Chapter 32
God, he was gorgeous. I wanted to be with him, but why can't I? What was holding me back? Why was I holding myself back? His lips lightly brushed mine, as if asking permission to kiss me. His hand wandered to my waist while the other held my face close to his. Finally, he tilted his head and kissed me. His lips lingered there for a second, though it felt like forever. I couldn't move or kiss back. He pulled away and looked me in the eye. This time, I leaned in, opening my mouth so we could use tongue. I put my hands around his neck and played with his hair, as his tongue entered my mouth. They danced for a second, long enough to satisfy urges but not long enough to confirm what I wanted. God, he was a good kisser. It was then that it all sank in. I was kissing Jim... wasn't that what he wanted yesterday? A kiss? I pulled away. "There." I said, acting like I meant to do that. "You got your kiss. Now what is it you want more than anything else in the world?" I smiled smugly, thinking I was hurting him. I don't know why... I wanted him to feel bad for walking out on me when I needed him the most... though it was my fault.
"I want you to be my girlfriend, Cat."
His answer took me off guard. "Why?" I asked huskily, almost sounding harsh.
His expressions hardened. "Why? Why do you have to be like this? I--" he stopped, trying to regain himself. "You've never acted like this before, Cathy." He paused, waiting for a reason. I stood there, dumbfounded... why did I feel like I didn't know him? "Alright, what the fuck is your problem?" I blinked. Did he just say that? Or was it me? "Don't you know I'm in love with you?" Okay, it was him. I'm trying to think, Jim... gimme a chance. "Say something!"
I wasn't in love with him. I stared at him, about to say the most cliche thing ever. "This is gonna sound stupid to you, Jimmy.. it's gonna sound... cliche. But hear me out." He nodded, slightly impatient. "I love you, okay? But I'm not in love with you." he was confused. "I wanna be friends with you."
"Friends?" He was angry. "Do friends lead each other on the way you do with me?"
"God, Jimmy, chill the fuck out. I'm only trying to make this work." I said, trying to calm him down.
"Your trying to make this work? Trying to make.. alright. It doesn't seem like your trying to hard, Cat. Cuz if you were trying to 'make this work', we'd be together."
He was right.
Give It A Shot Part II