Trauma

TITLE: Trauma 1/1
AUTHOR: Jingo
E-MAIL: jingoclay@yahoo.com
RAITING: PG-13 for some implied violence
DISTRIBUTION: Crazy enough to want it than do with it what you like. Then seek help. Soon to be archived at https://www.angelfire.com/ca4/faithzangel/index.html
SUMMARY: Something’s seriously amiss with Buffy and the only way to help her heal may be to remember someone she tried to forget.
FEEDBACK: I have a severely atrophied ego, please with just a few nice words you can give an aspiring author a reason to pat herself on the back. Here’s Sally Stuthers to tell you more…
DISCLAIMER: I own nothing except the clothes on my back. This is to say all things Buffy are the property of Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy Productions, and The WB networks.
AUTHOR’S NOTES: I’m a terrible writer and I never would’ve done this if it hadn’t been for the encouragement of a very special person who goes by the name of FaithzAngl. So if you like this for some ungodly reason you have her to thank, and if you hate it you have only me to blame.

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He burst through the double doors of the hospital. When he got there the redhead was pacing the floor of the waiting room.

"Is she all right? Where is she?" Willow turned and greeted Giles with as much cheerfulness as the situation warranted.

"She’s okay. Doctor’s say she’d recovering fast." The librarian sighed in relief and fell into the nearest available chair. Willow remained standing a worried look on her face. "That’s not all of it though." Giles gazed up confused. Willow took a seat net to him. "Now sure, I don’t know much about fighting styles or other combat, since you can’t really read that in a book and the ones there are don’t help much because it’s really a watch and lean thing…" Giles removed his glasses and gave her a pleading look. "Oh yeah sorry, it’s just that the vamps that did this to Buffy weren’t that good, I mean certainly not tough enough to beat up her up the way they did." Giles had a look of confusion on his face that soon turned to concern. "And there’s more…"

Willow went on to tell Giles the rest of what she’s overheard the Doctor’s saying.

The clatter of metal hitting tile sounded through the hallway as a flurry of objects flung in Giles direction, followed by the sound of his clipped British accent.

"Don’t lie to me, you’ve fought far worse enemies without getting so much as scratched. I can’t believe this is just simple carelessness. And what about those cuts?" There were more sounds of objects hitting the wall and crashing to the floor this time followed by another distinctly female voice. "Get out!"

Willow sat on a bench outside the room listening to it all. She looked around and noticed people were starting to get concerned. A nurse picked up the phone, presumably to call security. She was somewhat thankful when she saw Giles step out of the room with a defeated look on his face. Willow put her hand on his shoulder as he angled his head toward the floor. "I’d ask how it went but I think most of the trauma ward knows." She gave a wan smile and was pleased when Giles matched it.

"I can’t seem to get through to her." He admitted with a sigh. "Something’s obviously going on but she won’t tell me. And I fear she may do more damage to herself yet." He removed his glasses and went about his nervous habit of cleaning them on his shirt sleeve. Willow noticed the weariness in his eyes.

"Why don’t you go home and get some sleep . Nothing’s gonna happen as long as she’s in the hospital. We can try again tomorrow." He was about to protest but let out a yawn before the chance arrived.

"Perhaps you’re right. I’ll see you tomorrow Willow." He turned his head toward the room "Hopefully then she’ll be a little more well mannered." They exchanged a goodbye hug and Giles departed down the hall. Willow turned toward the room.

She’d gone wandering the halls while Giles had been talking to Buffy and ran into something that caused her to closely examine Buffy’s current problem. She had some things to say that Giles couldn’t be there for.

Buffy was laid back on the bed staring at the ceiling. To Willow’s mind she looked a lot better than she had when she first arrived at the hospital. Willow shuddered at the thought of Buffy, pale and covered in her own blood. Willow had never seen anything like it before. Buffy had been beaten within an inch of her life by a couple of vamps who hadn’t been dead long enough to get cold. It shouldn’t have happened and it couldn’t happen again.

Willow examined her as she lay in the bed. Buffy was looking better now, slayer healing and all, but there were still wounds visible. She saw the deep cuts on each off her forearms, shining out a deep crimson against her fair skin. It took Willow a while to find her voice but it came eventually.

"Hey how’s my favorite slayer?" Buffy ripped her gaze from the ceiling a gave her friend a weak smile.

"I’m fine but try to tell my watcher that." Willow moved to the side of the bed letting her concern seep into her facial features.

"He’s worried about you. And so am I" Buffy turned her head away from her.

