Honeymoon's Over
Phoebe (about Piper)-She has to know she's left us one sister short of the power of three. So, while she's up rompin' around in the clouds with Leo, we've got our Wiccan butts flappin' around in the wind here!
(Prue tries to kill Guardian unsuccessfully)
Phoebe-Didn't the book say they were just like vampires?
Prue-I may have misread that part...
Phoebe-What?!?!?
Phoebe-Ok, if Piper comes back I'm gonna kill her!
(Phoebe not wanting to lie to the police) (She sees Cole)
Cole-Ladies, my name is Cole Turner. I'm the Assitant District Attorney assigned to this case. I was wondering if either of you say what happened here?
Phoebe(raises her hand enthusiastically)-I did!!
Phoebe (in trial)-I'm nervous.
Prue-Oh you know witches in trial...it's that whole Salem thing.
Phoebe-Isn't it more important to keep a killer off the streets that to protect our secret?
Phoebe-All I know is that Cole is an angel. He was awesome in that courtroom.
Prue-See something you like sis?
Phoebe-Maybe...or maybe it's just nice to run into someone that's not a college boy. More years, less hormones...
Prue-Not a bad butt, either...
Phoebe-Which is why I'm now going to kick Piper's ass. (grabs keys and heads for door)
(Prue slams door shut with powers)
Phoebe-OK, we have had this conversation before. You aren't allowed to use your active power on me until I have an active power to use on you, remember??
Cole (holding Phoebe's leg)-Nice calf...
Phoebe-Ummm...can I have it back?
Phoebe (running down steps of P3)-I have got to get a cell phone!
(Phoebe still mad at Piper)
Piper-Who's Cole? What did you do to your hair?
Phoebe-I'm sorry, do I know you?
Phoebe-And no orbing!
Cole (After being attacked)-Phoebe, what are you doing here? What happened?
Phoebe-I think I'm going to plead that fifth on that one...
Leo (alone in bathroom)-I look at you and I think how lucky I am. I mean I can't stop looking at you. You're my dream come true. You're my Rays Amedetra. Everytime I see you I love you even more. You're so beautiful. You're so special. I can't imagine my life without you. (Piper walks in) Piper?!?
Piper-Leo, who were you talking to?
Leo-Me? Oh nobody...just myself...
Piper-You were telling yourself how much you love you?
Cole-Get anything out of him?
Morris-Nope, not talking.
Cole-Yeah, it seems to be an epidemic.
Phoebe(jumps on Piper)-Do you wanna be alone?
Piper-No, but it looks like I'm gonna be.
Phoebe-You and Leo have the kind of love girls dream about. I know I dream about it. How about you?
Prue-All the time.
Piper-So, why'd you color your hair?
Phoebe-Because I wanted to change my luck.
Phoebe-Ok, this was your idea you know.
Prue-Ok, so sue me.
Prue-Are you ready? One...two...don't hold my hand!
Phoebe-Something good happened. Can't you just accept that?
Cole-It's not in my nature.
Piper-Last night in that court room, for a minute there I didn't think I was going to make it. That that's it. And that's when I realized I don't wanna die without ever have been married to you. The answer is yes Leo. I'd love to marry you!
Magic Hour
(Leo orbs in)
Phoebe (shouts)-Leo!!
Leo-Shhh!!
Phoebe (whispers)-Leo!
Leo-I hate to be the barrer of bad news...
Piper-Could you possibly be the barrer of a big hug?
Leo-No, not after what I just found out.
Prue-But rules were meant to be broken.
Phoebe-But bodies weren't.
Piper-And neither were hearts.
Piper-Kit! Let that alone!
Phoebe-Bad kitty!
(Owl morphs into a naked man)
Prue (with devilish grin)-Good kitty!
Phoebe-If I had a dollar for every time an owl turned into a hot guy on our porch I'd be ri...(Piper covers her mouth)
Piper-We've seen worse.
Piper-Yes, but we have to find a way to hide the www...rutebega...before they catch on...
Prue-The rutabega?
Piper-It's a code word for the thing we aren't supposed to talk about.
(Phoebe winking at Prue, but Prue is puzzled)
Piper-Dum dum da-dum..Dum Dum DA-DUM!
Prue-Oh!! The rutabega!
Phoebe-I'm fully aware that we're supposed to protect the innocent. These are the rules that we live by now. I'm just not so sure that we should be helping Piper break them.
