The Kids
These are my babies. Floyd and I worked hard to raise them well, and I believe they turned out to be the best damned kitties they could be.
Deez is Floyd’s pookie. He is a pimp. He was adopted when he was just a weeeeeeee little baby, and he’s now a big panther. What is especially cute about Deez is his deodorant. Although he’s a black, black cat, Deez has white armpits. He also has a white bikini. Floyd wanted to name the kitty something Japanese (word up to all my homies in the hizzie!), but Damon and some other theatre people insisted upon Deez. Floyd was constantly finding ways to cleverly work in “deez nutz in yo mouth” in every situation. We felt it was only appropriate.
Although Deez is neutered, he is a savage beast with all the ladies. Savage in that… passive aggressive sorta way. All the women want his hot bod, and he just walks away. That bastard. Floyd did say that Deez finally got it on with Data (see below), and that made me (and Data for that matter) happy.
Oh yes. I do believe this is one hot pussy. This is my one and only true feline love – Ophelia. I named her after the Shakespeare character, yes. Her nickname is Faye (like the Cowboy Bebop character). No one calls her that. I call her “hi kitty.” Our dialogue goes like this:
Me: Hi kitty!
HiKitty: Mew! [Said in high-pitched squeaky tone]
Me: Awww, you’re cute! [Also in high-pitched squeaky tone]
HiKitty: Why, so are you!
And so it goes on.
I got her from “L.I.F.E. Animal Rescue” at Petsmart when she was about 1 ˝ years old. She was my second choice. I wanted “Dutchess” but the lady said I couldn’t have her because she wasn’t good with other cats. So I was like “whatever, I do what I want” and got “Jayla” (my kitty). I picked her cuz she was sleeping in her litter box and I thought that was funny. First night home, she peed on the bed.
Data, Data, Data. Although named after the Star Trek character, she is anything but an android. She’s…. a cat. Duh. Floyd worked at Whole Foods and Data was a stray young kitty that resided in that shopping center. She was fed by the old men that sat outside the doughnut shop, and lived her wild, big-eyed kitty life happily. Floyd developed a crush on her cute calico face and started to feed her canned kitty chow on his breaks. Data was a scaredy cat and never got close to anyone… until she one day ran into a shop and was captured.
In the same shopping center was an animal hospital, so they kept her there, and finally Floyd got to take her home. She’d been a stray all her life (she was about 6 months old when we got her) and was psycho. Our cats hated her, she hated everything. At first she just hid all the time, but then she got comfy and slept in the bathroom sink. She was the only one of our cats that hadn’t been fixed, and boy, what a whore. She tried to get on Deez all the time, and my cat hated her. Actually, things haven’t changed all that much. If anyone wants a tiny calico kitty, please email me and I’ll happily ship her to you. : P
Mouse doesn’t really count. He’s not ours. Floyd and I used to live with some of his friends, and Shawna had a baby grey tabby. This kitty never grew up. He stayed kitten-sized forever. He was always a whore for attention (kinda like Data), and loved being loved. He and Deez were pals. Even though Mouse isn’t our kitty, we still feel like he is a part of our kitty clan.
