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Project
SoCal.


Only YOU can save a lot of hassle.

You know? Moving is hard, man. There's saying goodbye, packing, finding a place, and so on and so forth... And then there's always the problem of finding the right neighborhood. So, my fellow denizens of the internet, I've had a plan. Sum up your city in one sentence. Maybe two. Three at most. Why bother? Moving is hard enough without knowing the gist of the city you'll be moving to. This is called Project SoCal because, specifically, I'm looking for summaries of cities in Southern California. But to keep this useful to everyone instead of for my own selfish needs, feel free to summarize any city you've lived in.


The First Summaries:

Antelope Valley, California: "About an hour 1/2 drive to LA. People like it here because you can have big houses for a lot less and can commute to LA." [Someone gave a totally serious summary? I know. I'm as shocked as you are.]
Baltimore, Maryland: "If you like hot, humid summers, cold, frigid winters, and a losing baseball team, this is your paradise."
Barstow, California: "Shithole you want to avoid. (see also Needles, California)."
Campbell, California: "A suburb of a suburb."
El Cajon, California: "Smaller than San Diego, but practically the same."
Escondido, California: "The funner, less country-style Des Moines." [Funner? Oh my...]
Fresno, California: "And you thought we were just a joke on TV... So you were partially right, at least."
Garden Grove, California: "Where everybody's eyes are slightly askew." [Note: I have no idea what this means. They aren't my words...]
Hungtington Beach, California: "Biggest White Trash beach town in the world."
Irvine, California: "Too many old people with too much money."
Irvine, California: "Home of both Blizzard and Interplay. Birthplace of Warcraft II."
Los Angeles, California: "*cough* *hack* Second-hand smoke does NOTHING!"
Los Angeles, California: "A great place to live if you have a lot of money, look like a model and have a fast car."
Los Angeles, California: "Charming for a week, a hassle for the rest of your life."
Oceanside, California: "Ahhh... It would be peaceful if we could stop going into political turmoil..."
Orange, California: "An average city with average people with a name that doesn't rhyme with anything."
Orange County, California: "Yeah... We're the city that went bankrupt in the 80s..."
San Diego, California: "The smaller, cleaner Los Angeles."
San Jose, California: "A haven for Computer Geeks."
San Jose, California: "Nice, but spread out too far."
San Marcos, California: "Hi! We're the jerks!"
Seattle, Washington: "It rains 300 days out of the year, but it's not all bad."
Spokane, Washington: "Not as rainy as Seattle, but much more humid."
Valley Center, California: "LONG LIVE THE CONFEDERACY!"
Victorville, California: "Sand, tract housing, crappy malls, and even worse strip malls.


Send in a summary.


Get me out of here...