"Not the first time I’ve gotten the crap kicked out of me."

"It’s the first time you did it on purpose." Willow put on her resolve face as Buffy turned back toward her.

"Yeah I’ve heard that one too. You know me Will it’s not true. Why would I do something like that?" Willow sighed and put her hand on Buffy’s.

"I’m not sure some people would say you’re hurting yourself because you think you need to be punished for something. Or maybe you’re subconsciously trying to bring yourself back here." Buffy gave a half hearted chuckle. Willow knew she’d broken through.

"What? You mean the hospital? The food ain’t that great trust me." Willow remained serious.

"Maybe there’s someone here you need to see." Buffy froze, "You haven’t ever come back to see her have you?" Buffy shook her head slightly. "I didn’t realize it until I saw her down the hall a minute ago. I mean I never liked her much, granted but you two were close. Closer than I think you let on. I think you’ve got some unfinished business and part of you is trying to force the rest of you into attending to it." Buffy’s face was blank indicating she was obviously mulling over what had been said. Willow gave her hand a final squeeze. "I’ve got to get home. Think about what I’ve said okay." She left leaving Buffy lost in thought.

She stood in the hall outside the closed door, having a silent argument with herself. Maybe Willow was wrong, it did happen from time to time. Underlying her train of thought as to whether or not this would actually help her was the sad truth that she was just afraid to see her.

‘You don’t go to see someone in the hospital if you put them there.’ The rationale had worked for her before whenever she wondered how Faith was doing. It had worked but it wasn’t true. The plain fact of the matter that was Buffy the Vampire Slayer was afraid.

Not that there was much danger from the incapacitated Faith she was just afraid of remembering. What had she told Faith after the alley? "It’s not the same we don’t kill people." Well that had worked until it became convenient for Buffy to do the same thing. She didn’t want to be reminded of that, and the best way to keep that from happening was to forget Faith existed. Which seemed to work until today.

In the months since graduation there had just been something amiss with her, she couldn’t place it but it never went away. College hadn’t done anything to mend the problem it simply stayed with her and festered. She just felt so hollow she would’ve done anything to fill the hole inside her. That’s how it started a small cut here or there just enough to give her something to feel and focus on besides the emptiness and the one thing she desperately wanted to forget. She hadn’t meant for it to go this far, hadn’t meant to end up back in the hospital. Or maybe she had, just like Willow said.

Still Buffy stared at the door. There were only two options either she’d turn around and continue trying to live the way she had or accept that maybe the thing she’d been missing lay behind the door. Slowly she turned the knob.

The room was dark. Not that that was a surprise, after all the occupant didn’t have much need of light. As the door crept open Buffy could hear the steady beeping of the heart monitor. She stood in the doorway afraid to go any further. With the small amount of light let in by the door she could just make out the features of the body on the bed. Faith was looking better than the last time she’d seen her. All the cuts and bruises had healed leaving her in near perfect condition externally. But it was the internal damage that kept her confined to the bed.

Slowly Buffy made her way inside, flipping the light switch as she went. Taking advantage of the chair by the bed she sat down. For a few long moments she remained silent looking at Faith’s almost lifeless form. It seemed such a contrast to the vibrant person she’d known And Buffy had herself to thank for that. Finally after several long minutes she opened her mouth to speak.

"Hey bet I was the last person you expected to see…not that you can see me with your eyes closed, but well I think you know what I meant…I guess you know the mayor went down and I have you to thank for it so…thanks." She sighed and settled back into the chair. "That wasn’t what I came here to say. Not that I know what I want to say, but I know it wasn’t that. I just wanted to say…I miss you Faith. We were a team you and I. I’ve tried to forget you but you won’t go away, and now…I almost killed myself tonight so I could come back to you. Or at least that’s what Willow thinks. She’s probably right." Buffy looked in vain for any sort of response from Faith. The other slayer remained silent as always. "I don’t know what good my going on like this is doing but I know that neither one of us is doing very well alone. So for what’s it’s worth I’d like you to come back." Buffy waited and listened for any sound from Faith, hoping that her words would be all it took to make Faith come to. The heart monitor was the only remained the only sound in the room. Giving up, she sighed and leaned a little more towards Faith. Buffy’s fatigue was starting to get the better of her. She knew she should go back to her room but she found herself reluctant to leave. Slowly she drifted off to sleep in the chair.

This Is Not The End
This Is Not The Beginning Of The End
It Is The End Of The Beginning