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Thug Appeal Auditions Thug Appeal Auditions

I know I'm not alone when I say, why in everything holy did JC do "Bring it All it Me" AKA Thug Appeal, with Blaque? He does not and will not ever, have an ounce of any sort of appeal in him, much less Thug. If anything, I would think it was Joey. Justin's head would just swell up too bad, if he got the solo. Well, I was very curious to find out what process had to occur for someone to make this detrimental decision. Although I like the song, I had to find out HOW it happened.

Setting takes place in Los Angeles, CA at a recording studio where Blaque is recording their last track for the album. They ask NSync to come in and do the song with them, hoping it will catapult their album. The first one to audition for the solo is Chris.

Chris: Hey hey hey! Whazzzzzzzzzzup ladies? Look at my new hat! Hee hee. It says "N Suck". Like NSync, you know but suck instead? Hee hee. Ha ha ha. I am so damn funny, I swear.

Shamari: Hi Chris. Yeaaaaah, nice hat. Well, here's the solo part.

Baby what's the deal?
Would I be too forward if I told you how I feel?
That's just the way I do my thang, so for real
Are you feeling my Timbs, my baggy jeans, my Thug Appeal?
Do you like it when a man can keep it real?

Chris: Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!!! That is real funny, guys. But ya know what's funnier?... ME! Hee hee.

Natina: Hey Chris, tell ya what, guy. If you get the hell outta here right now, I'll buy you the new Busta Rhymes CD, okay?

Chris: Really? Oh boy! Yessssss. Busta is DA MAN. ::walks out singing, "Dangerous"::

Brandi: Ya'll that guy was insane. There is NO way he's doin the solo. Who's the next guy?

Natina: Ummm.. oh here he comes. Hey Joey.

Joey: Hey there baby. Look at you, lookin all fine today. What do you say we get this thing over with so we can get down to business. Yaknowhatimsayin?

Shamari: Joey! I thought I was the one you was hittin, and the ONLY one for that matter!

Brandi: Uh-uh! That's not what he told me last night.

Shamari & Natina: Oh it's on!!!

::Blaque all jump on each other in a brutal cat fight. Weaves and fake nails are flying all over the place.::

Joey: Ladies, ladies, ladies. There is enough of SuperJoe to go around. Let's make it a "Celebration" after the concert tonight, eh?

Brandi: Well I'm down with it if ya'll 2 are.

::The other 2 girls nod their head.::

Shamari: What about the auditions for the solo?

Joey: Oh yeah, that. Actually, hopefully you guys don't get mad, I hope. But I'm not actually interested in it, actually. I actually hopefully came in here, actually to get a hit, hopefully. ::Winks at all of them::

Natina: Whaaaaaaa? So you just wasting our time? Shoooo. Get tcho' Bozo haired, fat Jello-lovin ass outta here and bring in someone who can get to business!

::25 minutes later, Lance comes in:: Lance: Good day, all. I am terribly sorry that I'm late, but I had to get my nails done and my salon was closed, so I had to go to Nick Carter's ALL the way across town. Anyway, I hope you are all having a pleasant day. My friend and fellow bandmate, Joey, informed me that he did not have much luck with the auditions for the solo. I am hoping to have a better time which I'm sure I will, cuz' I'm from Mississippi.

Natina: Hi Lance. Sorry to be so quick, but we gotta get through these auditions pretty fast. So can you just sing this verse, right here? ::Holds up verse with solo on it::

Lance: Alright, sure thang. I'm sure this'll be fine cuz' I'm from Mississippi. "Baby, what is the deal? Would I be too forward if I, told you how I feel--". Um, I really hate to be a bother. But so far, this has had numerous grammamatical errors.

Brandi: Uh yeah, that's how it's supposed to sound. If not then you'd just sound gay *This is not meant to offend anyone who is gay, by the way.*

Lance: ::gets a panicked/offended look on his face:: Hey! Homosexuals are people too. So what if we're--- THEY are a different. Jesus loves me too! And damnit, I just broke a nail!!!

::Runs out of studio, crying.::

Shamari: Oh my goodness. I am getting a major headache. We only have 2 more left, and running out of studio time. Hopefully, these last 2 will be somewhat normal. I'm getting desperate!

::In walks Justin, 2 hours late.::

*WARNING: HEAVY JUSTINISM ABOUT TO HAPPEN RIGHT HERE.*

Justin: Wassssssssup, ya'lls? How you been all up in dis ghetto town? Ah feel right at home here on da westside. I gets tah kick it wit mah homies. And I be pimpin all up and down dis joint.

Brandi: Who the HELL do you think you are, walking in here 2 hours late?!?!

Justin: Yo yo. Keep yo panties on, woman. I was in da Benz cruisin down Crenshaw mackin on da fly honnies. Cuz I know dey be wantin some o dis. Ah am so fly. Shooo, it must be a sin to look dis good. Word.

Shamari: Awww hell no. You ain't even black boy, so don't try be. You are whiter than white. So "bounce" your way outta here, Vanilla Ice. Because I am getting a headache from you.

Justin: Shoot. Dat ain't even right. Why you gotta be hatin? Aw dang, well I gotsta bounce anyways. Ah'm gonna gets me some Fubu jerseys and a new 20 lbs. necklace. Peace ya'll.

Natina: Uhhh! That's it! I don't even care anymore!! Whoever that's left is doint the solo. Period. I don't care if friggin Lou does it! I'm sick of this.

Brandi: I know, girl. Let's just give it to JC. And HOPEFULLY he has some sort of thug appeal so we don't sound stupid. Let's go.

::Blaque leaves the studio and gives the tape to NSync's management for JC to dub on his part.::

So now ya know, folks. JC wasn't picked for the solo because of his voice, or skill or ANY sort of appeal. It was merely process of elimination that got him the part. God help us all.

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