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THE FRESNO WIFFLEBALL LEAGUE |
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FIRST GUEST COLUMN Read a column, written by JK, about ESPN's Sportscenter. MIKE SEAY'S COLUMN ARCHIVE MIKE SEAY'S BLOG ARCHIVE
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STAND UP TO THE EMPIRE AND SAY "F-YOU LUCAS"!!!
Invading stores all over the galaxy on Tuesday is the long-awaited Star
Wars Trilogy on DVD. And there you'll all be in your Grand Moff Tarkin
costumes, waiting in line to give Lucas ANOTHER forty-five of your hard-earned
dollars. I'm here to implore you...DON'T DO IT.
I'm not sure how much I've spent on Star Wars related merchandise over
the years, but I'm sure it's probably in the tens of millions of dollars.
I bought the toys, the videos, I still have the Threepio/R2 blanket with
the cigarette burn in it (strange, because I've never smoked). And I don't
regret building Skywalker Ranch with my support of these two wonderful films
(and Return of the Jedi). The memories they gave me are untouchable...
And then came the nineties.
Damn, Damn, Damn computer-generated Images to HELL. Because of this
"advancement", we were forced to endure the "special edition" trilogy.
Not to mention the computer-geek orgasms that are Episodes I & II.
These pieces of crap bear absolutely NO likeness to the films I fell
in love with as a kid. Hey Georgie, let someone else write for a change.
How about let's hire some actors who can actually act to play the main
character. Just because you can show Yoda bouncing around like a kid without
his Ritalin doesn't mean you have to.
And, speaking of those "special editions", I can take all of the
"improvements", but what I can't take is HAN SOLO WAITING AROUND FOR
GREEDO TO TAKE A SHOT AT HIM FIRST BEFORE FRYING HIS GREEN ASS YOU DICK!!!
It changes everything. At least give us the choice of which version to buy.
So, in conclusion, I say that the Emperor of Skywalker Ranch has enough
of our money. Show him that a rag-tag group of rebels can make a difference
and don't buy the DVDs new. Buy them used so he doesn't get any more of your
cash.
THANK YOU,
TRENT SEAY
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