When sentence and
paragraph flow from one to
another without discernible bumps, gaps,
or shifts, they are said to be coherent.
Coherence can be improved by
strengthening the various ties between
old information and new. Transitions and
transitional phrases ar one of the most
effective means of maintaining coherence. The
following describes this method and a number of
other helpful techniques for improving
coherence.
REPEATING KEY
WORDS
Repetition of key words
is an
important technique for achieving
coherence. Perhaps you were told in
elementary school that repetition is
wrong in that it is unimaginative. This
teaching is not entirely untrue, but
there are methods involving repetition
of key words which are particularly
helpful in the essay format. The purpose
of repetition here is to provide your
reader with a sense of flow - as opposed
to a jerkiness or awkward movement from
one idea to the next. To prevent
repetitions from becoming dull, you can
use variations of the key word [hike,
hiker, hiking], pronouns referring to
the word [gamblers....they], and
synonyms [run, spring, race, dash]. The
idea is to help your reader follow you
as you develop your thesis paragraph by
paragraph, word by word.
USING
PARALLEL
STRUCTURES
Parallel
structures are frequently used within
sentences to underscore the similarity
of ideas. They may also be used to bind
together a series of sentences
expressing similar information. In the
following passage describing folk
beliefs, anthropologist Margaret Mead
presents similar information in parallel
grammatical form:
Actually, almost
everyday, even in the most sophisticated
home, something is likely to happen that
evokes the memory of some old folk
belief. The salt spills. A knife falls
to the floor. Your nose tickles. Then,
perhaps, with a slightly embarrassed
smile,the person who spilled the salt
tosses a pinch over his left shoulder.
Or someone recites the old rhyme 'Knife
falls, gentleman calls.' Or, as you rub
your nose you think, That means a
letter. I wonder who's writing?
PROVIDING
TRANSITIONS
Certain words
and phrases signal connections between
ideas, connections that might otherwise
be missed. The following is a useful
list of some transitions.
TO SHOW
ADDITION - and, also, besides,
further,
furthermore, in addition, moreover,
next, too, first, second
TO GIVE
EXAMPLES - for example, for
instance, to
illustrate, in fact, specifically
TO COMPARE - also, in the same
manner, similarly, likewise
TO
CONTRAST - but, however, on the
other hand, in contrast, by contrast,
nevertheless, still, even though, on the
contrary, yet, although
TO SUMMARIZE
OR CONCLUDE - in other words, in
short, in summary, in conclusion, to sum up,
that is, therefore
TO SHOW
TIME - after, as, before, next,
during, later, finally, meanwhile, then, when,
while, immediately,
eventually
TO SHOW PLACE OR
DIRECTION - above, below, beyond,
farther on, nearby, opposite, close, to
the left
TO INDICATE LOGICAL
RELATIONSHIP - if, so, therefore,
consequently, thus, as a result, for
this reason, since [you can see how
useful these simple words can be in an
essay using the Cause and Effect
structure]
Skilled writers use transitional
expressions with care, making sure, for
example [note my transitional phrase],
not to use a consequently when an
also would be more precise. They
are also careful to select transitions
with an appropriate tone, perhaps
preferring so to thus in
an informal piece, or in summary
to in short for a scholarly
essay.
In the following paragraph,
taken from an argument that dinosaurs
had the "'right-sized brains for
reptiles of their body size," Stephen
Jay Gould uses transitions [underlined]
with skill:
I don't wish to deny that the
flattened, miniscule head of the
large-bodied "Stegosaurus" houses little
brain from our subjective, top-heavy
perspective, but I do wish to
assert that we should not expect more of
the beast. First of all, large
animals have relatively smaller brins
than related, small animals. The
correlation of brain size with body size
among kindred animals [all reptiles, all
mammals, for example, is
remarkably regular. As we move
from small to large animals, from mice
to elephants or small lizards to
Komodo dragons, brain size increases,
but not so fast as body size.
In other words, bodies grow faster than
brains, and large animals have low
ratios of brain weight to body weight.
Since we have no reason to believe that
large animals are consistently stupider than
their smaller relatives, we must conclude that
large animals require relatively less brain to
do as well as smaller animals.If we do
not recognize this relationship, we are likely
to underestimate the mental power of very large
animals, dinosaurs in particular.
