IN THE CHAIR WITH SAMANTHA GILES (TV TIMES 20-26 May 2000)
Q Bernice has finally found a man who loves and respects her for herself, Just as you have In your own life. Is it simply a happy coincidence?
A Definitely touch wood ! I feel very happy and content with Nick, who I'm getting married to in September. I met him when I was temping, before I got the part on Emmerdale, and it makes such a difference, because I know it's totally me he loves. From our very first date, I knew I wanted to marry him. We just clicked so well, I felt very comfortable with him and could tell him anything.
Q He's also given you a new confidence, you say, and made you feel happier about your looks. You were quite Insecure In that area in the past weren't you?
A Yes, it only takes little things to feed your insecurities. I remember going out with a chap once when I was 16 and him telling me I'd be alright if I lost a couple of stone. I chucked him immediately! But that sort of thing stays with you, and I've never had much confidence with clothes and knowing what to wear. Nick's the first man to say nice things about how I look.
Q You used to be three stone heavier than you are now, much of which you put on at university, where you found people pretentious and were thoroughly miserable - was It comfort eating?
A It was, and also I was worried about getting into debt, so I filled myself up on chocolate bars and jam - I didn't leave with a huge overdraft, I just left fat! After university I was very depressed for several months, and the weight just dropped off. I've stayed at the same weight now for quite a long time so I imagine that's what I'm meant to be. Sometimes I think I really must lose weight from my bottom, but you have to get these things in perspective.
Q What got you out of that depression?
A I started working in an old people's home to earn a bit of money while l was trying to get acting jobs. They were such a nice bunch of people there and I just threw myself into it and that human contact helped an awful lot. I had a change of attitude, decided I was going to be positive, moved, got a new agent and finished with a boyfriend who hadn't been good for me. I realised it didn't matter if I wasn't getting parts, I was still a valuable person and worthy of being talked to politely and treated properly. If you don't respect yourself no one else will. Shortly afterwards I met Nick, and landed the part in Emmerdale.
Q You're a firm believer In the power of positive thought, which you describe as 'a kind of magic we learn not to use'. what magical things have you done?
A I did it before Nick asked me to marry him because I was feeling I really needed the relationship to go somewhere else. Although we'd been together 16 months, for me it felt an awful long time, having known he was the one from day one, so I did quite a lot of 'magic' or positive thoughts and he proposed within the month. I was going to repeat the process every month, but I didn't have to! I'm sure it sounds absolute rubbish, and I suppose you could say he might have proposed anyway, but it's whatever works for you, it's just belief really.
Q What do your magic thoughts consist of?
A You have to picture what you want to happen, and it helps to use symbols, perhaps a photo near you of the person you re thinking of or something that belongs to them, and if you believe in the power of the moon and the elements, it helps if you use them. If you're doing a ritual like that, even if it's just in your head, you can't really tell anyone else how you did it because it almost breaks it, so I don't want to say exactly what I did - but I did use Nick's photo and the new moon, because it's waning and is supposed to bring things to you.
Q Does Nick know you "used” the moon like that?
A No, he doesn't! He'll think, sad old cow! Though afterwards he did know I'd been desperate for it to happen for ages.
Q It's quite well known that you've been reading Tarot cards since you were 17 and even had a Tarot stall in London's Covent Garden - but you've also got a talent for reading people's handwriting haven't you?
A I have to be in the mood for it, but, yes, that's how Nick and I first got talking, because I did his handwriting. He was quite taken aback by what I told him about himself and it made him think, 'Hmmm'. It's not something I learnt, it's just feeling and intuition.
Q Is Nick getting used to you living by your Intuition?
A Yes, I think we've taught each other quite a lot like that. We're well suited. He's very musical and I think I've probably brought out that creative side of him more. And he's made me a little bit more grounded - I tend to be more emotional and volatile whereas he's very stable and logical. I definitely feel a lot more secure with him there.
Q Apart from Nick, what makes you fool secure and happy?
A Music - if ever I feel low I put it on, it's so therapeutic. People will probably find this naff, but I'm really into Cat Stevens at the moment, it's so uplifting. Morning Has Broken makes me go tingly down my back and we want to have that played as we leave the church. I also enjoy writing poetry and short stories, and I'm a great practical joker - I'm always winding people up about storylines. When John Middleton [who plays Ashley, inset left] and I had to do the first episode with us in bed, the script said it had to look like he was naked, so I wound him up and told him he was to be naked, then that he had to wear a flesh coloured G-string. I just didn't stop, I was awful. You could see he was half excited, half mortified! He's very easy to wind up.
Q How much longer will yen stay In Emmerdale?
A I'm contracted until Christmas. My agent would probably like me to leave then but I'd like to do another year. I enjoy Emmerdale so much, the people are lovely and I don't think another year would do any harm.
Q You're big on colours and what they say about people and last time we spoke yen were heavily into red, which is meant to be sexual energy?
A My sofa's red but I like to be surrounded by yellow at the moment. I want our new lounge and dining area yellow - it's really uplifting and bright, like a new beginning. But red's not so much in my head as it was, no.
Q I suppose then yon were in the throes of your romance, and now you've got to be down to earth and plan your wedding
A Yes, yes! Oh God, don't!