Phoebe-I don't get it. If our ancient compilation of spells and witchcraft and rituals can't help us, what makes you think Martha Stewart can?
Piper-If you didn't think I should have a rutabega you should have said so maybe.
Cole-Ding, ding. Back to your corners.
Cole-Phoebe...and??
Phoebe-Uh...
Piper-Piper.
Phoebe-Assistand District Attorney we have to stop meeting like this.
Cole-You better be careful. A guy might think he's being followed.
Piper-You'd better be careful or a girl mught think her sister's getting a really cheasy pickup line.
(Piper goes to pay for books)
Cole-So, who's the lucky guy? Or more importantly who's the lucky sister?
Piper-Me...me..Mimi. Our cousin Mimi...
Phoebe-Good ol' cousin Mimi.
Piper-Love her.
Cole-Well, I should probably get going. I sorta got plans to accidentally bump into another eye witness over at the gas incepts.
Phoebe-Cute.
Cole-I get cuter.
Demon-Christopher, I'm impressed. In our time apart you've gone and discovered courage.
Christopher-Yeah would you like to borrow some?
Demon-No thanks, I'm trying to cut down. I have to say I'm a bit surprised you managed to come so close. Now to self, chat with security.
Piper-And Phoebe almost got lucky right there in the store.
Phoebe-I'm afraid that you're not afraid of getting hurt.
Piper-I've been through more pain in the past two years then you can imagine and this in the only way to stop that.
Phoebe-I think that this looks like the place sort of.
Piper-That's funny. I remember it looking like the place sort of three hours ago!
Phoebe-If you wanted a supernatural low jack you came to the wrong witch.
Piper-I swear to God, I've seen this in a movie somewhere.
Phoebe to Piper-Wanna take a Wiccan time out and do the crossword puzzle?
Brooke-You keep asking yourself...
Piper-Shouldn't love conquer all?
Prue-What love won't conquer we will.
Piper-I know I could use a happy ending.
Demon (kills bowman)-Cleanup, aisle 2.
Phoebe-Anything, anything. I curse you, you curse me. Let's get together and do a little cursing..
Phoebe to Grams-That's no fair. You have afterlife advantages!
Phoebe to Grams-What is her and Leo get rutabega..ed and "they" find out and something horrible happens to them. I mean look what happened to mom and her...special friend...
Grams-Logic and reason go out the window when love gets involved.
Grams-I remember the lonliness all too well.
Phoebe-Grams, you were married four times!
Grams-When the time comes for them to make it official, they'll feel it. They'll know...
Piper(arrowed to wall)-A little help here please!
Cole-1329 Prescott Street. (Phoebe confused) On the receipt...In the bag...it was in there...That sounded much better in my head.
Phoebe to Cole-My sister kind of got into it today so the place is a disaster. It's looks like a bomb went off...so, if you don't mind waiting here...
Cole (wipes off hand after shaking Leo's hand)-Whiteliters always were messy...
(Leo standing behind Piper but she doesn't know)
Piper-Did you eve think, did you ever consider that maybe it wasn't meant to be? I mean things happen for a reason, right? Maybe it's not worth the risk to be together.
Brooke-If you don't take the risk for love, what do you take it for?
(Leo storms out of house)
Demon-I may be cheap, but I'm not easy. Wait, yes I am! You're only doing this to saved him aren't you? That's ok...
Piper-I don't feel so...
Prue-What is it?
Piper-I don't have a good feeling about this. Wait a minute. I take that back. I do have a good feeling about it...about something...I feel all warm and fuzzy.
Prue-Is it your stomach.
Piper-No, it's right here (points to heart)
Phoebe-When the time is right you'll-Oh my god! The time is right!
Once Upon a Time
Prue-Piper, watch what you say.
Piper-Why? They couldn't hurt me anymore than they already have.
Phoebe(driving Prue's car home when car phone rings)-Don't you just love cell phones?
Prue-Hey, uh, it's me.
Phoebe-It's amazing how much stress you can project in so few words, Prue. I will have your precious car home momentarily.
Piper-C'mon Phoebe. Trolls and fairies? You don't believe that stuff?
Phoebe-Sure, why not?
Piper-Well, maybe it's time we told her about Santa.
Piper-Why are you being so stubborn about this?
Phoebe-Because I'm a scorpio, what's your excuse?
