We have all learned to live with voice mail as a necessary part
of modern life.
But have you wondered, what if God decided to
install voice mail?
Imagine praying and hearing this:
Thank you for calling My Father's House. Please select one of
the following options:
Press 1 for requests
Press 2 for thanksgiving
Press 3 for complaints
Press 4 for all other inquiries
For English, Press 1. For Spanish, press 2. For all other languages, press 0.
What if God used the familiar excuse... "I'm sorry, all of our
angels are busy helping other sinners right now. However, your
prayer is important to us and will answered in the order it was
received, so please stay on the line."
Can you imagine getting these kinds of responses as you call
God in prayer? If you would like to speak to:
Gabriel, Press 1
Michael, Press 2
For a directory of other Angels, Press 3
If you would like to hear King David sing a psalm while you
hold, please Press 4
To find out if a loved one has been assigned to Heaven, Press 5,
enter his or her Social Security number, then press the pound
key. (If you get a negative response, try area code 666.)
For reservations at "My Father's House" please enter J-O-H-N
followed by 3-1-6.
For answers to nagging questions about dinosaurs, the age of
the earth, and where Noah's Ark is, please wait until you
arrive here.
Our computers show that you have already prayed once today.
Please hang up and try again tomorrow.
This office is closed for the weekend to observe a religious
holiday. Please pray again Monday after 9:30 AM. If you need
emergency assistance when this office is closed, contact your
local pastor.
