Justice is made of facts. That's the basis of our world, not ideas.
Judge Block: Do you have anything to add to your defence
before I hand down the sentence?
Maurice: Defence? I'm innocent. I've already been proven
innocent.
Judge Block: In my courtroom, insanity is not a defence
to murder.
Maurice: Who are you people?
Judge Block: Madam prosecutor, anything further?
Calca June: For the record, your honour, the people seek
maximum penalty.
Judge Block: So noted. Will the defendant step forward?
Maurice Momomammut, on the charge
of murder, this court finds you... guilty.
Maurice: You can't do this. I've already been tried.
I'm insane!
Calca June: Maurice Momomammut, you are hereby sentenced
to death by electrocution.
Maurice: You can't do this! I'm insane! You can't do
this! I'm insane! No! Don't, please! This is a joke, right? [ praying ]
Judge Block: One by one. Justice is a fearful thing.
Calca June: But a beautiful one.
Fife: Ready.
Judge Block: Then...proceed.
[Maurice wakes up screaming.]
Nastasia: Momo, what is it?
Maurice: I was having a...a dream. I was back in court
being tried again.
Nastasia: It's all right, baby.
Maurice: No, it wasn't like a regular court. There were
these awful cops, and it was like the...stormtroopers.
[Storm troopers enter the house]
Maurice: No! Don't touch her! No! No! Don't touch her!
Fife: Where's the switch, ma'am?
Maurice: Don't tell them.
Nastasia: You shouldn't have screwed me over, Momo. The
switch is on the wall, officer.
Maurice: This is just like the dream.
Nastasia: This is the dream, you dumb schmuck.
Judge Block: You're back in the chair, paying your debt
to society.
Maurice: [back in the electric chair] No!
Calca June: Well?
Judge Block: Well... thanks for a job well done.
Calca June: You keep capturing the criminals, and I'll
keep prosecuting them. So...who's next?
Judge Block: Take your pick.
Action!
Dobrinsky: ...and the agency award for best overseas hit
goes to... Agent Fraulein Bursner.
[ music ]
Fraulein: Danke.
Li Ann: This whole thing is pointless. It means nothing.
Like, who cares who wins, right?
Mac: Li Ann, you're a shoo-in for rookie of the year.
What are you talking about?
Jackie: Well, I think it's kind of cool. I even wrote
a speech. Just in case I win.
Li Ann: That's nice.
Victor: I'm sensing a little team rivalry between you
two.
Director: Natter, natter. Is jealousy running deep at
table 8? Can't you just be happy and enjoy the evening? Victor, I'm going
to have to think up a special bonus for you... for making me look so good.
[kisses Victor on the cheek.]
Dobrinsky: And now, here to present the rookie of the
year award, the winners of best assassination 10 years running, our
good friends Murphy and Camier.
Murphy: It is an utter honour to present the award which
marks outstanding achievement by an agency freshman.
Camier: Candidates are culled from a cuttingly competitive
litter. And the nominees are... Amber Amidovsky...
Murphy: Jackie Janczyk...
Mac: This is you.
Li Ann: Whatever.
Camier: ...and Li Ann Tsei.
Mac: Yeah!
Murphy: And the rookie of the year award goes to...
Camier: I insist.
Murphy: Then I defer. Miss Jackie Janczyk.
Jackie: Oh, my god! Rah! So out there. Anyway...I want
to thank, you know, everybody who helped me and, well, you know
who you are. [walks back to table] Well, aren't you gonna say anything?
Li Ann: You worked on that speech?
Jackie: Well, it's nice to be recognized by your peers.
Li Ann: Yeah, if that's what's important to you.
Jackie: Can't you just admit that you wanted to win?
Li Ann: It's a joke. It's a hunk of glass.
Jackie: You know, it's funny. It doesn't feel like a
joke. Go on. You can hold it.
Li Ann: No thanks, shorty.
Jackie: Oh, shorty. That is so below the belt.
Li Ann: Yeah, well, so are you. [Jackie knocks a drink
over onto Li Ann's dress. They get into a cat fight.]
Jackie: Scrag.
Li Ann: Cow.
Mac: Oh, ladies. Couple of the guys just asked me to thank
you for last night's entertainment.
Victor: It was very... very, uh, special.
