PART THREE

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Hold fast to dreams

For if dreams die

Life is a broken-winged bird

That cannot fly.

Hold fast to dreams

For when dreams go

Life is a barren field

Frozen with snow.

-Langston Hughes

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SEVEN

 

 

      Kyu ran to the chair and knelt beside it, clasping the other woman’s hands in hers.  “Relena!  You’re alive!” she declared in astonishment.

     “Yes, Kyu,” Relena Peacecraft said with a gentle smile.  “I’m alive.” 

The Japanese girl examined her hurriedly.  She seemed pale, somewhat tired, her face lined with shadows and seeming strangely old despite her youth.  Her dark blonde hair was swept back in its usual style, but she was dressed in a loose t-shirt and sweatpants; it was more casual than anything she had ever seen Relena wear.  “How...?  I saw him shoot you!”

“He missed anything vital,” she said.  “On purpose, I presume.”      

“Of course it was on purpose,” Heero said.

Relena smiled.  “He hijacked the ambulance—a thing he’s a little too fond of, I’ll admit—and he and Milliardo found somewhere obscure for me to be treated.  My brother orchestrated the public statement of my death, the funeral, and made sure that all the doctors who knew I was alive were going to keep quiet.  After I was well enough, Heero acquired a shuttle and brought me out here, where my presence would be more easily concealed.”

“But why?”

“Relena was being targeted by anarchists,” Heero said quietly.  “It seemed like there was one movement behind all of the rioting, and it was building to very dangerous level.  When it seemed the Alliance could no longer protect its people with its pacifistic views, those people would lose faith in and respect for its leader.  If Relena was seen as incapable, there would be no hope for the Alliance to prevail.  If Relena were eliminated, the anarchist movement would have to proceed without the full force they had intended to gather, and hopefully make a mistake big enough for us to catch them, or stop them.”

“By us, you mean you and the other Gundam pilots.”

“As well as the ex-Preventers.  I expected they would join us, and Zechs agreed.”

“But what if you had missed?” Kyu demanded, rising from the floor and facing him angrily.  “Or if you hadn’t gotten to her fast enough?  You might have killed her by mistake.”

“I don’t miss,” he said simply.

“Kyu,” interjected Relena.  “Heero did what he had to.  I’m sorry we didn’t tell you, but I was afraid you’d do something rash.”  She sighed.  “But right now...I need to talk to you about some other things.”  A meaningful glance passed between her and Heero. 

“I’ll be outside,” he announced quietly, and slipped through the door.

As it shut behind him, Relena motioned to a nearby chair identical to her own.  “Sit down,” she said quietly.  Kyu complied, still staring slightly awestruck at the other woman’s face.  After a moment, Relena began to talk.  “I haven’t been very honest with you, Kyu.  There are things I really should have told you, things that might have made the last few months easier for you.”  She paused, frowning as she considered her phrasing.  “Do you remember when I found you?”

“I try not to.”

“I know, but it’s important.  You know, I helped you because after I talked to you, I believed what you said.  I wanted to help you because I knew you were worth saving.”

“You’ve told me this.”

“But that wasn’t the only reason I helped you, Kyu.”  A brief smile crossed her face.  “When I found you, I was ruling the Cinq Kingdom.  Back then, I was still a little girl in a lot of ways.  And I had developed the most unbreakable crush on Heero Yuy.”  Kyu raised a brow at this.  “I know.  It seems strange for a pacifist to be attracted to someone like him.  But you see, he isn’t really how he lets on.  I didn’t see it at first, either, but he’s very gentle down inside, even though he stays cold when he has to.  I wanted to help him, and I wanted him to help me be stronger.  So you see, when I wasn’t around him, I missed him.”

“What does this have to do with—“

“Just a minute, I promise.”  She cast her eyes down.  “I wanted to find out more about Heero.  I wanted to know where he came from, and why he was the way he was.  And eventually, I found where he had come from.  I found his parents, and his birthplace...and his twin sister.”  Relena looked up at her shocked face.  “You and Heero were born with the names Matsuki Takeshi and Matsuki Saya.  Your parents were killed in colonial riot two years after your birth, and you were both declared missing.  I assume you were separated and eventually picked up by separate people, and from there have the pasts you know about.”

“His sister?” she exclaimed in disbelief. “I’m his sister?”

“Your fingerprints match those of Takeshi and Saya, and besides that you look more alike than you realize.  After I met you I was certain of it.”

“But why didn’t you ever tell me about this?”

“I was worried about you.  I was...well, back then Heero was a very dangerous influence.  Trust me: he nearly got me killed more than once.  Besides that, I was in the height of my pacifistic state, and I thought if you got involved with him, it would undo everything I was trying to teach you.”

“Well it didn’t take anyway,” Kyu noted sardonically.