- Stephen Jay Gould, Were Dinosaurs
Dumb?
ASSESS THE WRITING SITUATION
Believe it or not, we have covered a lot of
ground already and it would be a good idea to
practice some of the strategies I've outlined
thus far. For instance, try writing a formal
outline. Remember to formulate a thesis or main
idea and develop that with supporting points,
give examples, use comparison and contrast,
cause and effect, and play around a bit.
Familiarize yourself with the ingredients of a
good essay - use plenty of transitional words
and phrases, make certain each paragraph begins
with your main point in that topic sentence.
Your thesis sentence will be the powerful,
argumentative one at the end of that first
paragraph. Paste it on top of your computer
screen if you must, for your whole essaymust
support your thesis. Anticipate arguments
against your thesis and address these with a
rebuttal.
Now, let's go back to the beginning - the
planning stages of your essay. Take a look at
your writing situation. The following checklist
may help you get started.
1. How broadly must you cover the subject?
Might you narrow it down to a ore specific
topic?
2. How detailed should your coverage be?
3. Where will your information come from? From
personal experience? Direct observation?
Interviews? Questionnaires? Reading?
PURPOSE
4. Why are you writing? Do you hope to inform
readers, to persuade them [that's us], to
entertain them, to call them to action [also
persuasive - consider Martin Luther King] - or
some combination of these?
AUDIENCE
5. Who are your readers?
6. How much do they already know about your
subject? [e.g., if you are a computer scientist
and Bill Gates with his staff is your audience,
then obviously that will make a big difference
in, say, the details and complexity and wording
of your essay. On the other hand, [note the
transitional phrase] if you are attempting to
discuss technology with sixth graders, then you
will have to use simple language and employ
metaphors [more on these later] to which the
children can relate. Of course, you must ever
"talk down" to your audience and, conversely,
be assertive and confident about your
thesis.
7. How interested and attentive are they likely
to be?
8. Will they resist any of your ideas
9. How close a relationship with them can you
assume?
10. How sophisticated are they as readers? Do
they have large vocabularies? Can they process
long and complex sentences?
LENGTH AND FORMAT
11. Are you working within any length
specifications? If not, what length seems
appropriate, given your subject, your purpose,
and your audience?
12. Must you use a particular format? Some
possible formats in the academic world are
essays, lab reports, case studies, and research
papers. Some possible formats in the
business world are letters, resumes, memos,
reports, and proposals. Your essay writing
experience right here will make any other form
of writing much easier to learn.
STRUCTURE
After the thesis, the essay's basic structure
is the most valuable means of putting ideas
before the reader. In fact, an essay is simply
a means of communicating and illustrating an
idea in orderly structural steps. The essay is
also one of your best means of discovery,
seeing things as you hadn't known, or hadn't
known you knew, as you try to persuade someone
about something you believe true. Your thesis
is this belief. Your structure unfolds this
belief in logical sequence, following the basic
psychology of expectation and fulfillment.
Arranging your thesis and its illustration
along this structural line is the clearest way
to both understanding and persuasion.
BEGINNING, MIDDLE, END
As Aristotle long ago pointed out, works that
spin teir way through time need a beginning, a
middle, and an end to give them the stabilty of
spatial things like paintings and statues. You
need a clear beginning to give your essay
character and direction so the reader can tell
where he is going and can look forward with
expectation. Your beginning, of course, will
set forth the thesis. You need a middle to
amplify and fulfill. This will be the body of
your argument, the bulk of your essay. You need
an end to let readers know that they have
arrived and where. This will be your final
paragraph, a summation and reassertion of your
theme.
Give your reader the three-part "feel" of
eginning, middle, and end - the mind likes this
triple order. Many a beginner's essay has no
structure and leaves no impression. It is
oftenall chaotic middle. It has no beginning,
it just starts; it has no end, it just
stops.
The beginning must feel like a beginning, not
like an accident. It should be at least a full
paragraph that lets your reader gently into the
subject and culminates with your thesis. The
end, likewise, should be a full paragraph, one
that drives the point home, pushes the
implications wide, and brings the reader to
rest, back on the fundamental thesis to give a
sense of completion.
