Temptation
"Watch and pray, lest you enter into temptation. The spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak."
Matt 26:41
A father and his 12-year-old son, browsing through the shelves of a video store, came to the section titled "Mature." It was filled with "soft core" pornography from Playboy and Penthouse.
Almost instantly the son put his hand over his dad's eyes. The father faced a moment of decision. I watched from the "Westerns" wondering what kind of values this dad would transfer to his son.
The father gently pushed his son's hand away and continued making his selections. The son looked up at his father, then he too turned his gaze to the videos. Together they shared a moment of lust.
THE FIGHT OF YOUR LIFE
I'm all too familiar with what was happening there. I know that for me and many men the toughest fight of our lives is the temptation of pornography.
It's a temptation that crosses racial, social, and economic lines. And its seduction comes in all forms--TV, cable, movies, phone, magazines, the Internet, and often women's fashions.
I know that pornography damages and eventually destroys individuals, marriages, and families. But I also know that you don't have to be crushed by giving in to lust, and you don't have to pass it on to your sons. The battle can be won, but we must be prepared...and be willing to fight!
SURROUNDED? YES. HOPELESS? NO!
While we may be surrounded, no man is without hope. The Bible says that "No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; He will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, He will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it"
(1 Corinthians 10:13).
In other words, when it comes to temptation you're not alone. And being tempted in itself is not a sin; it's giving in that's sinful. Along with any temptation, God provides a built-in escape route!
It's critical that you memorize that verse and keep it in mind when the battle lines are drawn, because your mind is where the battle begins!
NINE STEPS TO FREEDOM
Now, let me share with you the steps that God has used in my life to make the difference...
FEED - I have hidden Your word in my heart that I might not sin against You.
Psalm 119:11
We cannot fight effectively if we're not feeding on the Word of God. When Jesus was tempted by Satan, He didn't yield--He quoted Scripture! Treasure God's Word. Read your Bible daily to gain insights for godly living and to know God more intimately. A well-fed man is stronger in a fight!
FOLLOW - Let us fix our eyes on Jesus....Consider Him who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.
Hebrews 12:2-3
We can't follow unless we keep our eyes on Christ and away from temptation. If we do things His way, we won't falter.
FAITHFULLY PRAY - Like Jesus taught His disciples, we should always pray and not give up
(Luke 18:1).
Men are often brought to their knees after a losing battle with temptation, but we need to pray daily for God's protection and enablement before the battle begins.
One other thing...when you truly confess your sins--even involving pornography--to God, you are forgiven. Whether or not you feel forgiven, God declares that you are: If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins (1 John 1:9). Take Him at His word and press on. Otherwise feelings of guilt will cripple your progress.
FALL IN LOVE - A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies.
Proverbs 31:10
If you're married, your responsibility is to be absolutely committed to your wife and to treasure her. It's the best antidote for the poison of pornography. Tell her often that you love her and show it daily by your care for her.
What you cherish about her has to be more than skin deep--"It should be that [beauty] of [her] inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight" (1 Peter 3:4). Fall in love with the qualities she has that some computer or video artist can't enhance.
FELLOWSHIP - As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another.
Proverbs 27:17
Find another Christian man or a small group of guys to be accountable to, guys that you feel safe with who can keep confidences Proverbs 11:13, 17:9). Ask each other personal questions regularly about spiritual growth and well-being, including weaknesses. Encourage each other in righteous living (Hebrews 10:19-25).
FILE - Let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles.
Hebrews 12:1
Did you ever lose a battle buying pornography in a convenience store or renting a movie in some "mom and pop" store? Make a mental file of places where you lost or began to lose battles, then stay away from them. That mental file may also include certain movies that you never need to see again.
FLEE - Flee the evil desires of youth, and pursue righteousness, faith, love and peace, along with those who call on the Lord out of a pure heart.
2 Timothy 2:22
Isn't it interesting that God did not tell us to stand and fight the lusts that have dogged us from our youth? Don't gaze, don't gawk, don't give in. Get away!
FORESEE - Clothe yourselves with the Lord Jesus Christ, and do not think about how to gratify the desires of the sinful nature.
Romans 13:14
Anticipate possible trouble spots and avoid them. Be very practical. If you think a store sells porn, don't go in. Stay out of places that sell or rent "adult" videos. And those billboards that advertise "gentlemen's clubs"...there's no better time to keep your eyes on the road!