“No, I wasn’t that good of a teacher,” she admitted.  “But I did keep you out of trouble.  After the war, I only saw Heero once, and that was during the Maremaia incident.  I didn’t want you to be angry at me for keeping it from you when there was no way for you to meet him. And it didn’t seem that important to you to know where you came from.”

“Did you tell him?”

“Not until recently.  For different reasons.  I thought it would be stressful on someone trying to fight a war almost single-handedly.”

Kyu closed her eyes.  Everything she had worked for in the last six months was wasted.  Nothing had been as it seemed at all, and she had done things she would regret for a lifetime in the name of revenge.  She had worked for that snake Ross, consolidated his power, given him what should be Relena’s.  She had almost killed Duo.  And now, Relena was alive, and Heero was suddenly her savior rather than her killer, and on top of that, Kyu’s brother.  Heero had been right: she wouldn’t have believed it from anyone else, especially him.  “Then what do I do now?” she asked helplessly.

“Heero thinks you should help them.”

“The Gundam pilots,” she said dispiritedly.

“Yes.  You know they’re fighting for the right thing, Kyu.  Heero was impressed with you, but don’t tell him I said so.  You know you would help them a lot.  And whatever you think you’ve done wrong, it would give you a chance to fix it.”

Kyu smiled in spite of herself.  “You can always tell what I’m thinking.”

“I’ve had practice on your brother.”

“Speaking of brothers, where’s yours?”

“On earth, causing trouble for that bastard of a President, Ross.”  Relena’s voice was uncharacteristically hostile. 

She laughed.  “I’m shocked to hear that kind of language from you.”

“He’s ruining everything.  I wouldn’t be surprised if he was behind it all.”  Just as Kyu was about to respond, the door opened again, and Chang walked in.  He glanced between the two women, and then faced Relena and announced, “He says he’ll be here in a week or two.”

“Good.”

“What?”

“Zechs is going to smuggle me back to earth,” she explained.  “They think it may be over soon, and they want me there to take over again once they’ve discovered who’s behind it all.”

“And killed them,” Wufei pointed out.

“Or imprisoned them,” Relena corrected.  “I don’t want people dying unnecessarily.”

The Chinese pilot snorted.  “Pacifists,” Kyu heard him mutter under his breath.  “Yuy and I are leaving for earth in a couple of days.  Une will be staying here until you leave.”

“I’m coming with you,” Kyu announced suddenly.  She was slightly surprised to hear herself voice her decision, but she knew, somehow, it was right.

Chang regarded her skeptically.  “Who asked?”

“I did,” Heero announced from the door, “I think my sister is qualified to join us.”

“Your what?” Wufei asked in astonishment.  He glanced between the male and female twins and his expression assumed an air of enlightenment.  “No doubt,” he said at last, “you are all about to explain this to me.”

“We have the trip back to earth to talk,” Heero said. “I think Relena is getting tired.”

“I’m fine, Heero.”  She did look paler than she should, Kyu noticed.  It was doubtless stress and the injury.  Heero was worried about her, though, and that showed her that there was something much deeper to their relationship than one of necessity or even past friendship.  He truly cared for her and she for him.  Relena smiled.  “You should be going,” she said.  “We need to get this over with as soon as we can.  Before things degenerate too far.”

Heero agreed.

“Let’s go then,” Wufei said, “before Quatre finishes the job for us.”

 

 

“Quatre!” Callista said with relief as he walked into the room.  She examined him slowly, looking for damage done to him during the battle.  Her blonde hair slipped from behind her ear and she reached to tuck it back into place.

“I’m fine,” he told her.

Quatre pulled off his shirt over his head and threw it aside.  He wiped his hand across the sweat on one arm, and declared, “I need a shower.”

“Taking one alone?  Or would you prefer company?” Callista asked suggestively.

He smiled.  “Alone this time.  I’ll be out soon,” he promised.  Without another word, he stepped into the bathroom and nudged the door shut.  He leaned against it for a moment, feeling the ache of battle flow through his muscles.  He had been reckless, he knew, first at Riyadh and again today.  Callista was worried after the damage he had done to himself against the Alliance Omegas.  He felt his side.  The bruises were fading and the other lacerations closed and healing, but the long slash across his stomach was still open and painful.

Trowa had told him to be more careful.  Callista had asked him to stop fighting.  He doubted he would do the first and knew he would not do the second.  It was part of him now, reckless warfare.  Sometimes it was necessary to stay ahead of all the assassins and cutthroat politicians he dealt with.  There were so many plots to be rid of him that he had to act constantly to keep them at bay.

Wearily, Quatre turned the water on and stepped into the stream of hot water.  He did not bother washing at first, simply enjoying the heat streaming over his tired limbs.  After a while, he rubbed some soap halfheartedly over his skin and rinsed it off.

Callista smiled at him when he came out of the bathroom.  Quatre came over to the bed and crawled onto the bed.  She laid back as he leaned over her.  “Quatre,” she whispered lovingly, clasping her hands behind his neck.

