June 3, 1929-July 8, 2000
Daddy had recently told Pam that he had had a good life and not to be sad at his
passing.
So this is a celebration of a life well lived; the life of our dad, John Leroy
Maitlen.
Born the second child of Cassius Edward and Grace Gee Maitlen, Daddy graduated from Norfolk (pronounced Nor-fork) before attending Oklahoma A&M (which later became Oklahoma State University.) He grew up in the Yale area with his two sisters Bonnie (Pope) and Ruthelma (Holmes)
and with older brother Gene and Darrell, the youngest.
Never written up in a society column, Daddy’s life will not be mentioned in any history book. When people talk about success, as defined the world, Daddy’s name won’t come up.
He always said that while we weren't rich, our family was wealthy in love.
On August 24, 1952, when he was 23, Daddy married 18 year old Dorothy Carol "Dot" Griffeth, a girl whom, he would later tease
,"couldn’t boil water". Mother became a great cook and he praised her cooking ability, preferring her cooking over any restaurant, especially after years of eating out, while on the road. A loving husband, he enjoyed picking a bouquet of flowers for her.
Between 1954 and 1958 the couple had four daughters Deborah,who lives in Kellyville with her husband, Jerry Tuggle and two sons Jon and
Marc; Beverly married to Johnny Barnes lives in Tulsa; Pamela the wife of Tom Lynch and mother of Jenny lives in Stillwater and Edie who lives in Cushing with husband Danny Rogers and daughters Shelley and Andrea.
In 1980, Daddy took early retirement from TransCon and started Maitlen Dozer and Backhoe, which he operated until his passing.
At a little more than 6’2" we looked up to him in more ways than one. He encouraged us to never let anyone convince us that
we couldn’t do something.
Like his mom, he was not a complainer, even after brain surgery, heart attacks, strokes and many other health problems people outside the family didn’t know about. His strong faith in God got him
through. Though we knew he was in pain he would tell us he was doing fine and was more interested in how we were.
Teaching by example Daddy never told us "do as I say, not as I do". He never expected us to do something he wasn’t willing to do himself.
Christmas Day 1979, with his head still bandaged from brain surgery, Daddy quietly began filling plates for a family he knew would not have a Christmas. His own meal waited while he delivered their dinner to them while still hot.
Asked why he had never smoked, drank or sworn he explained that his Grandfather Gee promised him and and his brother Gene each a bicycle if they reached a certain age without doing those things. They each got their bikes. When told that he could have started after that, Daddy quietly said, "A promise is a promise." And he kept that promise his whole life.
When Pam was young she once confided to Grandmother that Daddy " had gotten so mad" that he had said
"Hot Dog!", which was the worst thing we ever heard him say.
After being on the road, for days at a time, he said riding on a tractor made him feel like he was close to heaven. He enjoyed the John Deere items his family members gave him.
God first. Family second. Everyone who knew him knew his family meant everything to him. His family included the sons-in-law,
step-grandchildren, his grandaughters fiance and his numerous friends. He always felt like he knew the nicest people!
He loved being Grandpa to his “Shelley Babe”, the oldest; Jon his namesake, Andrea who rode the backhoe with him, Jenny whom he couldn’t wait to move back from South Africa, Marc whom, like his grandfather, loves scouting and whom is working to become an eagle scout and John Barnes, his grandson by acceptance, whose favorite place in the world is Grandpa’s pond.
Graciously, Daddy thanked us for birthday money but would insist that we keep it to spend on ourselves. After his passing, those uncashed checks were found in his wallet and his Bible.
On a trip to Disneyland, Bev suggested she could get in for the younger kids rate. Daddy told her that even if no one else ever found out, it was still wrong and you never really win by cheating.
Daddy loved helping others especially those who knew couldn’t give anything back. He chose to do it in a quiet way so others wouldn’t know and the recipient wouldn’t be embarrassed. He always told us not to make fun of others because we didn’t know the whole story.
He left us before getting everything done that he wanted to do. We realize that with the plans and ideas he had Daddy wouldn’t have ever gotten everything done although he sure tried to by working hard every day, even if he shouldn’t have been.
Choosing for himself to stay in the background he always encouraged us. He’d tell Mother he sure had wonderful daughters and she would remind him that she had played a part. Every time we talked to him, though we never did anything big, he would tell us that he was “so proud of his girls”.
It was easy for us to believe in a Heavenly Father because of the example Daddy set with
his gentleness, compassion and above all unconditional love. Always the peacemaker, he never corrected us with harsh words. He knew simply saying he was disappointed in our actions was worse than any other form of punishment. He reminded us that he may not agree with what we did but he’d always love us. When we think about Daddy it is with joy.
He gave us stability.
In the years that he traveled, Daddy he would kiss us and say simply "So
Long", since goodbye was final.
He had to again learn to walk after his stroke in April of this year. Typical of his determination to want to get things done a little over a month later we would catch him without even a cane.
Shortly afterwards he was again running and working on the backhoe.
On July 8, Daddy parked the tractor under the shade tree, walked to the park bench to visit with his best friend, who was the mother of his children and his wife of almost 48 years. Sitting close, he said her name one last time and went to be with our Lord and Savior.
No goodbye; good byes are final. As Christians we do rejoice that we are assured eternal life and will see him again.
So Long, Daddy.