BASIC STRATEGIES: Arranging Your Points in
Order of Increasing Interest
Once your thesis has sounded the challenge,
your reader's interest is probably at its
highest pitch. He wants to see how you can
prove so outrageous a thing, or to see what the
arguments are for this thing he has always
believe [or perhaps not] but never tested. Each
step of the way into your demonstration, he is
learning more of what you have to say. But,
unfortunately, his interest may be relaxing as
it becomes satisfied: the reader's normal line
of attention is a progressive decline, arching
down like a wintry graph. Against this decline
you must oppose your forces, making each
successive point more interesting. And save
your best until the last.
ACKNOWLEDGE AND DISPOSE OF THE OPPOSITION, POINT
BY POINT
A serious controversial argument demands one
organizational consideration beyond the simple
structure of ascending interest. Although you
have taken your stand firmly as a "pro" [i.e.,
in favor of and supporting], you will have to
allow scope to the "cons", or you will seem not
to have thought much about your subject. The
more opposition you can manage as you carry
your point, the more triumphant you will seem
upon disposing of your opposition.
This balancing of pros against cons is one of
the most fundamental orders of thought: the
dialectic order, which is the order of
argument, one side pitted against the other.
Our minds naturally swing from side to side as
we think. In dialectics, we simply give one
side an argumentative edge, producing a thesis
that cuts a clear line through any subject.
"This is better than that." The basic
organizing principle here is to get rid of the
opposition first, and to end on yur own
side:
Despite their many advantages, welfare
payments...
Although dogs are fine pets, cats....
The subordinate clause states the subordinate
part of your argument, which is the concession
to the con viewpoint; your main clause states
your main argument. As the subordinate clause
comes first in your thesis sentence, so with
the subordinate argument in your essay.
Sentence and essay both reflect a natural
psychological principle. You want, and the
reader wants, to get the opposition out of the
way. Again, transitional words and phrases play
an important role in this back-and-forth
argumentation. But and however
are always guides for the pro's, serving as
switches back to the main line. and nevertheless are the
basic pro's. But always heads its
turning sentence [not followed by a comma];
nevertheless usually does [followed by a
comma]. However is always better buried
in the sentence between commas.
The following is an example of the pro's and
cons of an argument on Banning Nuclear Power.
Note the language of concession, yet assertion
of your thesis.
THESIS-Nuclear power should be banned.
[pro]
To be sure, fossil fuels are
failing....[con]
But the risks of nuclear power are
high....[pro]
Of course, no one has yet been
harmed....[con]
Even foolproof power plants, however,produce
toxic wastes....[pro]
I concede that burial, or storage has worked so
far....{con]
Nevertheless, proliferating nuclear power
plants will soon outproduce all known means of
storing and disposing wastes....[pro]
Indeed, the more plants, the more the risk of
subversion and bombs....[pro]
Limiting nuclear power has already spurred
research into alternate energy....[pro]
Therefore, the sooner we ban all nuclear power,
the sooner we will have safe and adequate
energy....[pro]
This pattern of concession and assertion, then,
is your argumentation in practice. It has a
rhythm and the fact that you are addressing
objections to your side of the argument and
responding to them shows your reader you are
fair-minded and aware of the larger view.
EXAMPLE OF A BRIEF ESSAY FROM THE NEW YORK TIMES
To put some of the above-mentioned ideas on coherence, transitions, thesis, concession, persuasion, and argumentation to practical use, read the following with a critical eye and watch for some of the elements of the essay format. You should readily identify this article as a tongue-in-cheek humorous comment on the effect of modern technology on the English language and the metaphor or analogy of language, of vocabulary and words, as business. Writer Beard talks of the English language as a commodity which can be "owned", traded on the stock exchange, and be subject to a "hostile takeover." The business metaphor [figurative language] works well: it evokes comedy while delivering the message. As an essayist, that is your goal: entertain your reader while sliding the thesis into your discourse. Already we can say that the strategy of cause/effect is an organizing principle; the thesis I just stated; humour often endears the audience and "hooks" its attention, causing the reader to continue to the end of the article and not to turn the page to the sports section. Apply those questions about audience and so on to this essay. Does this essay entertain you? Does it inform you? Do you recognize the argument being made beneath the veneer of humour, the message being communicated to you, the reader? Here, then, is one style of essay writing you can enjoy and learn from - one of many styles. You will find your own voice and your own personal style after writing a few essays. There is nothing more satisfying than that epiphanic moment when the nuances and idiosyncrasies of your very own style are revealed to you - I can only describe this moment as a sudden but lasting clarity of vision and heightened self-awareness!
