Chapter 16
It rang in my head. "Congratulations." As if it were a good thing. I listened to her talk about how she could be my gynecologest and she mumbled things about costs and finally I heard her say: "Aren't you that girl from Saturday Night Live?"
I stared at the phone. "Yes." I muttered.
"Oh, wow. You don't sound good darling, are you alright? Weren't you expecting this? Do you know who the father is?"
"Yes" I whispered, not wanting to turn around to look at the girls, knowing exactly what expression I'd see on their faces.
"Well, we're going to have to take some more tests. So, if you could bring in the father tomorrow at 8:00A.M., we can do some more tests and figure some things out. Are you sure you're alright, Miss Ferry?" she asked, barely being polite.
"I'm fine." I said, and hung up. "I'm fine," I whispered over and over again, finally crying.
"Oh, fuck." I heard Fawn say as I turned around.
"I'm pregnant." I said clearly, as if they hadn't known. "For the next nine months, I'm gonna be a fat fucking bitch who won't get her period. I'm gonna have to fucking see a doctor everyday to make sure this fucking thing living inside of me will come out of my damn pussy alright." I was raising my voice. "And the worst thing is, I'm going to have to tell Jimmy."
"Oh, Cat..." Audra whispered.
"I never thought you would be the first one of all of us to get pregnant, Kitty.. I figured it'd be Fawn," Flora smiled, trying to lighten up the atmosphere.
Fawn gave her a quick dirty look then stared back at me. "Cat, think of it this way.You are going to have a child. Your going to be there when she learns to tie her shoes, or goes to kindergarten. Your gonna be there when your daughter comes home crying because she got a B- on her test, and your going to smile and say 'its alright'. Your going to be there when your daughter comes home saying she wants tickets to the new concert, and your going to be there when she gets married." Fawn whispered. "Your bringing a new life into this world, and honey, you should be thankful to God that the father is someone you love."
I looked up at her, realizing what was happening inside of me and what a big deal it was. "The father, Fawn? He's supposed to be someone I love?" I was getting so angry at myself for letting Jimmy do this to me--no, it was me. I convinced him it would be alright. I told him I was on The Pill... maybe I forgot to take it? "How is he going to love me now that I'm going to have to tell him something like this??"
Chapter 17