For you men who travel, don't be surprised if your hotel offers "adult" movies. Have the channels turned off at the desk when you check in, before you ever step into the room. I know of a guy who had the TV removed from his room when they couldn't block the porn channels!
If cable TV tempts you at home, drop it or have your cable company block the offending channels. Have the phone company block calling to 900 numbers (ask for blocking at hotels, too).
The point is, if pornography of any kind is accessible, you are just one weak moment away from defeat. Don't walk into mine fields!
FORTIFY - Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable--if anything is excellent or praiseworthy--think about such things.
Philippians 4:8
It is hard to lust when you fill your mind with wonderful things. But many men make it fine until their family is asleep. The battle gets more intense after dark--Internet porn and phone sex lines flourish between 9 PM and 1 AM. It's one of Satan's favorite times to look "for someone to devour" (1 Peter 5:8).
Do wholesome things to avoid giving in to whatever tempts you. "Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good" (Romans 12:21). If you're married, you may need to start a practice of praying with your wife before bedtime, and then turning in when she does.
We fortify our position as we discipline our minds and rely on God's Spirit, the Helper within each Christian (John 14:15-17). Trust God to give you the proper motivation (Philippians 2:13) as you pray, study God's Word, attend church, and fellowship with other believers.
CALL 311
We train children to dial 911 in case of emergencies. Such a call is good advice when men face "sexual" emergencies, too. That's when we need to dial 311-Job 31:1: "I made a covenant with my eyes not to look lustfully at a girl."
Make that covenant not to look upon things that will tempt you. Memorize Scripture to call on when tempted (see "Good Verses for Bad Times"). And since God promises to provide an escape when temptation calls (James 1:13-15), be looking for it.
One day we will pass the torch to our sons and other younger men we may influence. Will it be a torch of righteousness or of lust? The entire life of a young boy may have been set on a course of pornography in that video store simply because his father had already given in to lust.
Men, we're in the fight of our lives. Real men don't use porn! It's time for us to claim the victory that Jesus Christ offers.
SOMETHING TO CONSIDER
There are no steps to ultimate freedom from sexual sins or any other sins without a right relationship with God. If you are outside that relationship, partial victory will be the best you can hope for.
It's our sinfulness that not only separates us from knowing God, but also earns us all an eternal destiny in hell forever shut out of His presence. The Bible clearly states that "all have sinned" and "the wages of sin is death" (Romans 3:23, 6:23a).
Thankfully, God was not willing to leave us in that condemned state. Jesus Christ, God's Son, became a man, lived a perfect life--never giving in to any temptation--and then died to take the punishment we deserved for our sins. "God demonstrates His own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us" (Romans 5:8). Then He rose to life again three days later!
For those who truly believe that Jesus died as their substitute and that no other way will satisfy God's justice, God promises forgiveness and eternal life- "the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord" (Romans 6:23b).
Heaven will be wonderful, but that new, eternal life begins the moment you truly believe in Jesus Christ as your Substitute and Savior from sin's penalty. "Whoever believes in the Son has eternal life" (John 3:36). From that moment on God actually makes Himself available to help each believer resist temptation and live a life that pleases Him.
Here is a prayer that can guide you if you'd like to place your trust in Christ for forgiveness of sin and to receive eternal life:
"Dear God, I realize that there's no way I can measure up to Your standards for being good enough. I admit my sinfulness. I know there's no other way to be forgiven than by believing that Jesus substituted Himself for me and died to take the punishment my sins deserved. I do believe that with my whole heart.
"I need Your help now to face life from this new point of view. Thank You for Your promise of eternal life to all who believe in Your Son Jesus."
GOOD VERSES FOR BAD TIMES
Here are several verses that would be valuable for you to memorize. The Lord can then use them to help you overcome temptation and to encourage you in righteous living--
"I have hidden Your word in my heart that I might not sin against You"
(Psalm 119:11)
"I made a covenant with my eyes not to look lustfully at a girl."
Job 31:1
"Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. Resist him, standing firm in the faith, because you know that your brothers throughout the world are undergoing the same kind of sufferings."
1 Peter 5:8-9
"Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable--if anything is excellent or praiseworthy--think about such things."
Philippians 4:8
"Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus."
Philippians 3:13-14
"Clothe yourselves with the Lord Jesus Christ, and do not think about how to gratify the desires of the sinful nature."
Romans 13:14
"No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; He will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, He will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it."
1 Corinthians 10:13
"Flee the evil desires of youth, and pursue righteousness, faith, love and peace, along with those who call on the Lord out of a pure heart."
