequently; used too often, it can lead to what some writers call purple prose as one modifying phrase piles up against the one before it. Used sparingly, however, it can create a wonderful music.

"I see it now — the wide sweep of the bay, the glittering sands, the wealth of green infinite and varied, the sea blue like the sea of a dream, the crowd of attentive faces, the blaze of vivid colour — the water reflecting it all, the curve of the shore, the jetty, the high-sterned outlandish craft floating still, and the three boats with the tired men from the West sleeping, unconscious of the land and the people and of the violence of sunshine.  

       And we all nodded at him: the man of finance, the man of accounts, the man of law, we all nodded at him over the polished table that like a still sheet of brown water reflected our faces, lined, wrinkled; our faces marked by toil, by deceptions, by success, by love; our weary eyes looking still, looking always, looking anxiously for something out of life, that while it is expected is already gone — has passed unseen, in a sigh, in a flash — together with the youth, with the strength, with the romance of illusions."
Joseph Conrad, "Youth: A Narrative" (1902)


RESUMPTIVE AND SUMMATIVE MODIFIERS


By adding modifying phrases to the end of a sentence, a writer can take the reader in new, sometimes unexpected directions. A resumptive modifier picks up a word or phrase from a sentence that seems to be finished and then adds information and takes the reader into new territory of thought. Because resumptive modifiers are, by nature, repetitive, they tend also to add a sense of rhythm to a sentence. The following sentence (borrowed from above) employs this strategy twice:

"The Swiss watchmakers' failure to capitalize on the invention of the digital timepiece was both astonishing and alarming — astonishing in that the Swiss had, since the beginnings of the industrial revolution in Europe, been among the first to capitalize on technical innovations, alarming in that a tremendous industrial potential had been lost to their chief competitors, the watchmakers of Japan. A summative modifier quickly re-names or sums up what was going on in an earlier part of the sentence and then adds new information: The defensive coaches taught risk-taking, ball-hawking, and perpetual movement — three strategies that bewildered the opposition and resulted in many bad passes, steals, and easy fastbreak baskets."


VARIETY IN MODIFIER PLACEMENT

USING INITIAL MODIFIERS:

Dependent Clause: Although she wasn't tired, Maria went to sleep.

Infinitive Phrase: To please her mother, Maria went to sleep.

Adverb: Quickly and quietly, Maria went to sleep.

Participial Phrase: Hoping to feel better, Maria went to sleep.

USING MID-SENTENCE MODIFIERS:

Appositive: Maria, an obedient child, went to sleep.

Participial Phrase:

Maria, hoping to catch up on her rest, went to sleep.

USING TERMINAL MODIFIERS: Present Participial Phrase:

Maria went to sleep hoping to please her mother.

PAST PARTICIPIAL PHRASE/ADJECTIVAL PHRASE:

Maria went to sleep, lulled by music.

Maria went to sleep, awakening to scary dreams, relieved when it was morning.

COMBINING MODIFIERS:

Quickly and quietly, Maria, a young girl, went to sleep hoping to please her mom.


ADDITIONAL HINTS ON VARIETY

Try an occasional question, exclamation, or command. A question can be especially useful at the beginning of a paragraph where you want to summarize quickly what preceded and launch into what will now follow. "And what were the results of this Proclamation of 1763?" This reminds your readers — Ah, that's what we're talking about — and prepares them for what comes next.

A command or directive provides direction and energy. Readers react to being grabbed by the collar and told what to do. It's hard to ignore, if not to resist. Tone is terribly important here. A bit of well-intentioned cajoling is usually more useful than in-your-face shouting. "Learning the principle of parallel structure can be the most important thing you learn in writing class. Learn it now!"

Try beginning an occasional sentence with something other than the normal subject-followed-by-verb order of things. Begin with a modifying clause or participial phrase instead. "After Pontiac's insurrection led to the Proclamation of 1763, a brief period of peace ensued. Having led his people in a successful resistance, Pontiac was astonished to discover how Indian tribal differences and individualism began, instantly, to erode their base of unified power."