Mac: You know, you can probably live a whole life without
seeing two girls fight like that.
Victor: Yeah, but you know, a lot of guys like kind of
thing.
Li Ann: But you two are above all that, right?
Director: Four dead bodies.
Mac: You mean us?
Director: Oh, don't tempt me. Four dead bodies, all electrocuted.
Each of them found in a different area of town. Local police
are at a loss.
Mac: And there would be...
Director: A connection, yes. All of them were at one
time or another arrested and tried, but not convicted. Not for lack of
evidence, rather simple technicalities. This was Maurice Momomammut. You
two scour his past, and try and find
out if there are any other links between the four victims. Leave. This
is your case.
Jackie: What's Pinky's?
Director: Your new employer. Our sources tell us that
they're a pack of boys and girls with a Wall Street approach to crime,
so go get a job.
Li Ann: Um...ahem, what about me?
Director: You are going to the hall of records to get
me a Form 389 Summary Report.
Li Ann: You're not going to kill me after I embarrassed
you in front of the other directors?
Director: Oh, now, that's not a reason for me to punish
you, is it?
[ music ]
Jackie: This is the coolest place. Everyone here is so
friendly. Like, I really want to work for you guys, 'cause, like, I got
lots
of experience in this business, and I need a job. But, I mean, you do such
great work, you know, and I just
thought, you know, maybe I could do some great work for you too, right,
but... you know, I'm really, like, a humongo
fan of, like, bar...food.
Ganz: [walks up] Hey, baby.
Jackie: Hi.
Ganz: Nice, uh, handle, Jackie. The name's Ganz, chairman
of the board.
Jackie: Ooh!
Assistant: I was just telling Jackie that we're the best
game in town.
Ganz: Well, that's 10s all around. So, Jackie, you, um,
you look familiar. I know you from somewhere?
Jackie: Have you ever been to Henny's swing club in Maple?
Ganz: Maple. Everyone's swung in Maple. That's where
it's at.
Jackie: So, when do I find out if I get a corner booth
with a bitchin' view?
Ganz: Oh, Jackie, Jackie. Look, you're, um, you're really
sweet and all, but what makes you think that I'm just giving you a
job?
Jackie: Well, Bartholomew, I understand you do a lot
more than just sell spirits here.
Ganz: How, um, how did you know my name was Bartholomew?
Jackie: Credit card.
Ganz: You're good. And you are just scratching the surface.
See, I hear that you got some major criminal riffs going on here.
And
I'm the best at most of them. Ask around. Just ask for Jackie Janczyk.
Ganz: Maybe I'll do that.
Mac: Those burn marks are from an electric chair. Can
you believe society would do that any more? It's, like, so barbaric.
Victor: Sometimes you got to send a message, right? Like
Jackie did with Li Ann.
Mac: Oh, wait a minute. Jackie might have started it.
Li Ann finished it.
Victor: It got broken up. We have no idea how it would
have turned out.
Mac: Ok, Mr. ex-cop, with your detective skills, who
would have won?
Victor: One on one. No weapons.
Mac: Yeah, baby.
Victor: I don't know. Jackie, she's got the strength,
right?
Mac: Yeah, but come on. Li Ann's got speed, she's got
finesse.
Victor: That's true -- well, still, it would be a pretty
good scrap.
Mac: I mean, we're talking from a purely scientific martial
arts point of view.
Victor: That's what I'm saying.
Mac: I know, I know you are.
Ganz: Hey. Hey, you new here? Mikey hire you?
Fife: Yeah. You a regular?
Ganz: Hey, I'm Ganz. I own the joint.
Fife: Ganz, eh? Too bad. [knocks Ganz out and drags him
away.]
Calca June: You're a slippery fish, Mr. Ganz. Counterfeit.
Ganz: So? Call a cop.
Calca June: They'd just let you go. Anyway, we don't
want you for mere counterfeiting, Mr. Ganz. We want you for your
manslaughter charge.
Ganz: You can't do a thing about that one, ok? I walked
from it.
Calca June: There's nothing worse than being half right,
Mr. Ganz. It's true, you walked away from your trial. But it's not true
that we can't do anything about it.
Ganz: Are you nuts? Why the hell would you want to do
that?
Judge Block: Pro bono publico, that's why. For the public
good.
