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I believe it's love, it's hiding there in the shadows,in the darkness
Maybe we'll shed a little light and it will shine
So love, when I approach my tears they fall like rain
'Cause you know maybe, my heart into a thousand pieces dashed
-DMB
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Yeah, yeah, I know...It's been AGES since my last entry. Some of you might be wondering how I've been seeing as I had major surgery. Well, I'm just fine, thank you very much.
Actually, this whole surgery thing has consumed me. I'm shocked I even went through with it. Nothing seems that terrifying now that I've had my guts rearranged. And I tend to say hello to my friends and then follow the greeting with, "And I'm down the the very last whole on my belt!" or some other explanation of my weight loss.
Look, I've been fat since I could remember. I've never lost a lot of weight...this whole getting thinner thing is quite ammusing to me. Sort of an adventure for me. I'm waiting for my mother or Chris to smack me and tell me to shut up about it.
Anyway, I'm fine...I don't eat much; I throw up if I eat too much. My diet consists mostly of dairy products and maybe some nuts or something. I can't eat certain foods (bread, beef, pasta, rice, pizza) but that's okay...I sometimes don't miss those foods at all. Oh, and no drinking at all.
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So, the hospital stay was AWFUL as a hospital stay should be. My nurses were great though. Most of them were Asian and very very sweet. One of them, Tina, was so small and fragile looking. She would come to me in the night and check my vitals, give me medication, give me ice when my fever was spiking. I just wanted to give her a hug.
Compared to the other's having the surgery on the same day I was the "skinny minnie." One of the women was almost 400 lbs. I was just thankful I had the courage to have the surgery now instead of waiting till I weighed 400 lbs.
Yeah, it hurt like hell, by the way. And I'm allergic to morphine, a fact I learned two days into my stay. Morphine is great if you like to exist in an altered state. I apparently called my best friend, Jen, while totally high off of morphine. I cried, yelled at her, and mumbled. Yeah, that stuff is awful. It made me seriously sick. I had to switch pain killers around the third day and went on Demoral.
Oh Heavenly Father thank you for Demoral. All the stupid drugged out existence of Morphine without the pukey side-effects.
They make you walk about eight hours after having your abdomen cut open. With cathater in tow and tied to an I.V. I made one circle around the ward. It was awful. I hated walking but was forced to walk several times a day.
Non of this is interesting...
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Chris and I made a treck to the Bay Area to attend the Bridge School Benefit concert. Appearing at the concert were: Jill Soboule, Tracey Chapman, Billy Idol, REM, Dave Matthews, Pearl Jam, and Neil Young & Crazy Horse.
You can guess who I was most excited to see. Sigh, Dave Matthews...Damn, I love that man. He was excellent and sung one of my fave songs, "One Sweet World."
But the star of the concert was no doubt, Billy Idol. I was giddy being able to watch this old rock start kick some serious rock and roll ass. "Rebel Yell" acoustic was the most awsome experience and I nearly died when he sang "Eyes Without a Face." Billy's time came and went, and I never thought I'd see this bleached blond man sing. And here he was in all his classic Billy Idol-ness. I'd pay to see this man again, hands down.
If you EVER have the chance to get tickets to this show...GO GO GO GO GO GO...it's worth it. Seriously.
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Okay, I've made a major life decision...drum roll please...
I'm moving to Alaska next year. That's right...seriously, this isn't some empty statement.
Here's the plan, I'm going to drive to Alaska this summer, hang out...get a job (maybe at Barnes&Noble) and if I like it I'll stay and if I hate it I'll return...and somehow figure out how to get money to survive through my student teaching. But I'm thinking of just living in Alaska, working as a sub, maybe getting my teaching credential there...who knows!
Exciting, huh? Yeah, I won't believe it till I'm standing in a patch of snow and a moose is crossing my path.
Damn, I miss Alaska.
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So that's it, folks. Really, my days are dull. I work hard, go to school, and occasionally puke. Sort of routine.
Much love to my peeps...and my non-peeps.
Smooches,
Chelsea