He lowered himself, bracing his weight on his elbows, and kissed her gently on the lips.  “Callista,” he said hesitantly, “I want you to leave.”

“What?”  She tried to sit up.

“I’m worried that you’ll be hurt if you stay here.  I want you to go to L4 and stay with my sister Madison.”

“I want to stay with you, Quatre.”  She brushed a sandy lock of hair from his face. 

He took her hand in his and pressed it against his mouth.  “I’ll miss you, Cal.  But I want you safe.  I’m worried that something will happen while I’m away.”

“If you think that’s best,” she said quietly.  He closed his eyes and laid his head against her neck.  Callista ran her fingers through his hair.  “Quatre,” she said, and he raised his head to look at her.  “If something happened to you, I think I would die,” she whispered quietly.  “I know you won’t stop fighting, but please be careful.  I can’t bear to lose you.”

“You won’t lose me, Callista.  I promise.”  As he spoke those words, something pained him deep inside, and he realized how much he cared for her.  It was much deeper than he had imagined he could feel, a pure sort of love that he had never felt for anyone.  He kissed her and she kissed back, and they held each other wordlessly.  “I love you, Quatre Winner,” she whispered.  He traced the outline of her face, and pulled her to him, wishing he had the courage to say it back.

 

 

Trowa was normally a very patient person.  Duo, however, could be incredibly nerve-wracking when he put effort into it, and this was one of those times.  “Duo,” he said at last, “if you don’t stop pacing and muttering to yourself I’m going to shoot you.”

“Sorry.”  He raised a brow.  It was unlike Duo to admit fault so readily.

“Don’t worry about Heero,” Trowa suggested.  “He can take of himself.”

“But what if he kills her?” Duo demanded angrily.

“You should have thought of that before you got involved with a girl trying to kill your best friend.” 

Duo began pacing again.  “I couldn’t help it.  I mean, we met by accident...and she’s really fascinating, Trowa.  It’s weird, though.  While I was talking to her, I kept being reminded of Heero.”

“Are they that much alike?”

      “No.  That’d the weird thing about it.  I just kept getting the feeling that she was.”  He sat down at last, glancing irritably at the hand of solitaire that Trowa had spread out across the coffee table.  “That plays,” he pointed out.

      “Yes, I know.”  Duo watched Trowa play in his typical slow, methodical manner.  After a moment, his restlessness returned, and he went to the kitchen.  The other pilot was grateful to have him gone, if only momentarily.  “Ah, I’ve won,” he announced to himself, and gathered the cards together.  He was just laying them out for another round when the door opened.  Trowa glanced up to see Heero walking into the room.  “Welcome back, Heero.  Is Wufei with you?”

      “I’m here,” the Chinese pilot offered, sounding slightly perturbed, “and that’s not all.”

      Trowa did not have time to ask what he meant before a third figure walked into the door.  It did not take him long to recognize who it was.  “Kyu?”  Duo apparently heard him, because he appeared almost miraculously into the room.

      Kyu smiled uncertainly at them.  “Hey, Duo.  Surprise.”

 

 

     

 

 

EIGHT

 

 

      Noin arrived in Moscow three minutes after seven.

      The flight had been arduous and time-consuming, which only irritated the already large degree of anxiety that plagued her.  She called for six cups of coffee on the ten hour flight, holding the Styrofoam cup with two hands and sipping, eyes closed, in a futile attempt to relieve the tension she felt in her nerves.  Zechs had left her the morning before, going to the colonies.  He said it had something to do with Heero.  Noin asked to accompany him, but the both knew she would be of more use helping Sally.

      It was only that she couldn’t bear being separated from him without more reason than he had given.

      The riots and warfare had resulted in an incredibly chaotic air traffic system, the civilian planes being rerouted cautiously to avoid potential danger zones.  The closest flight she could get to Nanking that week was Moscow, so she took it, and Sally made the trip to meet her there.  Ten hours, an ocean, a continent, and six delays later, she arrived.

      Sally was there to greet her.  “Air traffic has been horrible,” the short-haired woman announced.  “You wouldn’t believe the delays I had getting here.”

      “I would.  You forget I flew here from Shanghai yesterday afternoon.  I’m still a bit jet lagged at that.”  The two women began walking through the terminal. “Have anything else?” Sally asked, eyeing the small backpack Lucrezia had slung over one shoulder.

      “Of course not.  You know I travel light at times like these.”

      “Did Zechs get out okay?”

      “As far as I know,” Noin sighed.  “There’s something important he’s not telling me,” she said irritably.  “He said he’d be back in a few days, and after he rendezvous with us, he’ll take us to meet with the Gundam pilots.”

      “Do you suppose he and Heero are hiding something?” Sally asked

      “I’m sure of it,” Lucrezia answered.  “I’d bet money on it if I had any.”