Calca June: Meet Judge Block, Mr. Ganz. He'll be sentencing
you.
Ganz: Yeah. Nice hair. Look, I don't know who the hell
you people are, but my babies are going to notice I'm missing. And
they're going to start looking for me.
Judge Block: Good -- some of your babies, as you put
it, are already on our list for their previous escapes from...justice.
Calca June: The wheels of God grind slowly, but they
grind exceeding fine.
Judge Block: The world will be the better for the cleansing
of you.
Ganz: Hey. Hey, I know her. The blonde bombshell. Whst
did she do to get on your list?
Calca June: She was a mob boss, arrested but mysteriously
freed.
Ganz: You want a hard-to-snag, heavily protected mafia
chick or a small-time guy like me? I mean, I'm nowhere, man. I'm a
footnote.
Judge Block: Perhaps Mr. Ganz is onto something. And
the opportunity to capture a...master
criminal, well, it would be unethical of us to squander that.
Ganz: Hey, you leave me alone... I'll hand her to you.
And you can throw her in that hot seat of yours. What do you say?
Elevator Guy: So what you got to do is go up to 13. Do
you play golf?
Li Ann: No.
Elevator Guy: Well, if you did, it'd be about a four
iron from where you got to go from there. [ coughing ]
Li Ann: 13th floor.
Elevator Guy: 13th floor.
[ ding ]
Elevator Guy: Second floor.
[ ding ]
Elevator Guy: Third floor.
Victor: I don't know, man. That's, that's a tricky one.
Very, very hard to figure.
Mac: Wonder Woman, man. She'd take her to town.
Victor: Ah, see, my money's on Supergirl. I mean, she's,
she's very, well, she's super.
Mac: Vic, we're talking about a magic lasso.
Victor: We're talking about an invisible jet. How did
she ever find it, let alone fly it?
Mac: She's Wonder Woman.
Nathan: The Knights of Malta have been using invisible
aircraft for years. They were developed to support the forces of
Queen Elizabeth in her power struggle with Jackie O. the Queen and Jackie
O. all over control of the world's
supply of sugar cane. Then again, everything's over sugar cane. The hand
that handles sugar cane rules the world.
Victor: Queen and Jackie O, what do you think?
Mac: Easy. Queen. You can't beat the blueblood.
Victor: Plus she's got the weight.
Nathan: Here's the files. Momomammut worked with his
wife, Nastasia. They were contract killers. On their last job they got
nailed. Momo used Nastasia to cut himself a deal.
Victor: He testified against her?
Nathan: Yeah. They let him plead insanity and she took
the fall. She wound up with 10 years.
Mac: She in Millhaven?
Nathan: Hewlitzer.
Victor: Ooh, hard time.
Nathan: I know. [Mac and Vic look at Nathan strangely]
I used to temp there.
[ ding ]
Elevator Guy: Fifth floor.
[ coughing ]
[ music ]
Ganz: Hey, baby.
Jackie: It's the Ganz man. Oh, my god, what the hell
happened to you?
Ganz: Come on, walk with me. See, all my babies were
hand-picked. They all have special skills. You, you're not just a
specialist--
see, you have all the skills.
Jackie: Yeah, well, I'm into vertical integration. Look
what happened to Microsoft. Why'd you ditch me?
Ganz: One thousand reasons. [holds up a thousand dollar
bill]
Jackie: That's a whole lot of pennies.
Ganz: Mm-hmm. Tonight, in the early a.m., you and Ganz
are going to lift some printing plates from the Mint, get us some
large
Cs. You do well, you're in.
[ ding ]
Elevator Guy: 13th floor.
Li Ann: [goes out and asks guard] Uh, do you know where
I can get a Form 389 Summary Report?
[Guard points to door.]
Nastasia: I swear to you, it's gruel. It's got to be illegal
to serve people gruel, right?
Victor: I don't know, my mother served it, so I...
Nastasia: Oh, well, helps me keep my girlish figure.
So what's up with you guys? I already talked to the cops.
Victor: You mean recently?
Nastasia: Yeah, last week.
Mac: Who'd you talk to? Killian? Loy?
Nastasia: I don't know. They were cops, right? You know,
bad haircuts, discount suits. A man and a woman. Said they were
from 16th division.
Victor: That's a little out of their jurisdiction. What
did they want?