Try beginning a sentence with a coordinating conjunction (and, but, nor, for, yet, or, so). Many writers have had it pounded into their skulls that this recommendation goes against the grain, that if you begin a sentence with and or but you should have connected that sentence to the prior sentence. Well, perhaps you should have, but give it a try. A sentence beginning with a conjunction will almost always call attention to itself, and if that's what you want, do it. But not so often that it gets out of control and becomes obnoxious.

Try using a variety of basic sentence structures. We can categorize sentences into four main types, depending on the number and type of clauses they contain:

Simple (one independent clause): We drove from Connecticut to Tennessee in one day.

Compound (more than one independent clause): We were exhausted, but we arrived in time for my father's birthday party.

Complex (one independent clause and at least one dependent clause): Although he is now 79 years old, he still claims to be 65.

Compound-complex (more than one independent clause and at least one dependent clause): After it was all over, my dad claimed he knew we were planning something, but we think he was really surprised.

SENTENCE TYPES

In terms of style, you will also find that sentences are classified as periodic or cumulative sentences. Periodic sentences begin with modifying phrases and clauses, sometimes piling them on, and then end with an independent clause, period.

"If, instead of listening to the war-mongers of the military-industrial establishment, the politicians had only listened to what people had been writing in their letters and in the newspaper columns, if they had only listened to what the demonstrators had been shouting in the streets and on the campuses, if they had only listened to what was in their hearts, the war would have ended long ago."

Cumulative sentences, on the other hand, begin with the independent clause and then finish with a flurry of modifying constructions. See the sentences of President Kennedy above. Again, it is not so much that one kind of sentence is to be preferred over another but that a good craftsperson uses the right tool for the right job and doesn't use the same tool all the time.

It does no good to be overly conscious of these sentence types in the first draft of your essay, but as you review your essay, keep in mind that too many sentences of any one kind — especially too many simple sentences — will be tedious for your reader. On the other hand, as we have seen, there is nothing like a brief sentence to drive home a point after a lengthy, rambling sentence. Try spicing up your prose by combining sentences into different structures.


The most important thing you will derive from using a variety of sentence types is the shifts in tone that will result. Variety of sentence structure and type liberates your text from the monotone. Ezra Pound said that writing aspires to music, "which is the art of arts." Good academic prose is not poetry and it is not music, but there is surely no reason for it to remain on the dull plains of sameness.

Try using an occasional cleft sentence. The structure of a cleft sentence allows a writer to emphasize a part of a sentence in the same way that a speaker can emphasize part of a sentence using voice stress. We could say "Coach Claw [formerly Colonel Claw] came up with the program of recruiting players from foreign countries." and by stressing the word "Claw" we let the listener know that we're distinguishing this coach from all others (in this particular context). To create the same kind of stress in writing, we can "cleave" (split) the sentence into two parts:

"It was Coach Claw who came up with the program of recruiting players from foreign countries."

Or we could stress the idea of the PROGRAM in this way:

"It was the program of recruiting players from foreign countries that Coach Claw came up with."

The cleft sentence usually uses it as the main subject with a to be verb; the real information in the sentence, oddly enough, follows in the predicate and then in a dependent clause beginning with a dependent word (usually who, which, or that).

Another form of the cleft sentence can be created with what (instead of it).

"What you did in your youth is your own business." The what form of the cleft sentence will frequently take the main verb (and business) of the sentence and put it into an initial noun clause:

"A massive typhoon off the east coast delayed the invasion."
"What delayed the invasion was a massive typhoon off the east coast."

Cleft sentences are useful for putting stress in a sentence exactly where you want it, but they should be used sparingly, reserved for special occasions — like birthdays, wedding anniversaries, and the annual return of the buzzards to Waterloo, Ontario.


Energize your writing style, then, with some of the methods described above. Your reader will be less likely to doze off if you provide variety in your sentences. Style goes hand in hand with substance.


Thank you to Capitol College for the use of some of the examples on this page.