      “We’ll learn soon enough,” Sally said as they reached the front of the terminal.  They stepped through the glass doors into the sunlight.  Sally grinned and linked arms with Noin.  “Until then, what do you say we go make some trouble for our friends in the Alliance?”

 

 

      The Gundam pilots, now six, gathered around the table as Trowa spread out the map.  “Alaska,” he said ominously, “is going to be tough.  It’s the biggest Alliance base in the western hemisphere, and it’s easily twice as big as Riyadh after the Rho forces joined it.”

      “Harder to get to as well,” added Wufei.

      “It depends on how you go about it,” Kyu said.  They looked at her.  After a month, she was used to them looking at her the way they were now.  “I’ve been to the Alaska base,” she said.  There’s a pass to the east.  It’s almost impossible to find unless you know where to look, but it’s definitely big enough for a few mobile suits to get through.”

      “But if they think you’re helping us, they’ll be looking for an attack that way.”

      “Only if they expect us to be attacking Alaska in the first place.  You boys have been concentrating on the Middle East and the surrounding area, so it’s likely no one will think of us attacking a base halfway around the world.  If they connect my defection to intelligence regarding Alaska, then we’ll have a little more trouble.  But it’s still the best way to attack.”

      “Are you sure you can find it?” Wufei asked.

      “Of course I’m sure.”

      Duo leaned forward.  “We should do it,” he said with his characteristic grin.  He winked at Kyu, and she   repressed a smile at his carefree, yet somehow unnerving, profession of faith in her suggestion.

      “It sounds good,” Quatre said mildly, his brow creased in thought as he considered the possible flaws in the plan.  “I don’t like the idea of all of us attacking from the same place.”  He pointed to a few spots on the map.  “What is the geography like here?”  She gave him as detailed descriptions as she was able, and at last he nodded eagerly and said, “Two of us—I would say Duo and Heero, or maybe Kyu, should take the pass because they have the best maneuverability.  I’ll take Sandrock to the east: the ground is flat, but Sandrock’s armor should be strong enough.  Trowa, your weapons should help defer the onslaught, so you could come in on that side, or from the north, which is similar terrain.  Wufei, you won’t need heavy armor as much, and your strengths will help.  It would be good to come from the south, especially since they won’t be expecting it. Trowa and I will distract the troops: they aren’t used to dealing with more than two or three Gundams. They may be expecting one more: we’ll give them two—and the other two can sneak into the base.”

      “Kyu’s good at sneaking,” Duo offered.

      “Kyu and I can go,” Heero said.

      Quatre shook his head.  “We need Zero’s buster rifle,” he explained.  “What about Wufei?”

      “I’ll go,” he said after a moment.

“That sounds good,” Trowa said.  “Kyu can fly in with Wufei.  The mountains will get good cover, and won’t be watched for.  We need to check and make sure our coms are working well before we go, however.  Being organized could mean the battle in as tough a place as this.”

      “All right then,” Duo announced, rubbing his hands together eagerly, “Let’s go get some.”

 

 

      When Kyu and Wufei reached the base, the battle was in full swing.  Heavyarms and Sandrock had the north and east plains covered with wreckage from the inferior MS.  Still more swarmed  around them, the Leos and Aries being gunned down from a distance, and the Omegas brutally slashed by Sandrock’s heat shotels. 

      Duo and Heero, meanwhile, had surprised a large contingent of Mobile suits from the secluded pass.  The two had fought together so often their movements were fluid and perfectly matched.  Kyu took a moment to appreciate their skill before they emerged from their cover.  “I’ll go right,” Chang told her, and swung gracefully in the indicated direction.

      “Fine then,” Kyu said, and performed an unnecessarily complicated spin as she reversed thrust.  The pair raced across the rocky expanse toward the base.  The hectic struggle to fend off the other four suits had pulled the watch from the south, and Altron and Wing Nine passed unhindered to the gates of the fortress.  As they descended within the walls, the enemy forces rallied.  Kyu brought the battle to a personal level, focusing on the enemies at hand.

      “Kyu, Wufei,” Quatre’s voice interjected as her beam sword scythed through a pair of Aries IIs.  “Try to get in as quickly as you can.  Leave the suits for Duo and Heero.”

      “Sure thing, Catman,” Kyu replied cheerfully.

      “What?”

      “I’m on my way,” Wufei announced.

      “Over there, to the northeast,” Kyu suggested, “the white building.”  It stood slightly above the others, its coloring faintly different from the hangers and military towers.  Her companion grunted his assent, and they made their way toward it.  A ring of four Omicron 7s were protecting it.  They were more powerful than even the Omegas, and were rare: solid gray steel, humanoid like the Leos and Aries, but with height to match a Gundam.  It was almost a surety that those unmoving suits were guarding something important.  Or else they were a very expensive decoy.

