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LATEST VIDEO!
We know the audio and video is crude but, hey, it's "real". The following clip is of Bells taking a call from Seay, asking Bells to come play Wiffle. Here is a silent movie. Seay is trying to call some no-shit giving players to play some Wiffle.
If you click happyballs.wmv you can get a very special message from a couple "stars" of the Fresno Wiffleball League. It will make you tingle all over.
CHECK OUT MIKE SEAY'S LATEST RANTING ON OUR COLUMNS PAGE AND SEE HOW BAD AN EDUCATION THE FRESNO UNIFIED GAVE HIM.
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COLE STEAMERS WIN FOURTH CHAMPIONSHIP! November 21, 2004, Fresno, CA. Aaron Ford and his Cole Steamers have once again captured the FWL championship. Unfortunately, there were no playoffs this year so the championship goes to the regular season winner, which was Cole. A big dissapointment this year was the small number of games played. Los (D'Wood) even went undeafeated, like Aaron, but did not play enough games to qualify for the championship. The final stats for 2004 have been added up and can be found by clicking 2004 STATS. Aaron again dominated every major category, as you would figure, given his undefeated season. The awards for the 2004 season will be out shorty. Also, just because it's now the off-season, that doesn't mean their won't be stuff going on so don't forget to check back with us on a regular basis. Make comments on the season, ask a question, or just talk about whatever by going to our SQUAWK BOARD.
REMEMBRANCES OF BEARD BEGIN TO TRICKLE IN Contributing writer and friend of the Fresno Wiffleball League, Trent Seay, has written a piece on his memories of the late league commissioner Beard. Here is that piece:
As an avid fan of the FWL, I was shocked to learn of the apparent suicide of Beard. Like most of us, I saw Beard as an incompetent boob, incapable of running a church raffle, much less a complicated organization like the FWL. I actually met Beard once and found him to be rather likable - he bought me a beer at "The Palomino" in Henderson Nevada. However, in the words of Gorden Gekko, "It's not always the most popular guy that gets the job done." Beard may very well have been a nice guy, but that doesn't mean he wasn't a jackass. I would much rather have an intelligent, horny guy in charge than a likeable nincompoop. BEARD IS DEAD, LONG LIVE SEAY. Thank you -- Trent Seay
LEAGUE COMMISSIONER BEARD FOUND DEAD!
October 31, 2004/Fresno, CA. The wiffleball world mourns over the apparent suicide of BEARD, the commissioner of the Fresno Wiffleball League. He was found in the bathroom sink of his central Fresno home on Sunday morning with a note, a Norelco shaver and a Bic razor nearby. Beard was apparently distraught over the likelihood of there again not being a playoff this year (there hasn’t been a playoff in a few seasons due to poor league management). Beard had promised numerous times there would be a playoff this year. The contents of the note have not been released but police say that they may be released if Beard’s family gives permission. Although nobody knows if Beard actually had any family. Former commissioner Seay has been placed as interim commish. “I plan to carry on what Beard had not started…er, um, I mean we will have a Playoff this year. I’m not sure about the more bitches in the league thing he promised though.” As it turns out, there was no season ending tourney...AGAIN. The search for another commissioner continues. DAYTON FIELD NEIGHBORS ARE LIVID AT THE F.W.L! November 28, 2004, Fresno, CA "I'm mad as hell and I'm not taking it anymore!" proclaims Maria Ortiz. Ortiz's house is located next door to Dayton Field (home of the Fresno Wiffleball League). Maria is fed up with a constant flow of wiffleballs falling into her backyard. "I'm sick of seeing that dorky-ass white-boy from next door, jumping into my backyard to come get his balls.' 'I'm also tired of him trying to look into my daughter's window, but that's another issue." Maria has been living with being next door to the wiffleball field for years now. She says she has collected over 700 wiffleballs -- give or take a few hundred. When asked what she is going to do with all of those wiffleballs Maria said "I hope to one day shove each one up the ass of that geek Seay!" A WIFFLEBALL "3 MAN" GAME HAS BEEN INVINTED This past Saturday the FWL got a needed shot in the arm. Los (d'wood) and Burns (fremont) actually played! Los played for the first time this year and Burns played for the first time since the 80's (Dayton still had problems beating him. Los didn't have any problems beating anybody!). Not only was there rare teams playing, a new style of Wiffleball was developed--a three man game was invented. Here is how the three man game works. You have a batter, a pitcher and a fielder. Every player bats in the inning, pitching is traded off every other inning. In the end, a single player has pitched a full game but has actually played two games, pitching 3 innings to one player and three innings to the other. Every individual match-up is kept track of in order not to mix the stats and match-ups. It is hard to explain but it worked out well. It's not known if this will be tried again but Commissioner BEARD has given it league approval. Nobody has challenged him yet so it's likely this new three man game will stick around.
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