Oh my...Oh my...so much has happened in the past weeks. First, I'm sorry for waiting for over a month to update my journal. My web connection at home is so very very sad...so I had to wait for some free time to come down to the computer lab at Cal State Bakersfield. Again...very sorry.
Also...let me clear the air about Milton's stint in jail. He was released and charges against him were cleared. Seems the D.A. decided there was no case and released him. Milton is not an ex-con. After being released Milton called me up and told me the whole story (it was such a relief to hear his voice). He then worked at a convinience store, but was layed off. He then moved in with an all girl rock band for awhile. Jobless and poor he was living off of ciggarettes and Honey Buns (you know those hostess snack cakes that cost $.35). He had enough of living the artist's life and moved in with his Dad in Oakdale (Oak-something) and is now working as...get this...a substitute teacher. I have received many calls from him and he is happy and healthy. Please say a prayer for him...he needs it.
---
I left Alaska on December 17th. My roommate was royally pissed that I didn't clean the suite properly (like I give a rat's ass) and even though I knitted her a lovely scarf...well my farewell was lukewarm. I hear she is out of school temporarily working for a dentist. I miss Andrea now and then...she was a lovely person.
My return home was strange and emotionally straining. I walked through the door and was standing in this familiar place. I knew these things were mine and yet things were foreign to me. It is not like I was gone very long, I know but still...everything had a sense of distant familiarity. I sat in my kitchen the whole time thinking "My God...it's a kitchen!" My mother looked at me and said, "It's like you never left." But I did leave...I left for four months and lived in a tiny room. For others it is like I never left but for me...it is like I've been gone for a year. This is what released convicts must feel like. Longing for the familiarity of their cell, yet reveling in the novelty of freedom.
Adjustment back into my old life went just fine. For several weeks I couldn't believe I was seeing my friends everyday. I mean, actually seeing my friends, being surrounded by loving and supportive people (what a concept). We had parties (New Years) I lived a hedonistic life for awhile. All was well...then I decided to call Tom in Alaska. He started describing the sunset (it was 3pm in Alaska so it was dusk) and I started to cry my eyes out. I missed it so much. I missed Tom, I missed Andrea, I missed the moose, the ravens, the snow, the mountains, the gorgeous view from my room window...everything. I was blue for awhile. I can't believe I was in Alaska. God it was beautiful.
---
So, I'm back at school...taking an interesting variety of classes. In fact, I think I just failed my first mid-term in Biohistory (called Plagues and People). I'm so fucking burnt out on school. I can't stand the damn class, and I thought I would love it. My psychology class is great! I really enjoy learning about the different theories. I am planning on taking abnormal psychology next quarter. It's so important to care about what you are learning.
---
Love life wise...well, there is none to speak of. Which I suppose is fine...yeah, right, who am I kidding? I plan on visiting my friend John in Santa Maria. I write to Tom but he doesn't write back. I got a letter from Ricardo but our relationship cooled to a friendship. I'm basically...well, single. I know I shouldn't care...but I do. Dammit!!!
---
Well, I can't think of much else to write. Oh yes, I've convinced my mother to get a tattoo (I know...I'm magical) and I want to get another one too. Last night I was pondering what would I want to get done and I realized what I want...my favorite flower is the Gerber daisy. I am mad about the things, I have about 8 different ones growing in my garden. They are hardy, yet beautiful, full, yet delicate. I'm going to find a really nice picture of one and get that done. I'm debating where on my body to put it. I was thinking on the back of my neck. I could always cover it up with my hair. I dunno...just a thought.
---
Smooches my dearest friends, I love you all!