      She saw Altron veer to the right again, and she worked to the left.  The Omicrons were engineered for personal combat, and, while one was no match for a Gundam, several consecutive battles would be exhausting.  Kyu steeled herself as the suit whipped a beam sword and slashed toward her.  She brought hers to bear, and the two swords crackled with green energy.  Wing Nine began to overpower the Omicron, and the suit propelled itself back, wrenching its weapon from hers.  Kyu anticipated this, and whirled away from the suit’s reflex attack, slicing a long gash in the gray metal of the Omicron.  It shorted, and spasmed, and Wing Nine leapt over the fallen suit to face the next.  It was quicker, she found, and she slipped her beamsword away in favor of her long knives.

      As the second suit attacked, with a horizontal slash, she flipped her left knife down to block it and shoved the other toward the chest.  The Omicron partially dodged the shot, and the energy blade sliced through the shoulder.  The damaged suit charged her in desperation, thrusting head on with the beam sword.  Kyu rammed her left thrusters to full, flinging the suit right as the sword came at the cockpit.  The weapon scraped into the armor, slowly melting the gundanium.  Hell, that’s strong, Kyu thought viciously.  She utilized the longer reach of the Gundam and held the arm at bay while she struggled to assess the damage and figure out why her right arm wasn’t responding the way it should.

      In the midst of her frantic efforts, a sarcastic voice asked, “Need some help?”  Shenlong’s snakelike dragon fang ripped the cockpit from the Omicron.  The metal crashed to the earth with a violent shudder.

      “Don’t let it happen again,” he said.  “I’m not here to baby-sit you.”  Kyu glanced around, and saw the remaining two Omicrons scattered in pieces across the base.  “Quick,” he said, “get out of the suit and into the building before the reinforcements arrive.”

      Kyu began to comply when she heard a screech over the intercom.  “What was that?”

      “It’s Quatre,” Duo said.  As she surveyed the battlefield, she saw that he had moved to joined Heavyarms and Sandrock.  Wing Zero was still inside the base, keeping the Aries and Leos from getting to Wing Nine and Altron.

      “I’m okay,” came Quatre’s voice, “It’s just—“ static erupted.

      “Quatre!”

 

      He had felt a sensation of wrongness about the base when he and Trowa had flown across the snow swept Alaskan plains.  Everything appeared as they had anticipated, and he said nothing of his ill-humor to the other pilots.  The first wave of assault was a minor detachment of Aries II and Leos.  Heavyarms destroyed most of those before they reached the pair.  The few that did make it past were accompanied by Omegas and Deltas, tiny aircraft meant to sting and annoy to distract from the real battle.  By this time, they were a mere hundred yards from the base, and the base was under attack from Deathscythe and Wing Zero from the east.

      Heero cleared a large path across the plain with his super-powered twin buster rifle, and he and Duo began slicing individual suits with their respective beam weapons.  The scythe and sword whirled magnificently around the compound, sweeping away enemies in graceful arcs.  Not intentionally, he knew: it was the nature of a well-trained warrior such as those two.  Quatre kept one eye on the tactical screen in his cockpit even as he dug his hooks into the Aries and ripped the suits and the pilots inside into a mess of blood and metal.  It was strangely gratifying.

      After a few moments of intense battle, Wing Nine and Altron stormed the scene.  Quatre was grimly pleased that the enemy was so shocked and slow to react to the appearance of the last two suits.  He capitalized on their indecision, doubling his kill rate and clearing a large circle around Sandrock.

      “Kyu, Wufei: try to get in as quickly as you can,” he reminded the two,  “Leave the suits for Duo and Heero.”  Both acknowledged him, and he transferred his attention back to the battle.

      The battle wore on, and the suits seemed to increase. Quatre felt a familiar tugging in his brain, the steady pulse of war-driven rage.  Sleek black swarmed about him, and the blood rose in his head.  As he found himself separated from the other pilots, he gave himself into the rhythm of the battle, the heat of the attack and the desperation of defense.  It was all strokes, actions and reactions, a dance of blood and death.  He impaled an Aries, flung the twisted wreckage toward its fellows, and dived deeper into their midst.  Sandrock began to take hits, and the suit, powerful though it was, was battered and bruised by the constant barrage of enemies.  He was losing maneuverability in his weaponry, and he shifted power from his thrusters to his arms, consolidating all of his strength as he battled the innumerable foes.

      Suddenly, a strange mobile suit leapt through the fray toward him.  It was the same sleek black as the Omegas, but obviously more powerful.  It pulled a pair of long scimitar from its back.  Quatre understood, suddenly.  Alaska was meant as bait.  For him?  Possibly, though he thought it unlikely.  He shoved the implications from his mind, letting the analytical give way to the tactical, and met the attacker with a powerful blow from both his shotels.  The mobile suit was formidable, Quatre surmised, and while not a match for a Gundam—made of regular steel and inferior design, though clearly custom—Sandrock was damaged from the extended battle with the Aries and Omegas.  The two exchanged blows, each ripping through pieces of the other suit.  Quatre switched fighting modes constantly, scrolling through them in his mind to find the most appropriate.  This pilot fought with an Asian martial arts style similar to Wufei’s, but even the best matches for it were sluggish with the decreased power of Sandrock’s thrusters.