Nastasia: They were after my husband. I mean my rat fink,
lying, dead husband, Momo. They said he was in trouble. Guess
that was an understatement, seeing as how he's been electrocuted.
Victor: Sorry about that.
Nastasia: Don't be. He got me 10 to 20 in this finishing
school, and I never hurt anybody. I just drove the car. He did all the
killing. I love the guy, but I hope his fat ass fries in hell.
Mac: Do you have any idea who'd want him dead, though?
Nastasia: Besides me? Well, just about anybody who's
ever met him. They'd want him dead. So, what are you doing after
work?
Victor: Who me? I, uh, I'm busy, actually. I got to clean
my guns, I got to sort my eight-tracks.
Nastasia: I wasn't talking to you. You. Want to stay
for a conjugal?
Mac: Um...
[ whistle blowing ]
Mac: I just got out of a relationship.
Nastasia: They got a nice trailer. Feels like home. No?
How about you?
Victor: Oh, me, I'm, uh...same as him.
Nastasia: Come on, you guys double date or something?
You want to get me while I'm young and vulnerable. I stay in here,
I'm gonna toughen up.
Victor: Right. Bye.
Mac: Stay sweet.
Victor: Wow.
Woman: Next!
Jackie: Hey, I've been trying to find you.
Director: Well, here I am. You've got one minute, starting
now.
Jackie: Well, it turns out you were right about Pinky's.
I mean, that place is mega-shady. And the bar, I mean, it's just a cover.
Turns out they're into bogus cash, big time.
Director: Fascinating.
Jackie: I mean, I held a grand in my hand. And, like,
with 10 of those I could travel to Europe, and I am talking first-class,
martinis and oysters kind of travelling. But I've already been to Europe,
and all they have are those
stupid museums and art galleries. And, like, one more renaissance madonna
and I was going to choke. And, like, what
is up with Eurodisney anyway? Like, Mickey Mouse and red wine? Oh, yeah,
I mean they really go together.
Director: 30 seconds.
Jackie: What's the big rush?
Director: Jackie, when you won Rookie of the Year, I
was filled with a great sense of pride and excitement. But you have to
understand, I change my habits for no one.
Jackie: Well, this Ganz guy, right, he runs the operation,
and we're pretty tight.
Director: Darling, you may be teacher's pet, but I've
got a date with the devil, and you've got 10 seconds.
Jackie: Well, he wants me to break into the Mint with
him, and, like, help steal plates and, you know, if I do I'm part of the
gang, but, like, I don't know, should I really--
Director: Time.
Jackie: But I needed to d--
Director: Time.
Jackie: Well, here I am. Ready to do some plate stealing.
You're not going like that, are you?
Ganz: No. No, I'm not. [storm troopers rush in.]
Jackie: Wha... what the-- what is this?
Fife: Miss Janczyk, you're under arrest.
Jackie: Why?
Fife: Because.
Ganz: I'm sorry, Jackie. I mean, it was either you or
me, and...
Jackie: Thanks.
[Fife aims gun at Ganz.]
Ganz: Hey. I kept my word.
Fife: Yes, indeed. But you did not erase your past.
Ganz: Hey, hey...come on. Hey. Hey! Guys. Guys, guys,
come on. Come on, you got your justice, ok? Come on. Hey.
[gunshot]
Fife: All right, let's go.
Jackie: I have had, like, a really long day. Well, can
you at least take my breakfast order, you stupid morons!
Calca June: I've been going over the Jackie Janczyk file.
It's beautiful. Murder, racketeering, larceny. Even the odd unpaid
parking ticket.
Judge Block: Beauty is in--
Calca June: ...the eye of the beholder, Judge Block.
Judge Block: I was going to say, in your... sense of
justice.
Calca June: It isn't me, Judge Block. In this case, the
evidence is overwhelming. Tres ipse loquitur.
Judge Block: Haa... latin.
Calca June: The language of justice.
Judge Block: I love... foreign... tongues.
Calca June: I know you do. As we always said in law school...
[ speaking latin ]
Judge Block: Oh, ho, ho...you weaken me.
Calca June: Jackie Janczyk... [ speaking latin ] we who
are about to liquidate you first salute you.
Judge Block: To the cleansing of the world.
[ typing ]
Woman: Next!
