Saviors 1
Rating: Mostly PG-13 but hits NC-17 in the middle. F/F (Buffy/Other) Slash.
Timeline: Sometime after "Bewitched, Bothered and Bewildered." Angel's still a bad guy, and will remain so as long as I want it.
Disclaimer: I don't own Buffy or the Scooby Gang. They belong to themselves and Joss. Alex is mine, and she does only what I'd love to do in another dimension. The following story contains adult material, such as the description, sometimes vividly, of two women in love. Now, if this is offensive to you, illegal where you live, and/or you are underage, I pity you and ask that you stop reading now. Either that, open your mind, move or save it until you're grown up.
Dedication: To all my friends and beta readers. Thanks for puttin up with me for so long. I am nothing without you guys.
"Saviors"
by Brandy
It was a slow night at the Bronze. Not much happening. No band playing, just a DJ with a stack of CD's. I was out on the floor dancing with my friends when I bumped into someone. As I turned to apologize I caught a brief glimpse of blonde hair before my eyes were captured by those of clear grey.
"Oh.. Alexandria, I'm sorry" came the soft voice, tinged with humor.
I'd just bumped into Buffy Summers. A dozen thoughts flashed through my head. None of them the witty things I was able to think of while I lay awake at night. All that came out was: "Uh.. No problem."
I'm such the conversationalist.
She smiled at me once before turning back to dance with her friends Willow, Xander and Cordelia . I turned back to mine, face flushed and warm, hoping they wouldn't notice. Or at least just think that it was from the dancing. After a moment I excused myself, claiming a need for air, and headed toward the back door.
As I walked, my mind was lost in thought. I'd first seen her almost two years ago when she transferred into the school. We had a couple of the same classes. She was shy, kinda quiet.. But soon after her arrival rumors started to fly about how strange she was. Most of them started by Queen C herself. Funny how close they were now though. From that first day, the first time I saw her smile, I felt drawn to her. Couldn't help it. And it got worse as time went by.
Getting to know her was easy. She was so friendly. We'd had several classes together all year long, talk during breaks.. Occasionally hang out at the Bronze. Falling in love was even easier. It took me a while before I admitted it, even to myself. But it was true. I loved her.
It's a hard thing to conceal. Harder to hide the pain when I'd see her with that older guy. Speaking of which.. 'He hasn't been around lately.. Wonder what happened.. What was his name.. Angel?' As I walked, I looked around the room, wondering if he was there. I reached the back door without spotting him. Shrugging slightly, I opened the door, loving the cool breeze that caressed my fevered skin.
Letting the door close behind me, I walked further into the alley. I closed my eyes and tried to relax. I didn't hear the footsteps behind me.
"I've seen you watching her."
I spun around, adrenaline levels rising fast. 'How could I be so stupid!?' Peering through the half gloom I finally noticed a figure in the shadows. "What?" I asked, trying to keep my voice steady, and mostly succeeding.
He stepped forward, saying "I know you watch her." It was that guy. The one I'd seen her with.
Once more my face flushed, half a dozen protests rising to and dying upon my lips. He was still talking.
"When you think no one is looking, your eyes are on her. Constantly." He smiled.
I tried to stutter a denial, but his next words took my breath away.
"She's watched you too."
My eyes reflected the amazement I felt. He chuckled as he saw it. "No, she's never said anything to me. But I could tell. Nothing she does escapes my notice."
At this point I figured he was telling me to back off and go away. I looked down, sighing. "I'm sor-"
With my eyes on the ground, I'd missed the change. My words were cut off by a hand on my throat. Tightly. I managed to gasp in a lungful of air before he cut off my supply. Eyes ran from his arm up to his face. It was changed, hideous. Ridges and planes made him into a demon. Fangs glinted in the light as he smiled. The scream died in my throat before I even had the chance to voice it.
Leaning down close to me, he whispered softly. "Finding you should be a shock to her.." He pulled my neck to the side, mouth descending. I felt his hot breath on my throat. I tried to get away, but he held me motionless.
I closed my eyes and waited for the end. His fangs touched my skin and agony erupted in my mind as they broke through. It departed quickly as a numb sensation spread from his mouth and along every limb. A dreamlike quality came over me. Dimly I heard a faint noise and it took a while for me to realize it was the sound of him feeding. Draining the life from me. When my legs started to buckle, one of his arms went around me, supporting me. Almost like a lover in an embrace.
A river of darkness was lapping at my feet. I started to let myself drift away.