On July 9th, as we walked up to the door of the funeral home, two butterflies lit on Mothers face for a brief moment. Not knowing what it was, she reached up to brush them off. Edie told her they were butterfly kisses. (As most people know a butterfly is symbolic of
the resurrection of Christ and the new life we can have with Him.)
Click on this for something really beautiful
Make Me An Instrument
(the last song at Daddy's service)
Lord make me an instrument of Your peace
Where there is hatred let me show love
And where there is injury, pardon
And where there is doubt, then faith
And where there's despair, then hope
It's in dying that I will be born
And in giving that I will receive
In loving that I will be loved
This is my faith
It is what I believe
Lord make me an instrument
Lord I am a stranger traveling
In a brutal yet wondrous land
Far from the promise of home
On a journey led by your hand
To where the lion lies down
With the lamb
Father grant that I'd never seek
To be comforted as to console
Let the blood of Your Son cover me
Touching my spirit
Seizing my soul
Lord make me an instrument
Let Your divine mystery guide my heart
Christ within me
Christ before me
Christ behind me
Christ above me
Christ beneath me
To my left and to my right
Christ where I lie
And where I arise
Christ in the hearts of all who think of me
Christ on the lips of all who speak of me
Christ in the eyes of all who see me
Make me Your instrument Lord
Success
To laugh often and much,
to win the respect
of intelligent people
and the affection of children;
to earn the
of honest critics
and endure
the betrayal of false friends;
to appreciate beauty,
to find the best in others;
to leave the world
a bit better,
whether
by a healthy child,
a garden patch
or a redeemed social condition;
to know even one life
has breathed easier
because you have lived.
That is to have succeeded.
Ralph Waldo Emerson
Thank Yous
To the Reverend Milo Steffins II, whom we call simply Milo.
We could see exhaustion in your face many times but in your eyes there was always compassion. We will never forget how you arrived home from Tulsa, after a long day, to find out that Daddy was in Hillcrest. You immediately drove back to Tulsa to be with Mother.
We appreciate how, when asked, you shared stories with us about your childhood. From those we realize you are just a man; a kind and caring man (who sometimes can’t tell black socks from blue) doing Gods work.
From the Family of John Maitlen-
We have been blessed by you wonderful people! Not a single act of kindness went unnoticed. Thank you for helping complete the projects he left unfinished, at his passing. The phone calls, cards, food, the flowers, the words of support and all the special things you did are truly comforting. Thank you for continuing to share with us the memories you have of him. It helps to keep him close. Our prayer is for God to bless each of you for so willingly and generously reaching out to us.
Mrs John (Dot) Maitlen
Debbie & Jerry Tuggle
Beverly & Johnny Barnes
Pam &Tom Lynch
Edie & Danny Rogers
More of Daddy's sayings:
As we walked in the cemetary at the gravesite services we remembered to watch where we walked. He told us that we should always respect others, even in death, by not walking on their graves, but around them.
Note sent to Mother from Jo Holman
A million times I've needed you,
A Million times I've cried. If love alone could have save you
You never would have died.
In life I loved you dearly.
In death, I love you still.
In my heart you hold a special place
No one else could ever fill
It broke my heart to lose you
but you didn't go alone
for part of me went with you
the day God took you home.
Stillwater NewsPress Found on the internet Aug 17,2000
John L. Maitlen
John L. Maitlen, 71, died Saturday, July 8, 2000, at his home east of Cushing.
Services will be at 10 a.m. Wednesday at First Christian Church in Cushing with Rev. Milo Steffen, pastor, officiating. Interment will follow in Euchee Valley Cemetery east of Cushing under the direction of Palmer Funeral Home.
Maitlen was born June 3, 1929, in Cushing to Cassius and Grace (Gee) Maitlen. He received his early education at the Norfolk school and graduated from Norfolk High School in 1948. He attended Oklahoma A&M, which became Oklahoma State University.
He married Dorothy "Dot" Griffeth Aug. 24, 1952, in the Presbyterian Church in Cushing. They made their home in Cushing, where they lived since.
Maitlen worked in the oilfields. He retired from Transcon and owned Maitlen Dozer and Backhoe for the past 20 years.
He was a member of First Christian Church in Cushing and served as a deacon until his health made it necessary to resign.
Maitlen was predeceased by his parents and one brother, Darrell.
Survivors include his wife, Dorothy "Dot" Maitlen, of the home; four daughters, Debbie Tuggle and her husband Jerry of Kelleyville, Beverly Maitlen-Barnes and her husband Johnny of Tulsa, Pamela Lynch and her husband Tom of Stillwater and Edie Rogers and her husband Danny of Cushing; one brother, Gene Maitlen and his wife Peggy of Cushing; two sisters, Bonnie Pope of Bartlesville and Ruth Holmes and her husband Dale of Cushing; six grandchildren, Shelley Rogers, Jon Tuggle, Andrea Rogers, Jennifer Lynch, Marc Tuggle and John Barnes; a sister-in-law, Dorothy "DiDi" Maitlen of Denver, Colo.; a sister and brother-in-law, Betty and Ray Gordy of Inola.
Pallbearers will be Jim Roe, Randy Maitlen, Cash Maitlen, Jon Tuggle, Marc Tuggle and Tony Maitlen. Honorary pallbearers will be Herb Chastain, Scott Chastain, Jerry Tuggle, Johnny Barnes, Tom Lynch, Danny Rogers, Gene Maitlen and Mason Maitlen.
Memorials may be made to First Christian Church, 300 E. Moses, Cushing, Okla., 74023.
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Compassion Legacy
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