9/2/01
I just returned from spending a little quality time with my mom. We went to the movies and ended up seeing The Princess Diaries because according to my parental unit, she'd been trying to get someone to see it with her for the last month. I didn't really mind because the movie didn't look all that bad, and you may call me weird, but I enjoy spending time with my mom. She's damn cool. As we were looking for seats I noticed that besides the two old ladies in the second row, my mom and I were pretty much the oldest people in the theater. It was mostly a bunch of people with their little kids. The movie turned out to be really cute and I can sympathize with the main character who struggled to drive her mustang through the streets of San Francisco. I hate driving in SF and avoid it at all costs. The movie even featured one of songs that Howie Dorough wrote (What Makes You Different Makes You Beautiful.) Mandy Moore's acting ability is as strong as her singing voice, which is a very nice way of saying that she sucks massive balls.
So I'm sure you're wondering why this is in the 'N ews of 'N suck section since I haven't mentioned those faggots once. Well here's where they come into my semi-pleasant afternoon at the movies. Before the flick started I was subjected to an awful five minute preview of the movie starring Lance Bass and Joey Fat-One. As soon as I saw a giant Lance Bass appear on the screen, I groaned loudly and said, "Oh that's just wonderful. Now they're torturing us through cinema too??" at which point several of the parents around me started to chuckle including my mother. From what I could tell, the storyline of the predictable romantic comedy revolves around Lance's character who meets a pretty girl on the subway and lets her walk away without getting her name or number. At the insistent prodding of Lance's friends (Joey Fatone--who fills up the entire screen with his fat ass--and bunch of other morons), Lance puts up posters all over the city looking for the girl. At one point during the preview they show the pretty girl walking away as Lance attempts to chase after her. I chose this point to loudly proclaim "If I were her, I'd be running away too." I got a couple laughs from that one but my mom told me I should stop because there was alot of little kids in the theater who probably look up to them. I agreed with her because I wouldn't want anyone making comments like that about someone I looked up to as a child....I'm reminded of my favorite show Pee-Wee's Playhouse that my mom and dad continued to let me watch without telling me of Paul Reubens indiscretions. I wouldn't want to be the one to pop some kids bubble and tell them that the members of 'Nsync are not who they appear to be. Anywhoooooo.....I'm sure these previews will be playing in other theaters as well as lurking on your own TV sets at home. I just wanted to warn everyone heading to their local cinema to beware of the 50 foot versions of Lance Bass and Joey Fatone.
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