"Why don't you let her go." Even through the fog I knew that voice.. What was she doing out here?
He spun around, pulling me between him and Buffy. She stood there, calmly. How could she be calm?? This guy was a... was a... 'Vampire' my mind whispered.
I tried to make my eyes focus on her. She was an indistinct shape that wavered at the edges of my vision. She was flushed, either from the dancing or the adrenaline rush she must be feeling. I was still trying to figure out why she wasn't running the other way. She stood, legs slightly apart, ready to spring forward if needed. He chuckled softly, his face still near my neck, his breath tickling my ear.
"You really do have a habit of ruining my fun." His voice was mocking. His hands clenched me a bit tighter, eliciting a whimper of pain from me. I could barely see her expression change, harden. She tensed and was suddenly flying through the air. She was done with talking.
Faster than I could process, I was lifted into the air and thrown. I collided with Buffy in midair and we went down in a tangle of limbs. Through the careening view I saw a dark shape fleeing back down the ally.
Then my head slammed into the ground and the dark river washed over me.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I drifted in the blackness. Surrounded by the pressing dark. The only sound I could hear was the pulse of my heart, the rushing of my blood Through my veins. It was peaceful here. No threats, no terror. Just calm.
Then something intruded. A sound that didn't belong.
"...Must have been Angel." A voice that should be familiar but wasn't. I struggled to sink back to where I had been.
"...Wanted to hurt me again." This voice I did know. The voice of my savior. I stirred restlessly. Savior? Savior from what? I strove to push down the memory that rose beneath me. I didn't want this. I didn't want to remember anything.
"...Is she going to be all right?" A third voice distracted me, thankfully, and the memory sank back down.
"...I think so.." The second voice seemed closer, pulling me up into the light..
My eyes snapped open, a startled scream on my lips. I tried to back away but was held by someone very strong.
I struggled for a moment before a voice penetrated my fear.
"Alex... It's ok.. You're ok. It's over."
I finally took my first good look around me. Xander and Cordelia were standing in front of me, Willow was crouched on my left, and the one crouched on my right, holding me, was Buffy. Three things hit me in rapid succession.
One: My head was pounding, driving agony into every part of my body.
Two: They all looked really worried, and in Buffy's case, panicked.
Three: I couldn't remember how I'd gotten there.
I let my eyes close, finally relaxing into the arms that held me. Too busy with trying to figure out what had happened, I barely noticed the tremors that wracked Buffy's body. Noticed and promptly buried in my subconscious.
The last thing I remembered was dancing with my friends. Then I... My brow furrowed as I tried to remember what happened after that. I was shifted slightly as Buffy settled to the ground and pulled me into her lap.
Buffy! That was it! I'd bumped into Buffy and gone outside until I calmed down. Then... I frowned again, my heartbeat sped up and I started to shake. Then something had happened. Something bad. Something I didn't want to remember.
I shook my head, opening my eyes again. Then winced at the pain the movement caused.
"Easy.. Take it easy. You're alright. We're all here." Buffy soothed me gently. Her hands absently stroked my shoulder, my hair. Once again I noticed. And forgot as Cordelia spoke up.
"Why would you come out here anyway?" She ignored Xander's elbow. "I mean, really.. why?"
I flushed a little, my gaze going from her to Buffy. I wasn't going to tell them the truth. Buffy gave me a little smile. I flushed even more.
"I.. the heat.. of the club got to me.. I just.. wanted air. I didn't think about anything else..." I tried to sit up again. The pain was like a hammer blow to the back of my head. My vision blurred and I let out a groan. Buffy pulled me back into her lap.
"No no no.. Not yet. Do you..." She hesitated. "Remember what happened after you came outside?"
I let myself be cradled as I forced back the panic.
"No. I don't remember anything." I whispered softly.
"I still can't believe you came out here, what with disappearances because of all the.." Xander's hand flew out and covered Cordelia's mouth.
"Sometimes she needs to learn how not to speak." He gave a thin smile.
I didn't feel up to pursuing it. I looked back up at Buffy. "So, what.. did happen?" I had to force the words out, so great was my fear of knowing.
She looked at the others for a moment, then met my eyes.
"You were attacked." Her eyes searched mine.
My breath caught in my throat, my heart seemed to stop. I could almost hear a low snarling in my ear, feel breath on my throat. "Oh my god." I looked down at myself, wondering just what had happened.
She saw my look, and quickly shook her head. "Nothing.. happened.. I.. we.. showed up in time." She looked quickly at the others. They nodded slowly. I exhaled slowly. At least that was something.
