I haven’t seen him in weeks, since I walked in on him macking with his old girlfriend. Like, where had she been for the last two years, while I was bleaching his hair and getting him hot wings?

And the worst part was, I came by to get my stuff and my nemesis was there, and he was talking about how great she was! All he ever said to me was, “Will you shut up, Harm?” and “Blahblahblah bugger all sodding France.”

He didn’t even realize that my nemesis was using him to get to me. And that’s just sad.