Ashley and Bernice the Untold Stories
21/05/00
Ashley sat in the semi darkness in the vicarage sitting room staring into space. In his minds eye he could still see the look of blind panic on Bernice’s face when Jason had come into the pub. It all happened so quickly he knew he had no way of warning her and he could still relive the frustrating helplessness he felt at the time. Now , looking back on it , he couldn’t help but worry. It hadn’t taken him long to begin to wonder if her reaction meant that she still had feelings for Gavin. Dianne had told her off and reminded her that Jason had done her a favour by showing her exactly what Gavin was like , and she’d agreed. Still she has still panicked and it had still out him back in her head which was the last thing he wanted. He was disturbed by the sound of the key in the front door.
“Hello” Bernice called from the hall “Ash where are you ?”
“I’m in the sitting room.” he called back
“Betty just seen me let myself in with the key” she said as she entered the room “So you can bet it’ll be the main topic of conversation at the Woolie tonight” She stopped in her tracks as Ashley laughed “Why are you sitting in the dark.” she asked “didn’t you pay the bill ?”
She flicked on the lights at either side of the sofa as Ashley watched. he loved how she seemed so at home , how she never felt like she had to ask permission to do things or act like she was a guest , it was perfect.
“Ash are you OK ?” Bernice asked , realising he hadn’t answered her question
“Yes , Yes I’m fine. I was just watching you thinking how wonderful it is to have you come in here and fuss about. I want you to feel like you can treat this place like you do your own.”
“Fuss about ?” Bernice said , pretending to be annoyed at his characterisation of her actions “So you still haven’t answered my question , why were you sitting in the dark ?”
“I was just thinking , I hadn’t gotten around to switching on the light.”
“Were you thinking about anything I should know about ?”
“No , just stuff”
“Ok , well I thought we might go into Leeds to the cinema and maybe get something to eat. What do you say ?”
Ashley smiled “I love it when you organise me” he said “ It sounds great , just give me a minute or two to change and I’ll be right with you”
********************
20 minutes later they were in the car and on their way “How are you feeling ?” Ashley asked taking one hand off the steering wheel and stroking Bernice’s leg.
“I’m fine now” she answered “Jason came back and I did exactly what Mum said , I smiled and was cheerful and treated him like any other customer. It was the hardest thing I have ever had to do , but I managed.”
“I’m proud of you”
“It’s bound to get easier , I just hope he doesn’t decide to make himself a regular feature”
“I’m sure he won’t” Ashley said as he pulled into the cinema car park “What are we going to see ?”
Bernice looked at the billboard with the film listings on it “I don’t know” she said “We can see Scream 3 for a good scare , or Hanging Up and I’ll be crying on your shoulder”
“Either way I get to cuddle you” Ashley said grinning “So you choose”
“OK , Hanging Up it is. I’ve heard you need a whole box of tissues to get through it”
They went inside and while Ashley bought the tickets Bernice disappeared coming back with the largest tub of popcorn he had ever seen.
“Could you have got a bigger tub ?” He asked laughing
“Well it was better value, and besides if the film is rubbish we can throw it at the people in front of us.”
They both laughed as they made their way to their seats. Once they had found them Bernice rested her head on Ashley’s shoulder as he put his arm around her shoulder. after a few minutes she looked at him.
“You’re quiet tonight” she said “Is something wrong ?”
“No , I’m fine” Ashley replied in an unconvincing tone , Bernice was about to push him for more information when the lights went down and the trailers began. Two hours later they emerged , with Bernice still sniffing rooting around in her bag for more tissues.
“Here you go” Ashley said , handing her a hanky and stopping to give her a hug
“Shall we go get something to eat” she asked as she pulled herself together
“How about we head back to the village and have a drink , then I’ll make us some super at home ?”
“Ok. Yeah , that’s a better idea because I’m sure my make-up is all over the place. I must look terrible.”