They let me recover for a few minutes, Willow went back inside to tell Oz that she was going to go home with the others. When she came back out, I tried standing.
At first it was a no-go. Any attempt to move was met by nausea. But it got easier. Soon I was able to walk with support. One of my arm's was around Buffy's shoulders, while one of hers was around my waist.
After a moments discussion, we decided to take me home. My parents were asleep, and I didn't want to deal with them. I didn't want anyone to know. I just wanted to go home and forget it happened.
We all piled in Cordelia's car, I was in the back, in the middle, with Buffy and Willow on either side. Willow was the first stop, she hugged me once, said she'd see me tomorrow and got out. I was next. When the car stopped, I suddenly didn't want to move. I didn't want to leave them. These people had saved me. I wanted to be alone, but I didn't want to be away from them.
Buffy sensed my hesitation and smiled. "How about I walk you in?"
I nodded gratefully, thanked Cordelia for the ride and both her and Xander for their help. For once Cordelia managed to say the right thing. Sort of.
"I'm here if you need me... Well.. Most of the time." Xander gave me an apologetic look. I gave a slight chuckle and got out of the car.
He called after me. "She means well.. Really."
Buffy helped me up the walk and took the key from my trembling hand. My legs were ready to give again. She didn't leave once the door was opened, but helped me up to my room. I opened the door, took a step forward...
And fell into oblivion.
The next morning when I awoke, I was tucked neatly into my bed, still in the clothes I had been wearing the night before. At first I was confused. Then I remembered. I stood quickly, shedding my outfit and jumping into the shower. I felt dirty and didn't think that any amount of soap was going to help.
I stayed until the hot water ran out. I got out and looked myself over carefully. There were hollows under my eyes, a bruised, frightened look. Their normal bright green was a sickly color, like that of a hospital scrub outfit. My auburn hair was matted to my neck, trailing over a huge bruise that I'd missed before. It lay just where my neck met my shoulder.
It looked like a bite. 'Oh gods.. He bit me..' Tears sprang to my eyes at the horror that washed through me. I went numb. I got dressed slowly, pulling on a shirt that would cover the evidence of my attack. I didn't want to think about it, much less explain it.
My mother called upstairs, telling me I was going to be late. I finished getting ready and walked downstairs and out the door.
I dreaded school. I didn't want to see anyone. But I had to pretend everything was fine. That my world hadn't been turned upside down.
Yet.. There was a part of me that was looking forward to it. After a moment's thought I had an idea. Buffy. I felt safe around her. And I couldn't figure out why.
I turned the corner and headed toward school.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I sighed to myself. The teacher droned on and on. I couldn't focus on her though. I couldn't focus on anything. Glancing at the clock, I sighed again. Twenty minutes until the bell rang. I looked out the window, watching a bird hopping around on the branch outside. I wondered what it would be like to be a bird. To have no worries. Just have to make the nest and feed the young. To fly where you wanted-
BUUUZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ.
I looked back at the clock. Class was over. I had just lost twenty minutes. Again. I gathered my books and walked toward the door, trying to ignore the concerned looks directed my way. Willow and Xander watched me leave, following at a distance.
It was three weeks after the attack. Everyone was worried about me. My grades were falling, I didn't pay attention in class, or have any desire to do the work required. I wasn't sleeping well, if at all. Not since that first night.
When I'd gotten to school the next day, Willow and Xander were waiting for me. They tried to ask me how I was, but I brushed it off with a simple "I'm fine." They saw right through that. Xander left Willow and I alone, at Willow's prompting hints, looks and, finally, elbow. She asked me again how I was. I shrugged and headed inside.
Where I ran into Buffy. Literally.
I had my head down, walking quickly. Trying to outrun Willow or my own thoughts, I wasn't sure. I rounded a corner and slammed into someone. I looked up, my face turning red as I saw who it was. She smiled at me, but her eyes were dark with worry. She looked like she hadn't slept that well.
"Hi, Alex." Concern was laced throughout her voice.
I avoided her eyes. "Hi."
"Are you..." She hesitated.
"I'm fine. Really."
She sighed. Her hand touched my chin, turning my face towards hers. She took in my hollow cheeks, sunken eyes and correctly read my stress levels. "Uh huh.. You forget who you're talking to."
I jerked away. Embarrassment flooded my face, making my cheeks hot. How could I face anyone after what had happened. Especially Buffy. I turned away. "I'm fine. I don't want to talk about it. Ever." I dashed past her and down the hall, ignoring their surely shocked looks that followed me.
