Some real answers to tests given in California Remedial Traffic Schools:
Q: Do you yield when a blind pedestrian is crossing the road?
A: What for? He can't see my license plate.
Q: Who has the right of way when four cars approach a four-way stop
at the same time?
A: The pick up truck with the gun rack and the bumper sticker saying "Guns don't kill people. I do."
Q: What are the important safety tips to remember when backing up inyour car?
A: Always wear a condom.
Q: When driving through fog, what should you use?
A: Your car.
Q: How can you reduce the possibility of having an accident?
A: Be too s--- faced to find your keys.
Q: What problems would you face if you were arrested for drunk driving?
A: I'd probably lose my buzz a lot faster.
Q: What changes would occur in your lifestyle if you could no longer drive lawfully?
A: I would be forced to drive unlawfully.
Q: What is the difference between a flashing red traffic light and a flashing yellow traffic light?
A: The color.
Q: How do you deal with heavy traffic?
A: Heavy psychedelics.
Q: What can you do to help ease a heavy traffic problem?
A: Carry loaded weapons.
I've had 2 By-pass surgeries. A hip replacement, new knees.Fought
prostate cancer, and diabetes. I'm half blind, can't hearanything
quieter than a jet engine, take 40 different medications thatmake me
dizzy, winded, and subject to blackouts.Have bouts with dementia.
Have poor circulation, hardly feel my hands and feet anymore.Can't
remember if I'm 85 or 92. Have lost all my friends.
But.....Thank God, I still have my ~~state you are from~~ driver's license!
