I Know What The Boy Bands Did Last Summer...

*** Backstage at an 'N Sync concert - Los Angeles. It's over and 'N Sync is
running from the stage to their tour bus.
Delivery man: Telegram for 'N Sync!
JC: We're 'N Sync! *grabs the telegram and runs onto the tour bus*
Joey: What's that?
JC: I don't know, let's find out! *opens the telegram and reads out loud* I
know what you did two summers ago.
Chris: What does that mean?
Lance: Two summers ago we were in Europe.
Justin: Two summers ago I was four.
JC: Hmmm...wonder who sent this?
Chris: There's no return address.
JC: *tosses the telegram out the window of the bus* Oh, well. I'm sure it's
nothing important.
Lance: Yeah, really. It's not like it's a death threat or anything.
*** 'N Sync laughs maniacally ***

*** Somewhere in America - But NOT Orlando. The BSB are sick of being in
Orlando. They are now doing the Mexican hat dance. ***
Brian: Why are we doing the Mexican hat dance again?
AJ: *shrugs* Does anything we do ever make sense?
Brian: Right.
Howie: How come you all *wink* have had a chance to dance *drool* this magic
sombrero? *wink, drool* I want a turn.
Kevin: No
Howie: *pouting* Why not?
Brian, Nick, Kevin, AJ: *shouting* How many times do we have to tell you???
It's because you're the gay ugly one!!!
Howie: *wink* How could I forget?
*** The phone rings. ***
AJ: *answers it* Hello?
Scary Voice: *cackles* Are you alone in the house?
AJ: Wrong number. We already shot Scream and Scream 2.
Voice: *this time in his normal voice* Dammit. Oh, well, I'll just go back to
prank calling Pizza Hut.
*** AJ hangs up the phone. ***
*** The doorbell rings. ***
Nick: *answers it but there's no one there* Hey, look, it's a letter! And
look at this pretty floral stationery!
Brian, Howie, AJ, Kevin: ........
Kevin: What does it say?
Nick: *reading it* I know what you did two summers ago.
Brian: What does that mean?
AJ: Who knows? Howie do you know?
Howie: How should I *wink* know? I AM *drool* THE GAY UGLY ONE, *wink*
REMEMBER?

*** In Britain, 5ive is doing whatever the hell it is they do all day. ***
J: So what are we doing tonight?
Scott: Don't ask me any questions. It's just my job to sit here and be the
pretty one in the group.
J: Does anyone have any suggestions? Sean?
Abs: Sean doesn't have a larynx, didn't ya know? That's why he never speaks.
He just wears that sweater every day.
*** Sean is checking his e-mail. His computer says, "You've got mail." ***
Richie: Why don't I ever get any e-mail?
Scott: Because no one likes you.
Richie: Oh, right.
Scott: *reading out loud* I know what you 5ive did two summers ago.
J: Who cares what we did two summers ago?
*** They all shrug. ***

---------------------------------------------------------------

AJ: What do you guys think that letter meant?
Nick: What letter?
AJ: .....
Kevin: What exactly did we do two summers ago?
AJ: I forget.
Brian: Shut up, you did weed two summers ago.
AJ: At least I didn't do Rubber Rachel.
Brian: Fuck you.
AJ: I don't jump that way.
Kevin: Shut up!!!
Brian and AJ: Yessir.

-------------------------------------------------------------

Chris: Does anyone remember what we did two summers ago?
Justin: Ah wuz sportin' mah Tommy Hilfiger.
Chris: That doesn't count.
Justin: Damn
Chris: Joey what did you do two summers ago?
Joey: Huh?
Chris: Huh what?
Joey: ...? Huh?
Chris: Dammit Joey!!!! Someone knows what we did two summers ago!!!!!
Joey: OH MY GOD! THAT KID IN THE BATHROOM, I DIDN'T MEAN FOR IT TO HAPPEN, I
SWEAR!!!
*** 'N Sync stares at him blankly. ***
Joey: ...Nevermind.