*
I pulled myself back from my musings. I was standing in front of my locker. With no idea how long I'd been there. I sighed again. That was becoming a habit. Loss of time, followed by the sigh. And I had no idea how to fix it. I mechanically spun the combination on my locker. Getting the books for the next class, I closed it. And almost screamed.
Buffy was standing there.
I blinked a couple times then started to turn away. She followed.
"Heya."
I mumbled something that may have been a hello. I walked faster. Buffy easily kept pace.
"How have you been?" Her voice seemed neutral.
"Fine." Mine was terse.
"That's not what I've heard." She stopped as I suddenly halted and faced her.
Quietly I said, "What?" 'I'm being watched? By whom?'
"Or seen." She looked at me critically. "You've stopped eating apparently."
I looked down. Ok, so my clothes were pretty much hanging off my body. So what?
"As well as stopped caring how you dress. Imagine if Cordelia saw you." She managed to take the sting out of the words with a smile. I felt the first stirrings of... Something. I hadn't felt in so long I couldn't even figure out my emotions. But somehow her smile made me feel again.
The smile slipped away. "And you've begun to fail in class." She sounded worried again.
I started to turn away, but her hand on my shoulder stopped me.
I felt trapped. Panic welled up and caused me to lash out. "Who's been spying on me!? Who have you had watching my every move?"
She stepped back, startled, almost... wounded. "I.. No one..."
"Yeah right." I walked off. She ran and caught up with me.
"Don't walk away from me like that." Once more she stopped me. "Now you're going to listen."
"Why should I? What gives you the right to tell me what to do?" I was irrational, and I knew it. But couldn't stop. I saw the verbal blows strike. Saw the pain in her eyes. And kept talking. "We hardly know each other. Why should my welfare mean anything to you?" Part of me was dying. She would never know how much I loved her. And here I was pushing her away.
"I never said..."
I didn't let her finish. "Just because you.. you..." The words stuck in my throat. "Just because you saved my life..." Something was wrong. My breath was coming fast. Too fast. The world started to darken around me. I felt myself sway. I tried to keep my feet, but the ground slid left under me.
Buffy caught me, made up some excuse to concerned students in the hall and eased me to a nearby door and outside to a bench.
"Just close your eyes and breath slowly." She spoke softly, trying to calm me down. She rubbed my back slowly, trying to offer comfort.
I tried. I tried hard. But it wasn't working. Flashes of.... Something... kept flying through my mind. I shied away from them. I didn't want to see. I didn't want to remember.
Buffy leaned closer. "It's alright. I'm here. Nothing can get you now. You're okay." She kept repeating that, hand stroking my back, letting me know I wasn't alone.
Slowly, gradually, my panic attack faded. I was able to breath normally, the world no longer threatened to fall away. And once again, I'd made a complete ass out of myself.
I felt her gaze on me. I couldn't look at her. How could she still be here after the things I said? How can she still care enough to worry about me. What was wrong with me.
"Alex..?" She tapped my shoulder lightly.
I didn't answer, my shoulders hunching in. I was learning to live my life embarrassed.
She seemed to understand. And to my complete surprise asked me the last thing I expected. I was sure she'd question me on how I was doing, why I was failing. Something like that. Not Buffy. She has to do the unexpected.
"Mom's going out of town. I'm having a girls night. Willow's bringing the popcorn and movies."
I turned. Stared. My mouth dropped.
She laughed, the sound tinkling through the afternoon air. "Is that a yes, or a no?" She winked at me.
"I.... I.. me?" I was sure I was dreaming.
"Course you. I figure we could all use a break." And I knew that was the closest we'd get to talking about that night. She smiled again. "Come on. It'll be fun. Movies, popcorn, games, fun. Talking about anyone and everyone."
Her smile was infectious. I felt myself respond. I grinned like a fool.
"Sure... I.. guess."
"You guess? That doesn't sound too enthusiastic." She mock frowned at me.
I held my hands up. "Alright alright. I give. I'll go!" I laughed. It felt good. So I laughed again. Sheer delight spread through me. Buffy picked up on it and chuckled.
"That's *much* better." She smiled at me. "You've got a beautiful laugh. Should use it more often."
I blushed faintly. If I didn't know better.. But of course it was all in my imagination. Wasn't it?
Shaking myself mentally, as well as adding 'Come on now. You know better than to even try to think that. She's concerned as a friend only,' I stood up. She rose to her feet as well, and we walked off to our next classes, making plans for the night.