Prue-Ok, so it's sort of late and we're all a little bit tired, so how about we finish this up tomorrow?
Phoebe-Now look what you did. You went and turned Prue into the middle child.
Phoebe to Piper-I don't want to be outstubborned by a Gemini!
Piper-It's your lawyer boyfriend.
Phoebe(hands Piper fairy drawings)-There. And he's not my boyfriend.
Cole (on phone)-Who's not your boyfriend?
Phoebe-Oh ummm...the mailman...ummm...yeah...Sometimes Piper likes to tease me because I like to get the mail...a lot...So...how are you?
Cole-Well, it's a beautiful morning and I got a beautiful woman on the phone. So, things oculd be worse. God, I sound like Billy Applebee.
(Phoebe and Prue on stage singing)
Abbey to Piper-You think this is bad? You should have been here for Frere Jacques. They have been acting like kids since they got here. I didn't serve them, I swear.
Piper-Lost your minds?
Prue-Piper, we've been waiting and waiting.
Phoebe-And you what we did?? We saw a fairy and she was very cute and she was sparkly and she was really, really pretty!
Piper (freezes club)-What ass-backwards spell did you guys cast?
Prue-We didn't cast a spell.
Phoebe-No, it is true we did not cast a spell but we did use fairy dust!
Piper-Fairy dust? Ok, great, so you can go home and reverse it Tinkerbell.
Phoebe-No...no...no...I'm not a fairy.
Phoebe to Piper-You know what? You're being a big, big big, estra, estra, estra double big jerk right now!
Phoebe-Geese louise! There's too many doorways in this house!
Phoebe-Ummm...'scuse me but you were not supposed to meet me here. You were supposed to meet me at the club, 'member?
Cole-Was that the plan?
Phoebe-Yes, that was the plan.
Cole-It's a long drive home and I was wondering, could I use the restroom?
Phoebe-Number one or number two?
Prue-He has to go tootie!
Prue-Stairs can be...sobering...
Phoebe-That's why you're the older sister. You're always thinking!
Piper(on phone)-Need a diaper change?
Phoebe-Very funny but we need you to come home right away, by midnight or else...
Piper-Or else the tooth fairy will come harrass us all for not flossing?
Piper-Son of a !
Piper-You'd better run while you can you little rodents!
Piper to TPTB-I bet you guys think this is really funny, don't ya? Haven't you taken enough from me? You have to send TROLLS to KICK me while I'm down?? I had a nice normal life once. And you took that from me. You took my boyfriend, you took my life. The least you could do is leave me my fricken car keys! I'm a good person. I'm a good witch. And damn it I would have made a great wife. And how dare you take that from me? I deserve...no...you know what? I demand that you send him back to me. I'm gonna STAND in this very spot until you send Leo back to me!
Phoebe (directly after casting Prue's spell)-Prue, you have really got to lay off the rhyming.
Piper-First troll I see is in big trouble.
Piper-What are they doing?
Prue-It's looks like they are trying to start a fire although I don't really think it's for roasting marshmallows.
Piper to Kate-You know what I think I kind of know how you're feeling. When someone you love goes away it doesn't make any sense and you feel like the whole world is out to get you. But you know what? Your mom and dad didn't split up to hurt you. Things just happen. Things that you may never understand. But just have to believe that it's for the best, even if it doesn't always seem that way. Remember how sad you were when you daddy left? Well, that's how sad everyone's gonna be if you don't come home.
Piper-Marriage is hard enough, you know. But marriage to a whiteliter...he's gotta orb out at all times of the night. And sometimes he's gone for weeks at a time. But honestly if I'm gonna have a meltdown everytime I have no idea where he is than none of us will be able to do our jobs. And if we had lost htat little girl tonight...
Phoebe-But we didn't.
Piper-But we could have and I don't think that I could live with that. If that means I have to give up Leo then I guess that's a sacrifice I'm willing to make.
Phoebe-Are you worried?
Prue-When are you going to learn? I'm always worried.
Cole-Why would I evernot want to talk to you?
Phoebe-In case you thought I was a drunk or a leunatic or a drunk leunatic.
Cole-I think I'm gonna go with mystery, one I'm looking forward to figuring out.
Phoebe-Ok, I'm gonna go be mysterious.
Cole-I'll call you.
Phoebe-I will answer.
