Review - The Cider House Rules

There seems to be a genre of movie for everyone. There's kiddie movies, there's teen movies, there's guy movies, there's chick movies. But what about "old people movies"? While it's not a specified genre, I think that "old people movies" are a dominant force in the American box office, especially when it comes to the Academy Awards. Many of the Academy voters are, in fact, old people, so it makes perfect sense that the majority of what they vote for are what I classify as "old people movies." An "old people movie" is the only way I can classify The Cider House Rules.

The "old people" genre doesn't have the same rules as the rest of the age genres. The others all have similar ideas: kids movies have kid adventure, teen movies have teen romance, guy movies have macho action, and chick movies have weepy love stories. The "old people movies" don't have any of these binding plot rules, however. So what makes an "old people movie" an "old people movie"? Pacing. "Old people movies" are over two hours in length, always. Cider House is the perfect "old people" length. It also needs to take place in the past and have an epic feel to it.

So it wasn't a surprise to me when the Cider House audience was mainly old people. I'm certain that all of those old people walked out of the theater feeling fufilled. I, on the other hand, not being an old person, felt the film just didn't cut it.

There wasn't a single thing that stood out to me in this movie, and that's the way that the "old people" genre generally comes off to me. I'm not saying that I don't enjoy "old people movies" like Cider House, but they just don't seem to reach me the way they intend to. It's as if the whole movie is screaming "MESSAGE!! THERE IS AN IMPORTANT MESSAGE HERE!!" and I'm just not interested. A few hours after seeing the film, the plot has completely faded away in my memory, as has the message.

I suppose in an "old people" Academy this is a Best Picture, but not in this Academy.

Grade - C

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