2 Timothy 2:22
"When tempted, no one should say, "God is tempting me." For God cannot be tempted by evil, nor does He tempt anyone; but each one is tempted when, by his own evil desire, he is dragged away and enticed. Then, after desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, gives birth to death."
James 1:13-15
"Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us.
Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before Him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider Him who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart."
Hebrews 12:1-3
"If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness."
1 John 1:9
All Scripture quotations are from the New International Version of the Bible.
STRENGTHENING YOUR WALL OF DEFENSE AGAINST SEXUAL TEMPTATION
Some "bricks" for your wall...
CONFESS - First, ask God for His forgiveness, confessing your sin against Him
(Genesis 39:9, Psalm 51, 1 John 1:9).
RECOGNIZE - Recognize that sin--lust in particular--will never be satisfied. It's the Law of Diminishing Returns: "...they have given themselves over to indecency for the practice of every kind of impurity with greediness"
(Ephesians 4:19).
REALIZE - Realize that sex is God's creation, and that lust and pornography are Satan's traps to rob you of God's perfect plan. Thank God for your sexuality, and ask the Lord for the strength to honor Him with it
(1 Thessalonians 4:3-5,7).
TIME - Spend quality time with the Lord in the Word and in prayer
(Psalm 119:9-10).
MEMORIZE - Memorize Scripture = Renew Your Mind!
(Psalm 119:11, Romans 12:1-2).
ACCOUNTABILITY - Institute an accountability relationship with a male friend, giving him "permission" to regularly ask you the "hard questions," like "Have you looked at anything inappropriate since we last talked?"
(Proverbs 27:17).
MENTOR - Ask an older, mature, Christian man, to mentor you as you seek to resist temptation, and honor God with your sexuality
(Titus 2:2,6-8).
SUBMIT - Submit to God daily (James 4:7-8), so that you will honor Him in what you view (Job 31:1, Psalm 101:3). This is a battle that is fought daily. Temptation will come (James 1:13-15), will you be ready to withstand it?
SURROUND - Surround yourself with friends who will encourage you towards godliness
(1 Corinthians 15:33, 2 Thessalonians 3:6).
OPEN - Don't log onto the Internet if you are the only one around. Even then, be sure that your monitor faces the door, and leave your door open
(1 Corinthians 10:13).
FILTER - Install a pornography filtering program on your computer, and ask someone else to hold the password. Realize that no filtering program can protect you from all that is on the Internet. This is only a tool, a "brick" in your wall of defense.
DISCERN - Use godly discernment in your choice of TV, videos, and movies. There is no excuse for not knowing what will be in a movie...Check out www.screenit.com (1 Corinthians 2:15, Ephesians 5:15-17).
MUSIC - Listen to music that will strengthen your "wall"...not chip away at it (Ephesians 5:19-20, Philippians 4:8).
DISCIPLINE - You are in a battle for your eyes and mind! Satan cannot have your soul, but he can steal the "joy of your deliverance" (Psalm 51:12), if you allow him to by being easy prey (1 Peter 5:8). As in any competition, discipline is the key (Titus 2:11-12).
PLEASE - There is nothing magical about it. The bottom line is this...Do you desire to please God more than you desire temporary sinful gratification? That is a question only you can answer, and it will be answered by more than your lips... it will be answered by your actions (John 15:14).
We have made resisting temptation some mystical, unreachable, unattainable, talent reserved either for the very old or the very pious. Baloney! Saying "no" is something all of us who belong to Christ can do and must do! There's nothing magical about it. You simply put Jesus Christ at the helm of your life and say "No!" Charles R. Swindoll
A CHECKLIST OF CONSEQUENCES
Along with reviewing Scripture, it helps to review the consequences of using porn. Here's a checklist to go to when you are feeling vulnerable to pornography's temptation.
Involvement with pornography...
1. Grieves the Lord who redeemed me: one day I'll have to look Him in the face and give an account of my actions.
2. Brings great pleasure to Satan, the enemy of God and of all that is good.
3. Inflicts untold hurt on my best friend--my loyal wife--losing her respect and trust.
4. Forms memories and flashbacks that could plague future intimacy with my wife.
5. Destroys my example and credibility with my children, and hinders my efforts to teach them to obey God.
6. Brings shame upon and hurt to my family and my friends, especially those in my church.
7. Creates guilt that's hard to shake, influencing my actions and attitudes.
Home
