HUMOR

Dates from the Dark Side? 


I am involved in an activity that rivals drug dealing and serial killing. Maybe worse. I am a man who meets and actually DATES women on the ....Internet. I can just hear the gasps from you now! Please try to be a little more subtle in your response. Thank you. 

Talk about STIGMAS! Any time I mention the fact that I met a woman on the internet, I get responses from the average person like, "You actually MEET them in person to EEEWWWWWWWWWWW!" I find this really interesting. I guess there are three types of human beings on this planet: Normal people, people who live in West Virginia and internet LOSERS! It makes me want to dissolve my keyboard in boric acid. And check into rehab somewhere. Geesh! 

The funny thing is that most of us have gone on a blind date. If not that, then we have had dates "arranged" by a mutual friend. Or we talk to someone on the phone who works for someone we shop with and a date is arranged. But, those are okay. Why? Well, they are ....uh....different than the PERVERTED underground mole people of the dark-sided, evil empire dwelling......INTERNET! 

No, they are not different. People are people. There are emotionally healthy individuals on the net just as there are in a church singles group. And there are psychotic people on the net just like there are on a church PASTORAL staff! So, you can find BOTH types anywhere. And I have! Most of the women I meet online are simply to busy or too shy to go to a bar or a singles group and hustle someone. The other women I meet will probably take Master Card or Visa.... 

My first internet date here in Southern California was last October. I met a nice lady who agreed to come to my house and from there we would go to dinner. I stood in the driveway waiting for her much like I was waiting for the pizza delivery guy. The difference was I was not going to get Canadian bacon and pineapple, but a real LIVE human being! I suddenly felt chills. This was not mail-order Barbie, this was the real deal! As each car passed I wondered if I had the made the right decision. Since I am a risk-taker feeling all this, I could only imagine what SHE must have been feeling as drove to meet me! It was pretty tense. As it turned out, we had a nice dinner and remained friends for several months. I think she is now dating some guy from Ohio she met through her work. I hope he is not an ax murderer...You never KNOW about those guys you meet at work. I mean look at what happened in Atlanta last week or in Alabama this week or in the AVERAGE post office! I will take my chances on the net. I have rarely heard of a mass murderer springing from THAT place of origin. 

I have met lovely ladies from Austin to Kansas City. I have gone out with women from New York to San Diego. Two nights ago I went to dinner with one of the most beautiful women I have ever met and we ate Chinese food. She showed me a personal picture of Elvis Presley whom she had met many years ago. I wonder if HE realized he was hanging out with a future internet WOMAN! Of course, she is more stable than he ever was... 

The key to Internet Dating is to BE CAREFUL! Don't give out your phone number to just anyone and have some information on the person you are meeting, if possible. And always meet in a safe place, like my shower. 

Eventually, I will marry a woman I meet on the Internet. I just feel this will happen. My daughter goes crazy when I tell her I met a new woman on the net because she of course, is NORMAL compared to the whacko's online. But, I quickly remind her that I met her mom on a blind date and look how that turned out... 

We got divorced. 

So, from now on, only internet beauties for me. 

If she has basic typing skills and a vivid imagination.....she is my kind of gal! I just have to make sure when we get married to make sure her computer is set up online... 

So, we can talk everyday... 




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More Humor From Pat Hurley

Show me the MONEY! 

That Sunday, That Summer 

Jump Starting the Kids! 

A Night for the Ages 

Bachelor Boy!

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Copyright©PJ Hurley August 7, 1999