All Halliwell's Eve
Piper-I'm not gonna let you spoil my new attitude. I am going to celebrate the witch's holiday with enthusiasm!
Phoebe-Hooked-nosed hags riding broom sticks. That's what we're celebrating. Personally, I am offended by the representation of witches in popular culture
Piper-Right...which is why you dressed as the mistress of the dark?
Phoebe-This costume happens to be a protest statement.
Prue-I am so impressed that you can make a protest statement and show cleavage all at the same time.
Daryl(in police uniform)-It's from my rookie days. It still fits.
Leo(in WW2 uniform)-Yeah, mine, too.
Prue to Morris-We can stick together since we're both dateless.
Piper-He's not dateless, he's married. Your dateless because you're picky.
Prue (eating popcorn)-No, I'm just not settling, alright. The perfect guy is out there, a real man. And I will find him trust me.
Piper-Mmhm...and they are going to love the popcorn in your teeth, too.
Grimlock 1(Cole leaves)-I've always hated that demon.
Grimlock 2-Nice costume though.
(Grimlocks ring doorbell)
Grimlock 1-Trick or treat.
Phoebe-Oh my god, that is so weird, they look just like the grim...OH!!
(Grimlocks frozen, girls gone)
Morris-This isn't good, right?
Piper-We're not in Kansas anymore!
Piper-Don't tell me we've time traveled again. I hate time traveling!
Phoebe-You do? I was burned at the stake last time remember??
Prue-From what they're wearing it looks to be what, 16th, 17th century?
Phoebe-Where the life expectancy of a witch is what, 15 minutes?
Piper-It's 2:15.
Eva-You have made a big clock so small. You must possess great magic.
Piper-Just a good credit card.
Piper(about TPTB)-Oh leave it to them to zap first and give instructions never.
(Leo reading to Morris about Grimlocks)
Morris (about Succubus)-That snake tongued blonde is looking better and better.
Eva-A witch's journey is a walk of wisdom collected over the years. Wisdom gives us power. Power frieghtens the fearful and ignorant.
Eva-Rememeber, the magic is all around you.
Leo-We need more thyme.
Daryl-I can't help you there, buddy. It's almost nightfall.
Leo-No, I'm talking about an herb. It's for the potion. Over there.
Prue-What do we have?
Piper-We've got big problems, a little time and a little magic.
(Phoebe flying on broom with conicle hat and laughing evilly)
Piper-There's something you don't see every day.
Phoebe-So, you're an angel?
Cole (in angel costume)-Oh? This? No...not really.
Phoebe-That's ok, neither am I.
Sight Unseen
Prue (about Shawn)-Oh, just give him another drink.
Piper-If we give him any more we'll have to send him to an AA meeting.
Prue-What do I do?
Piper-Remorse is good, but attendence is better.
Phoebe to Cole-You came all the way over here for me? I mean we? I mean us?
Prue-I was up in the attic and when I woke up there was a pillow hovering over my head about to smother me.
Piper-A pillow? Hovering?
Phoebe-Oh, well, that must be the imfamous pillow-smothering demon.
Prue-Or maybe it was a demon who took them for some weird ritualistic ceremony.
Piper and Phoebe-Oh...
Phoebe-So, would that be the pillow smothering demon or the lock picking demon?
Phoebe-Leo is looking fine!
Shawn-Why do I get the feeling that you're a high maintenence kind of gal?
Prue-Oh maybe cuz I am?
(Leo and Piper in bed)
Piper to TPTB-I hope you enjoyed the show!
Primrose Path
Phoebe-Look at me...I'm a fashin blender, a Madame Moiselle don't.
(Prue's astral self returns to body)
Phoebe-I hate it when she plays astral games. Marco?
Prue (in attic)-Polo!
Cole-You look amazing.
Phoebe-It's all a part of my master plan.
Leo-Based on everything you sauid, Prue, it sounds like your shut-in is a future empath.
Piper-An empath...and me without my dictionary?
Prue-What's your last name
Vinceres-Misory!
Prue-Well, then would you like some company?
Vinceres-That's not funny...
Phoebe-So how about those niners?
Cole-What?
Phoebe-The niners?
Power Outage
Sleuthing With the Enemy
Coyote Piper
We All Scream For Ice Cream
Blinded By the Whiteliter
Wrestling With Demons
Bride and Gloom
The Good, the Bad and the Cursed
Just Harried
Death Takes a Halliwell