Li Ann: Hi. I need a Form 389 Summary Report.
Woman: Right -- you're in the line for the forms up to
300. Over 300's up on the 15th.
Li Ann: What? Do y-- do you understand that I have been
waiting here for days?
Woman: Dear, you're on the wrong floor.
Li Ann: What difference does it make if you help me,
or if they help me?
Woman: Those are the rules -- without rules, the world
would just be in a state of anarchy, wouldn't it? Next!
Mac: You know, I think that Nastasia really liked you.
Victor: No, no, no, she had eyes for you, man, I could
tell.
Mac: That's good, I'm getting love advice from the General
Custer of women.
Victor: Well, think about it. She's in prison -- she's
desperate, she's anxious. Those are exactly the qualities that, uh, frankly,
you rely on.
Mac: You're a funny guy, Vic. Take it on the road, baby.
Still, though, she looked pretty tough. I bet she'd be a good fighter.
Victor: Come on, come on, this is a little juvenile.
Mac: Imagine her in a steel-cage match.
Victor: We got more important things to think about here.
Mac: Say against, like, uh... say, the Director.
Victor: The Director. You don't think the Director could
take jail girl?
Mac: Oh, I think she could take her, and I think I'd
like to see it.
Victor: Me too. What would the director use? Like, karate
or some of them high kicks, or...?
Mac: It depends on whether she's wearing those high heels.
Victor: When is she not wearing high heels? Ahem, director.
Ahem, so, anyway, I think, you know, there's got to be some link
to Momo.
Mac: God, we got four electrocutions and no connections.
Director: Hey.
Victor: Oh...hello.
Director: They were all murderers.
Mac: Ah, well.
Director: Should always bet on me, boys. 'Cause I have
never lost a steel-cage fight.
Victor: I forgot you can read lips.
Director: Yeah, from across a room. Now, throw a little
cold water on yourselves. You've got work to do.
Meet victim number five. Poor soul showed up at the zoo this morning. Little
too much electrical current for
breakfast.
Mac: [ laughing ]
Director: Oh, you think that's funny. So, have you got
anything that can help stop this?
Mac: Two cops visited Momo's wife the day before he bit
it. She tells them where he was, he's dead.
Victor: And we checked in the visitor's log at the prison.
The cops names didn't match the badge numbers.
Director: Fake cops?
Victor: Mm-hmm.
Director: Sounds like we got a whole underground justice
system at work here. So, find the cops, and maybe we got this
kangaroo court.
Victor: Nathan's running pictures from the prison security
cameras.
Director: Good. While you're at it, locate Jackie for
me, will you?
Victor: Why?
Director: She's a criminal who recently beat her rap,
ok? She didn't check in today. Unlike you two, she always checks in.
Li Ann, you're home early. You have my report?
Li Ann: The office was closed. I have to go back. You
know, I was thinking this is kind of pointless. You know, I'm a highly
trained secret agent and I'm waiting in line for a form.
Director: It's anything but pointless. Ta-ta.
Li Ann: I need some fried food.
Victor: Who can make sense of this crap?
Nathan: Electrical records are kind of complex. You'd
be amazed how many enigmas the government buries. Amps, ohms,
volts, watts. It's one big cryptogram.
Mac: Let me guess, you temped at the power plant too.
Nathan: Nope, I was an intern. It was glorified slavery,
except for the glorified part. Photos from the Hewlitzer pen. Calca
June -- city prosecutor for eight years. Accused of tampering with evidence.
Disbarred and sent to trial.
Mac: What was the verdict?
Nathan: Case dismissed.
Mac: By whom?
Nathan: A certain Judge Block... who was later removed
from the bench for a whole raft of irregularities.
Mac: So they're holding, like, a court of their own.
Victor: Well, just taking out the trash.
Mac: Who are you, Kurt Russell? They're killing people.
Victor: Yeah, but they're killing guilty people. Besides,
what... what do we do week after week?
Mac: That's different. People shoot at us. We protect
ourselves, we defend ourselves.
Victor: So, these vigilantes are protecting society,
man. It's exactly the same thing.
Mac: No, it's not.
Victor: Yes, it is.
Mac: No, it--
Victor: all right, maybe it's not exactly the same thing,
but it's an analogy.
Mac: Yeah -- losing it, vic.