      A dark grin crossed his face as recklessness consumed him.  The left hook clashed with the right scimitar thrust toward the cockpit, and deflected it, while the right hook buried itself in the enemy’s chest, shorting the circuitry and killing the pilot.  The scimitar impaled itself in Sandrock’s left torso.  Quatre could not restrain a cry of pain and surprise as sparks flew around him and metal screeched.

      He heard some one scream something.  “...It’s Quatre...” he heard distantly.

      “I’m okay,” he assured them, wiping blood from his forehead.  “I’m just—“ 

      An explosion rocked the cockpit, and shrapnel flew at him.  He felt metal bite into his chest, his limbs and his face, before something loud and painful knocked him into darkness.

 

      “Quatre!”

      They were all yelling at him, even Heero, trying to get him to respond.  There was no sound coming from the wreckage of Sandrock, only static and emptiness.  The fight still raged, mobile suits coalescing around the other five.

      “Is he alive?  Trowa, do you see anything?” Kyu asked as she pulled her knives from the cockpit of an Omega.

      “I can’t see him very well,” said Trowa, grazing the enemy with missiles and gunfire.  He tried to drive away the torrent of Mobile Suits around the fallen Sandrock.  He caught glimpses of the suit, scarred and deformed metal, gashes and sparking circuitry.  “There are suits everywhere.”

After a moment, Heero said quietly, “I’m not picking up any lifesigns from Sandrock.” 

“Quatre!” yelled Duo.

“Heero, are you certain?” Trowa asked.  He knew the desperation he felt was evident in his voice.  Heero didn’t make mistakes.  But it was Quatre in there; the one that had given them hope, had given them unity, despite their differences.  He had changed, but he was still Quatre inside, the person who had brought him back from so many dark places, who had always found the good in things, even when it seemed so hopeless.

“The circuitry is fried,” Heero replied.  “That explosion melted the cockpit.”

“We have to do something!” Kyu said.  “We can’t just leave him.”

Trowa fought the overwhelming and confusing emotions he felt, forcing himself to forego the luxury of grief to save his life and those of his comrades.  “We have no choice,” he managed at last.  “If we don’t leave the five of us will be killed as well.  There’s nothing we can do for Quatre.”

The five remaining Gundams began their reluctant retreat, backing slowly toward the pass from whence had come Wing Zero and Deathscythe.  As Heavyarms reached the shadowed cliff, Trowa glanced back toward where his friend lay.  “I’m sorry, Quatre,” he said softly. 

 

 

 

 

NINE

 

 

      They camped in the woods that night, miles southeast of the Alaskan base, in the midst of a somber gathering of Redwoods.  Their Gundams were hidden as best as they were able, wedged under overhangs and dense forestry.  After a quiet meal and a long silence by the fire, they began to disperse to separate areas, set away from the others.  Without Quatre, they felt isolated again.  Quatre had given them the ability to work as a team rather than as units with similar goals.  Kyu had been an addition to that team, but she felt isolated from them for reasons of her own.

      She stayed by the fire for a while alone, and then went to talk to Heero.  He was sitting several yards away, disassembling his handgun.  “Heero?” she said tentatively.  “Do you mind...?”

      He grunted.  “Aim’s off,” he told her.  He glanced up at his sister and motioned to the blanket he was sitting on.  “Sit.” 

      She complied, watching him work for a moment, and then gazing up at the stars.  After a moment, she asked hesitantly, “Do you really think Quatre’s dead?”

      “It seems that way,” Heero replied without looking away from his weapon.  “Maybe it didn’t kill him, but I don’t see why Rho would let him live if they found him, and there’s nowhere he could go without a mobile suit.  I’d guess he was pretty injured from the way Sandrock looked, so I doubt he’s in any condition to steal an aircraft if he did survive.”  He slid the last piece of his gun in place and aimed it at a nearby tree.  “It’s possible, though.”

      “You were close to him, weren’t you?”

      Her brother set the gun in his lap.  “In ways,” he said.  “Quatre was important to all of us in different ways.  We saved each others lives a few times, and that’s not something you forget easily.”

      Kyu drew her knees to her chest and spoke softly.  “I keep thinking about how I felt after I thought Relena had died.”

      “Murderous and vengeful?”

