I've learned that you cannot make someone love you. All you can do is stalk them and hope they panic and give in.
I've learned that no matter how much I care, some people are just jerks.
I've learned that it takes years to build up trust, and it only takes suspicion, not proof, to destroy it.
I've learned that you shouldn't compare yourself to others ---they are more screwed up than you think.
I've learned that you can keep puking long after you think you're finished.
I've learned that we are responsible for what we do, unless we are celebrities.
I've learned that regardless of how hot and steamy a relationship is at first, the passion fades, and there had better be a lot of money to take its place.
I've learned that sometimes the people you least expect to kick you when you're down will be the ones who do.
I've learned that we don't have to ditch bad friends, because their dysfunction makes us feel better about ourselves.
I've learned that the people you care most about in life are taken from you too soon and all the less important ones just never go away.
I've learned that no matter how lousy the day is, one really funny e-mail can change it!
We cannot see the future. We cannot change the past. We can only live in the now with an eye towards gaining enough power in the future to wreak revenge on everyone who ever screwed us in the past.
Dreaming frees the soul, energizes the spirit and allows you to do things that would get your butt thrown in jail if you really tried them.
Love means never having to say, "Does that twenty include the spanking?"
To truly love another, you must first love yourself. And it wouldn't kill you to wash your hands in between either.
A little bit of love goes a long way in our lives. It can provide us with higher highs and lower lows. But, if it comes with a persistent burning sensation, see your physician.
When it becomes a crime to love, you should probably consider dating outside the family.
If Life hands you lemons today, smile and give thanks. Then when Life isn't looking, squirt the juice in his eyes and give him a quick knee to the groin. That'll learn him.
They say a smile is a gift which is free to the giver and precious to the recipient. But giving the finger is free, too, and I find it more personal and sincere.
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