Victor: Nope, just being honest. You don't want to see
the truth about yourself, that's all.
Mac: Look at this guy. Proof of evolution.
Nathan: That's a known thug named Fife. Failed police
boards five times.
Mac: Ha, you guys got a little something in common.
Victor: Does he connect to the other two?
Nathan: He was a bailiff in Judge Block's court.
Victor: You know this stuff is finally starting to make
a little bit of sense. It says right here, five power surges at 813 McKinney
street, which matches the dates of our electrocutions.
Mac: That's a three-pointer.
Nathan: Next to sugar cane, power is everything.
Victor: Should we call for backup?
Mac: No.
Victor: You sure?
Mac: Yeah, I got a feeling.
Victor: You think you're any better than these people,
you're wrong.
Mac: Will you drop it?
Victor: Why?
Mac: I don't talk to crazy people. Saves time.
Victor: I'm not saying that they're right to kill people
on their own. All I'm saying is, I know how they feel. They got a point.
Mac: I found a switch. [they see the electric chair]
Victor: Yeah, I think they're taking this just a little
too seriously.
Mac: Hey, look at this.
Victor: At least they're cleaning out the scum and the
lowlifes. What is this? A wall of shame?
Mac: Hmm, you know what? I'm really starting to think
that these guys got the right idea with this vigilante stuff. I mean, look
at
this character here. Shifty, beady, criminal eyes. [points to a picture
of Vic.]
Victor: Well, look at this guy. Low, criminal forehead,
eh? [points to a picture of Mac.]
Mac: What do you think now, Victor?
Victor: I think these guys got to be stopped. [they see
Jackie in a holding cell.]
Jackie: What took you two tomatoes so long?
[ guns cocking ]
Victor: Nice instinct.
Fife: Book 'em, boys.
Li Ann: I need a Form 389 Summary Report. I know what
you're going to say! But it's not on the 15th. They told me to come
back here.
Woman: Miss--
Li Ann: Don't...Miss me! You're going to give me that
damn report. I know you have it. Now, are you going to give me that
report? Huh?
[ squeaking ]
Li Ann: You people are mad! See this! These people think
they can control us. Giving us numbers, keeping us in line, like
cattle to a trough. I say free yourselves from the system. Take a step
over that red line and grab your permits,
passports and patents... before it's too late!
[ cheering ]
Li Ann: Freedom!
Crowd: Freedom! Freedom! Freedom...
Judge Block: A mob boss, a dirty cop and a member of the
Hong Kong mafia.
Calca June: A treasure trove of justice.
Judge Block: We shall try all three together. Unlike
most courts of the modern day, we believe in expediency.
Mac: Look, I don't know what kind of operation you're
running here, but our shadowy government agency's going to be here
any
second... with backup.
[ crow cawing ]
Mac: Hey, I got to allow for... wind resistance.
Jackie: You had me.
Judge Block: The prosecution shall proceed.
[ beeping ]
[ beeping faster ]
Nathan: Ah! It's you. You're their leader. You've been
monitoring me.
Director: I never monitor anyone who wants to be monitored.
Where are Mac and Victor?
Nathan: Where? Uh, uh...
Director: The address.
Nathan: The address?
Director: It's a series of numbers followed by a sequence
of letters.
Nathan: Yeah, I know. Ok. So. Uh...it was on a street.
I remember that. McInish, McNeil, McGuiness, Mc–
Director: Did you write it down?
Nathan: Y-you bet, yup.
Director: Then where is it?
Nathan: I ate it -- I-I'm required to eat all the notes
I make during the day.
[ beeping ]
Director: [on phone] Yes.
Li Ann: [on phone] Ok, I'm punished. You had me waste
most of my life waiting in line for this useless report... and I have
paper cuts.
Director: Do you have it?
Li Ann: Yeah. It's a summary of applications to alter
electrical service to buildingsfor the last two years. So?
Director: Is it alphabetized?
Li Ann: Yeah.
Director: Is there an application under the name of Block?
Li Ann: Yes.
Director: I told you it wasn't pointless. I need that
address -- now.
Calca June: In summation, the court can clearly see that
these criminals, without prejudice, must be executed.
Victor: There's something about her I just don't like.
Calca June: The guilty must die. Ca va sans dire.
Judge Block: Hmm...oh, those foreign languages. So noted.