"ENGLISH: THE HOSTILE TAKEOVER"
Rumors are rampant in the tiny, tightknit world of dictionary compilers about what inside sources are calling ``the deal of the century, no matter what century this actually is´´ the impending acquisition by a consortium of companies, including America Online Time Warner, Microsoft, Amazon.com, Yahoo and AT&T, of the English language.
In recent days, word has spread among lexicographers that these computer and Internet giants have entered into an agreement with dictionary publishers and the cash-strapped British royal family, formal holders of the title to the Queen's English, to purchase exclusive worldwide rights to the venerable language and its offshoots, Babytalk and Pidgin English.
According to a specialist in circumlocution at the Library of Congress, ordinary people would still be able to use English at no charge for casual conversations ``conducted in person without artificial amplification.´´
But communication in print or by telephone, fax, e-mail, broadcast media, walkie-talkie transmission or other ``electronically enhanced modes´´ would be subject to a small monthly user fee, charged directly to the ``verbal subscriber´´ with the help of monitoring equipment already installed in most computer chips.
Although the full impact of the deal is impossible to assess before all the details are made public, a noted grammarian said he would certainly chafe under proposed provisions that would permit the new owners of English to restrict the use of derogatory words such as ``bug,´´ ``crash´´ or ``malfunction,´´ and retire objectionable terms such as ``monopoly,´´ ``fraud´´ or ``censorship.´´
Several linguists made it clear that they find little to cheer about in what one of them described as ``hollow reassurances´´ that people would still be free to communicate without restrictions by using hand signals, sign language or personal semaphore flags.
A prominent professor of philology, requesting anonymity, said she was profoundly concerned at reports that the new owners of English might seek to eliminate from the language certain ``pejorative proprietary expressions´´ such as ``This is a Mickey Mouse outfit´´ or ``It´s another Edsel.´´
A thesaurus editor was troubled by suggestions that, in a form of linguistic product placement, about 1,000 new words such as ``Budlightly,´´ ``Chevytough,´´ and ``Metlifelike´´ would probably be added to the vocabulary in future versions of English, starting with the Idiom IV chip-compatible English 2001, which will be available sometime next year for $97.
``I would say that Shakespeare is rolling in his grave,´´ the head of a prominent university publishing house remarked last week, ``if it weren´t for the fact that all references to any possible reactions by Shakespeare to current events have recently become the sole property of bardofavon.com.´´
(Henry Beard, author of ``Computing: A Hacker´s Lexicon´´ (Workman, 1999), is a New York-based writer and humorist.)
SOME COMMONLY
MISSPELLED WORDS
Consult your dictionary or spellchecker
regularly. Correct spelling is not an
insignificant afterthought. It shows sloppiness
and your grade will reflect this attitude. Some
words tend to be misspelled far more than
others. Major studies have identified the most
common blunders. On page five, I give some
commonly misused words, and these often involve
spelling as well. Perhaps "its" versus "it's"
is the most common error I have ever come
across personally in my years of reading
essays. [More on that example on page five.]
Here, then, are some slippery words to note
when writing your essay.
minuscule
millennium
embarrassment
embarrassing
occurrence
occurring
accommodate
accommodation
perseverance
supersede
superseded
noticeable
harass
inoculate
mischievous
pastime
occurred
separate
inseparable
embarrass
embarrassed
preceding
preceded
indispensable
definitely
privilege
gauge
vacuum
questionnaire
existence
miniature
publicly
weird
rhythm
separately
conscientious
conscious
misspell
hierarchy
grammar
calendar
dilettante
withhold
As you can see, many of these words are quite
common, not the "five dollar" words you may
hear from certain professors, pedants, and
DILETTANTES. So, please make an effort not to
MISSPELL the word
"GRAMMAR" since
this is one
of the aspects of essay writing we are
CONSCIOUS of
studying in this new MILLENNIUM. Be
CONSCIENTIOUS
about your spelling:-)