      “Other than that.” Kyu smiled briefly.  “Empty,” she told him.  “I felt empty.  The vengeance was just what I used to fill that up with.  She saved my life, and like you said, that’s not something you forget easily.  I didn’t have a purpose before then.  I didn’t bother to find one after.  I just let Relena fill up my empty life with hers, and after she was dead there was nothing left.”   Kyu sighed.  “She was the one that should have lived.  So I wanted...to replace that somehow.”

      “I don’t really see what you mean,” Heero said.  “Quatre was one of us, a big part of us, but that doesn’t change what happened.  If someone dies, you can’t just replace them.”

      “That’s the hard part,” Kyu said softly, and they both fell silent again.  Heero was fiddling with his gun some more, although it was now just an empty ritual to occupy his mind and hands.  Kyu found herself thinking back months, to when she had first met Quatre.  He hadn’t left much of an impression on her then, but to be honest, none of them did, except for Wufei...She thought about the Chinese pilot for a while.  He acted sarcastic all the time, treated her like an incompetent child, yet sometimes there was a spark of something else: understanding, or even respect, she never was sure.  A sudden urge to seek him out overcame her, a desire she didn’t understand, but felt compelled to obey.

      “I’m going to go for a walk,” she told her brother, and he nodded wordlessly.

      Kyu wandered aimlessly through the trees.  She knew which way Wufei had gone, but she felt uncertain about pursuing him, so she wandered around in the general area until she happened on him almost by accident.  Wufei was sitting cross-legged on a cliff overlooking a lower portion of the forest.  His eyes were closed, his hands folded in his lap.  She felt a flutter of something like fear suddenly, and almost turned to leave.  But her foot snapped a twig as she stepped backward.

      “What are you doing?” he asked quietly.

      “I was taking a walk,” she said.  It explained nothing, she knew, but he accepted it.  They stared at each other for a moment, until Kyu managed to reinstate her resolve and move to join him.  “I was talking to Heero,” she began, staring at the dirt as her index finger swirled a pattern in it.  “I talked to him about Quatre some, and about Relena.  I felt like I needed to talk to someone.”

      “Why are you telling me this?”

      “I don’t know,” she said slowly.  “Heero didn’t understand.  I thought you might.”  Wufei grunted.  “The night you guys caught me...however long ago that was...you said it then.”

      “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Wufei said defensively.

      “You said I was fighting in place of Relena.”  Kyu reflected pensively on it for another moment.  “Why...why did you think that?”

      She thought he would dismiss the question, or insult her, or tell her to go away, but he surprised her.  “I was married once,” he said.  Ignoring her surprise, he continued.  “It was an arranged marriage; we were still children, obviously.  Her name was Meiran, and she drove me crazy.”  He smiled ironically.  “She used to call herself Nataku, after a legendary warrior.  She wanted to fight for Justice.  And I told her she was too weak to fight.”

      “That was cruel of you.”

      “She irritated me,” he said sharply.  “Anyway, there was a battle on the colony one day, and Meiran got it into her head to go fight.  I went after her in Shenlong—it was being built nearby—and tried to help her.  But she was too badly injured, and she died shortly after.”  Kyu watched him in silence, stunned by the glimmer of a tear in his eye.  “She was stronger than I was.  I lied when I said she was weak.  I realized when she died just how much more her life had meant than mine.  I read about things, learned things, but she cared about them.  That’s why I brought Shenlong to Earth.  That’s why I fought in the wars.  Because Meiran deserved a longer life than she had, and I was the only person she could live through.”  He fell silent, and refused to look at her.  Kyu reflected on this in silence.

      “Relena,” she said unsteadily after a moment, sighed and began again, “When I was young, I was in a lot of orphanages, homes and things. I don’t remember being with family before, Heero and all that, just all the homes they tried to send me to.  After a while they stuck me in a girl’s home and left me there, and I went to this old run-down school.  I became good friends with this boy Justin, and one day after school we went to his house...he lived with his older brother, though, and he came in that night, drunk as hell.  He was mad about something, sreaming incoherently, and he started beating Justin.  I thought he was about to kill him, and it terrified me, so I...stabbed him.”

      “With what?”

      “Scissors.”  Kyu swallowed.  “He died from it, and I was convicted for murder.”

      “Didn’t the boy--?”

      “He testified against me.”  She glanced at Wufei’s expression and smiled grimly.  “I killed his brother.  I didn’t understand it, but I’d never had family before.  That made me feel even more empty inside.”  Kyu paused a moment, fighting the tears she felt at her renewed memories.  “Relena found me when she was searching for Heero’s past, although I didn’t know that then, obviously.  She was just getting involved in politics, and she managed to get me out on the condition that I would be her responsibility.  I never had a life of my own that meant anything.  Hers was enough for both of us.”

      “So you filled the void with revenge.”  Wufei nodded.  He glanced at her face, doubtless reading the ill-concealed emotion in her expression.  “Have you ever told anyone this?”

      Kyu shook her head.  “Wufei...” she managed after a while, laughing a bit, “you must think I’m such a little girl, crying like this.”