Ashley looked at her “You” he said “Could never look terrible”
As they drove hoe Bernice again noticed how quiet he was and made a mental note to get out of him what was bothering him so much. He parked the car in front of the vicarage and they walked to the pub.
“I’m going in the back door” Bernice said “That way I can get straight upstairs and rearrange my face. Are you coming or are you going into the bar ?”
“I’ll go on in and get us some drinks” Ashley replied as he watched her dig out her keys and disappear inside.
“Hi Ashley” Trisha said as he appeared at the bar “What have you done with Bernice ?”
“She’s gone in the back , the film we seen was a little emotional she’s gone to freshen up her make-up”
“Ah , I see. The usual is it ?”
“Yes , and one for Bernice”
Trisha handed him a pint and a glass of red wine and he went to sit in the corner just as Dianne appeared from the back”
“What do you mean making my daughter cry?” she asked sitting down beside him
“I ..... I ....... I didn’t , it was the ........” Ashley stammered as Dianne laughed
“Relax Ashley I was joking , she told me and she says to tell you she’d only be a few minutes”
“Right” he replied smiling weakly. He still was never 100% sure when Dianne was joking and he found it all a little disconcerting. She lifted the glass of wine on the table , motioning to Trisha to bring another one.
“So” Dianne continued “Are you going to tell me what’s wrong ?”
“What on earth do you mean ?”
“Well Bernice is out there convinced she’s done something wrong and that you are annoyed in someway. She says you’ve been quiet all night and she found you sitting in the dark thinking earlier. Now men who think are a new experience for Bernice and I’ve told her she’s over reacting. Is she ?”
Ashley looked at the table without answering
“I’ll take that as a no” Dianne said
“it’s not her , it’s this whole thing with Jason. Do you think , given her reaction , that she’s not really over Gavin ?”
It was Dianne’s turn to look at the table as she thought carefully about her response “Look Ashley” she said at last “ Only one person can answer that question for you , only she knows for sure. I’ll tell you one thing , I’ve never seen her so happy , not with Gavin nor anyone else for that matter. As for this morning again only she can tell you how she felt and why she reacted like she did , but it had to have been a shock”
“So you think I should talk to her about it ?”
“I do. look here she comes. Just ask her , what have you got to loose ?” Dianne said as she got up
“Everything” Ashley thought to himself “I’ve got everything to loose”
Bernice sat down were Dianne had just been “Where’s my drink ?” she asked
“Your mum drank it” Ashley said
“Typical !” Bernice said “I’ll just get another”
“Would you mind if we went home I really need to talk to you” Ashley said looking at her intently
******************
Back at the vicarage Ashley opened a bottle of wine and handed Bernice a glass. “Ash what’s this all about?” she asked “You’ve been really strange all evening”
He sat down beside her shifting nervously “Are you happy ?” he asked
“With you ?” Bernice asked , the surprise obvious on her face
“Yes”
“Of course I am. Why ?”
“Well it was just , the way you reacted this afternoon when Jason appeared , I was worried that you maybe still had feelings for Gavin”
Bernice could feel the tears sting the backs of her eyes , in the whole horrible shock of it all she hadn’t thought how he might be feeling or how he might interpret her reaction.
“I’m so sorry” she said “I never thought that it might put doubts in your mind. I promise you I am completely over him. I’ve never been as happy as I am when I’m with you. I didn’t think it was possible for someone to love me as much as you do , I know you’ll never hurt me and I feel so safe and happy just knowing your here and you’ll be here no matter what. You are the best thing that has ever happened to me and I could never go back to Gavin after you. As for what happened today. It was like in that instant when i seen him I was back there again , in that room seeing it all again and for a split second the pain was so real again. But it was only a split second and when he was gone it was you I wanted to hold my hand and tell me everything would be alright. I don’t want Gavin , nor anyone else I only want you.”
“I just kept thinking how awful it would be if I lost you” Ashley said , taking her hand
She kissed him , a long lingering kiss that said everything. “I’m not going anywhere” she whispered as she took his hand and lifting her glass of wine lead him up the stairs.