------------------------------------------------------------

*** Back in Britain - Sean gets another e-mail. ***
Scott: Another e-mail? What does it say?
*** Sean sits there in silence. ***
J: Scott, you dumbass...how could you forget he's mute?
Scott: Oh sorry. *leans over and reads the e-mail.* I still know what you did
two summers ago. If you want to find out what I still know, then catch a
flight to Los Angeles tonight.
Richie: Why not go, for the hell of it? We can solve this mystery and meet
some hot chicks!
Abs: *under his breath* Like any of them wouldn't run away screaming when
they saw you.

-----------------------------------------------------------

*** Back with the BSB. They're still dancing...for some reason. The doorbell
rings again. ***
Kevin: Howie get the door.
Howie: *wink* But I want to dance!
Brian: *impatient* Howie, you have to get the door because-
Howie: *interrupting* I know, because I'm the gay ugly one. Why do I always
have to be the gay ugly one? *wink, drool*
Nick: You can be the winking, drooling one if you want.
Howie: No that's okay, I'd rather be the gay ugly one.
Howie: *answers the door and once again there is no one there* Look, another
letter. *reads it aloud* I still know what you did last summer. If you want
to find out what I still know, then catch a flight to Los Angeles tonight.
AJ: Yeah, let's go to L.A.! Lots of clubs, chicks on every corner...
Brian, Howie, Nick, Kevin: .....
*** The next night all three boy bands are in Los Angeles. They have all
gotten notes to go to an abandoned warehouse later that night.***
***10:00 that night. They all show up to the warehouse.***
'N Sync: Hey look, it's the Backstreet Boys.
BSB: For the love of God, do you have to do EVERYTHING we do?
'N Sync: *points to 5ive* Hey at least we're better than these guys.
5ive: Well at least people don't think we're gay. *pause* Right?
BSB: What are you assholes doing here anyways?
'N Sync: We got a note to come here to find out what we did two summers ago.
5ive: So did we.
BSB: So did we.
'N Sync: Is this some kind of joke?
AJ: If it isn't, this is all Howie's fault.
Abs: Why?
Howie: *wink* Cuz I'm the gay ugly one.
Abs: Oh.
***The lights go out and the doors are all locked.***
Nick: This sucks.
AJ: Thank you for your two cents Nick.
Nick: No problem.
***They see a hooded guy advancing towards them with a hook.***
Kevin: OH FUCK! IT'S THAT GUY!!!
Nick: What guy?
Kevin: The one AJ ran over two summers ago.
Nick: Oh, him.
Justin: *punches AJ* Good going crackhead! Now you're going to get us killed.
AJ: Go bleach your roots kid.
Abs: ...Um, hello?!?!?!
***They all look at Abs.***
Abs: There is a guy with a hook in a black robe standing ten feet away from
us!!!
***Everyone looks at each other.***
All: AHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!! *run*
Guy With the Hook: *runs after them*
***They all run through the warehouse screaming, until they hit the wall on
the other side.***
Chris: Joey, eat through the wall!!!!
***They all look at him***
Guy With the Hook: Muahahahaha I've got you now.
Abs: Um, wy are we here?
Guy With the Hook: Because you ran me over!
Abs: Uh, that was AJ, he's in the Backstreet Boys...we're 5ive.
Guy With the Hook: Your age has nothing to do with this.
Chris: Hey! We're 'N Sync, and we are no part of this!
Guy With the Hook: ...Well, you al suck so I'm going to kill you anyways!
Kevin: Uh, hey wait.
Guy With the Hook: *stops* What?
Kevin: Did it ever occur to you that there are 15 of us and only one of you?
Brian: Uh...yeah!
Guy With the Hook: .... *runs*
Abs: Let's get him!
***They all run after him.***
Guy With the Hook: *runs into his rowboat and rows away from the dock*
AJ: Damn, he's getting away!
Guy With the Hook: Muwahahaha, I'll get you if it's the last thing I do.
***All of the sudden a helicopter fals out of the sky and lands on the
rowboat causing it to explode***
All: ....
AJ: So, now that we are in Los Angeles, let's go see some babes!
All: Yeah!!!

***And so they did, and all got laid except for Howie and Richie.***