      “I don’t.”

      “You always act like that.”

      “Well, I’m a jerk sometimes.  Especially around girls I like.”  He smiled softly at her shocked expression.  “I don’t know why I said that.  A few years ago, I wouldn’t have, you know.  But I’ve changed after these few years.  Even though I’m still the same on the outside, I’ve come to accept that I don’t always have to be strong, that I have my weaknesses...”  He touched her hair with one hand.  “We aren’t that different, I guess.”

      “Wufei...I...”

      “It’s okay.  You’re with Duo.”

      “No, I’m not.”

      “You’re together all the time.”     

      “We’re friends,” she said defensively.

      “I bet he’d love to hear that.”

      “Who cares what he thinks,” Kyu said, grinning at him.  Impulse seized her. “Kiss me?” she asked, opening her eyes in a pleading expression.  Wufei stared at her for a minute, and his lips quirked into a smile as he leaned toward her.  He slid his hand up her neck into her hair, and brushed his lips against hers. His other hand slipped around her waist, and he pulled her close.  She came willingly, and they shared a few moments of blissful passion before they separated.  Kyu suddenly felt overwhelmed.

      She collapsed into Wufei’s shoulder, tears flowing unbidden from her eyes.  She clutched at his shirt.  He stared down at her for a moment, and then said, “Why are you crying?  It wasn’t that bad, was it?”

      “I’m sorry...I just....can’t you just hold me for a while?”  Wufei hesitated, but, after a moment, wrapped his arms tentatively around her quivering form.  Kyu gave in and let herself cry for the first time she could remember.  It felt wonderful.  “Wufei,” she whispered, “Would you mind sleeping beside me tonight?”

      “No, Kyu,” he said softly, and then added as an afterthought, “but we should stay away from the others.  I think Heero might kill me otherwise.”  She laughed, and they held each other for a little longer before going to bed.

 

 

      Quatre felt the world spinning as he regained consciousness.  Am I dying? he thought distantly, and then wondered if he cared.  Callista entered his mind, memories of hot nights and warm mornings, the gentle sound of her breathing and the silk of her hair against his hand.  I can’t bear to lose you.  He felt sensation returning, but managed to bear it in silence despite the excruciating pain that assaulted him.  Ever cautious, he kept his eyes closed, his breathing steady.  After he had managed to control his reaction to the pain, he realized he was not in Sandrock any longer.  Maybe the others had won the battle despite his fall.  Who else would have taken him from the wreckage and still let him live? Unless they wanted him for something.  Information, or ransom, he supposed.

      He listened.  Voices began to tune from amidst the chaos in his head.  “...him.” A masculine voice.

      “You won’t kill him.  He’s useful.”  A feminine voice.  Russian...wheels started turning in his head.  He recognized that voice.  But who was the man?  The real leader of the ORA?

      “Not to me, he isn’t.”

      “Our agreement—“

      “Was for a Gundam, Natasha.  You have your Gundam.  The pilot dies.”

      “The Gundam is useless in this condition.  The pilot, on the other hand, has the information to rebuild it.  Let me have Winner, or else all those dirty little secrets are going to come leaking out.”

      “Fine.  But if he gets out, I’ll have your head.  And I don’t mean that metaphorically.  Take him and lock him up somewhere.”  That last comment was apparently directed to someone other than Kushcrevska, because a pair of large, callused hands lifted him bodily from where he lay.  He cried out then, his eyes fluttering from the pain.

      “He’s waking up,” noted the Russian.  He didn’t like the sound of possession in her voice.  He managed to focus his blurred vision on her face.  “Welcome to the Alaska base, Quatre Winner,” she said, a faint smile dancing over her wine-red lips.  He glanced to the side, and squinted to see a tall, Aryan figure, his dark, cold expression disapproving.  His eyes widened in recognition.  Ross?  The President of the Alliance was controlling Rho?  Suddenly, everything began to make sense.

      He tried to speak, and nothing happened.

      “Not too much,” Natasha said.  “You’ll talk plenty later.”  She motioned to the man that held him upright.  “Take him to the prison, Raúl.  See that he lives, as well.  I have plans for him.”

      The burly man hoisted him to his feet and tried to lead him down the hall.  Quatre fell to the ground, gasping but fighting back the screams of pain he wanted to let loose.  “Carry him if you have to,” Natasha said irritably. 

      Quatre grit his teeth and forced himself to his feet.  He saw a pleased smile alight on Kushcrevska’s face as he allowed himself to be led down the hall.  A moment of despair filled him.  He was broken, and lost, abandoned.  Whatever hope there was, he saw none of it. 

      But he would find it, he resolved. You won’t get what you want from me, he promised her silently.  I’ll find a way to win.  He smiled grimly to himself. I’m a Gundam pilot after all, and we’re used to impossible odds. 

           

 

 

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