For the first time in weeks I had something to look forward to. My gaze strayed to the slim form beside me. Even if it wasn't what I hoped in my heart.
The sun shone down on us, the clouds were nowhere to be seen, and the birds soared through the air. But what lifted my spirits the most wasn't any of those things. It was the laugh that followed something I said, the gleam in a blue eye that occurred every time we made eye contact, and the arm slung around my shoulders before we parted ways.
Things were looking up.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Arming myself with something to sleep in and my favorite pillow, I set out for Buffy's house later on that night. My mom dropped me off, told me to have fun and stay out of trouble. I watched her drive off and turned around. Mentally bracing myself, I walked up to the front door. It opened on the second knock.
"Hi!" Buffy grabbed my arm and pulled me inside. Shutting the door behind me, she led me into the dining room. "Put that stuff there and come into the kitchen."
I felt my spirits lift again at her cheerfulness. I set my things on the table and followed the smell of popcorn. Rounding a corner I found Buffy rummaging in the fridge, and Willow poised near the microwave. The sound of kernels slowly popping informed me it was almost ready. I laughed as a I saw the already full bowl sitting on the counter.
"Just how much do you think we're going to eat?"
Buffy looked at me over her shoulder, eyes dancing with laughter. "All of it. A girl needs a little indulgence now and then." She turned back around and leaned over, presenting me with a view that took my breath away. I quickly looked back to Willow.
"Yeah. Buffy and I usually eat the store out of all their popcorn when her mom goes out of town." She grinned. "But Buffy's the only one who doesn't have to go out of her way to work it off."
I smiled. "Why's that?"
"Cause of all the time she spends..."
Buffy shot up out of the fridge. "Wil!"
Willow jumped. A look of near panic shot across her face. "What?"
Buffy chuckled weakly. "A girl has to have some *secrets*." She seemed to be giving Willow a Look.
"Oh.. yeah.. Secrets.. Uh.. ." Willow stuttered a little. "Lets just say she.. does... stuff.. she keeps in shape."
'I'll say she does...' I couldn't help the thought. I smiled. "Ok. We can say that."
They seemed to breathe a sigh of relief. Willow turned back to the microwave just as it beeped. As she took out the bag and emptied it into the bowl, Buffy brought me a soda. "I hope this is ok."
I nodded, taking it from her. "Thanks. It's great."
We stood there for a second, just looking at each other. I somehow lost myself in her smile. Her eyes. It was a nice feeling. I thought I saw a response in her. I shifted slightly, to take a step forward or back, I didn't know. Just then Willow came up next to us, the huge bowl of popcorn held awkwardly in her arms. It was like a spell had been broken. Buffy and I both blinked, then turned as Wil gave a slight cry.
The bowl was slipping from her grasp. Buffy was faster than I, grabbing and balancing the load easily. I shook my head. Surely I was still out of it. She couldn't have moved that fast. Seemed almost a blur to me. Which would explain why I thought I saw interest in her eyes. I wasn't quite up to par. Imagining things. That had to be it.
"Shall we?" Buffy laughed and gestured with her head towards the door. "The movie awaits.. And the popcorn is getting cold."
"After you." I bowed with a flourish to Willow, grinning. "Since I don't know the way."
She laughed and walked out of the room. I grabbed the sodas off the counter and followed, very aware of the woman who walked behind me.
We trooped up the stairs and down the hall to her room. Upon entering Willow immediately claimed the chair next to the bed. "Mine." She smiled happily, holding out her arms.
Buffy laughed as she followed me in and gave her the popcorn. Passing me, she flopped onto the bed. I looked around.
Her brow furrowed. "What's wrong?"
I smiled sheepishly. "So.. uh.. where do I.. Um.. sit?"
"Oh!" She laughed and scooted over, patting the mattress next to her. "Here. Wil loves the chair. I think she's insane, personally."
"Hey!" Willow gave a mock wounded look. "I'm no more insane than you."
Buffy nodded sadly. "Exactly." I laughed. "Oh Willow. You're lost." I barely ducked the pillow that was thrown at my head. Then got hit by the second one thrown by Buffy. I laughed and handed them each their soda and laid down on the bed. It was comfy. Lots of pillows and blankets. A girl could sleep good here. 'Or *not* sleep... ' I stopped myself from traveling down that path. That would be a bad thing at this point.
Buffy grabbed her remote from her night stand and started the movie.