We'll begin with Jackie Janczyk.
Jackie: Are you completely, like, half way to Mars? I
mean, like, I've seen that Justice chick and she's got a blindfold on,
and I
know that's kinky, but isn't it supposed to mean something, too?
Calca June: Prosecution insists we move forward.
Jackie: Know what, lady, I wouldn't put my doberman in
that awful get-up. Fashion tip -- your skin tone screams autumn.
Judge Block: Sentence will be carried out now. Observe
well, gentlemen. You're next. Proceed.
[Fife pulls the switch. Nothing happens.]
Jackie: Hello? Ha, ha... I'm still here.
[The Director walks in.]
Judge Block: Who are you?
Director: Counsel for the accused.
Mac: Yeah, what took you so long?
Director: Well, I was going to let you fry, but they
started with Jackie and it forced my hand. Let me defend them. Give them
a
chance at a fair trial. If I lose, I'll restore the power.
Judge Block: In the pursuit of justice, if the prosecution
has no objection?
Calca June: Prosecution takes no issue with delaying
the inevitable.
Jackie: Could we go back to that part about, um, restoring
the power...please?
Judge Block: Proceed.
Director: There are three sides to every story: yours,
mine and the truth.
Judge Block: That is moral relativism. There is only
one truth.
Director: But there are many ways into it. You choose
utopian justice?
Judge Block: The noblest way. Don't you think?
Director: All utopias collapse.
Judge Block: Not if we perfect them.
Director: Perfection is illusion.
Judge Block: It is you that support illusion in your
system. Justice shows mercy for the criminals, none for the victim.
Director: So, you fix evidence, perjure testimony, and
obstruct due process.
Judge Block: Hmm, yes...in the pursuit of justice.
Director: But you can't get there, because the truth
is messy. It sprawls. It contradicts. It wanders.
Calca June: Your honour, she impugns the truth.
Judge Block: We know who they are, we know what they've
done. The details are irrelevant.
Director: So you think ideas are true and facts are false.
Judge Block: Essentially.
Director: You're a peculiar little bird, aren't you?
Calca June: Irrelevant, you're honour. Argumentum ad
hominum.
Judge Block: This is no time for sex talk. It is you
who are confused. Justice is not on trial, these deviants are.
Director: But justice is made of facts. That's the basis
of our world, not ideas.
Mac: She's good, she's good.
Judge Block: Are you trying to show contempt for this
court?
Director: No, I'm doing my best to hide it.
Victor: I liked that one.
Director: Mae West, 1933.
Judge Block: Enough! Bailiff! Remand her in custody.
They'll all fry together.
Director: Except for one thing.
Judge Block: What's that?
Director: You let me talk enough to gain the time I needed.
[Murphy and Camier walk in, shooting everyone in the room. They begin to shoot at Judge Block.]
Director: Don't do it.
Camier: But we had a deal. We can eliminate them.
Director: The deal is off.
Murphy: So we were commissioned under false pretenses?
Camier: We wouldn't have come as mere muscle.
Murphy: We're your killers, not your jackanapes agents.
Director: My agents were in handcuffs.
Murphy: What is that to us?
Camier: We will file a grievance through our union. [walks
away.]
Judge Block: What will you do with your victory? Avenge
yourself on me?
Director: Much better. I'm going to hand you over to
the real justice system. And I don't think they'll let you get away.
Director: Jackie, you handled yourself brilliantly in
court.
Jackie: Are you kidding? You are a total legal eagle.
Director: Ah, Li Ann, back from the bowels of bureaucracy.
Well, I hope you learned a valuable lesson in patience.
Li Ann: Next time you want to punish me, send me to Dobrinsky.
Director: I wasn't punishing you. This address saved
your partners' life. Without a minute to spare, I might add.
Li Ann: Well, I would have been quicker, but, um...
Director: Now, what's this?
Li Ann: Bill for damages.
Jackie: [ laughing ] Well, who'd you K.O. this time?
Director: You know, you girls have really got to learn
to get along.
Jackie: Ha, ha. Why?
Director: No, really, I think you owe each other an apology.
Now, come on, shake and make up. Come on, shake.
[Victor and Mac walk in. Victor sees Li Ann and Jackie
shaking hands.]
Victor: Ohh... looks like they buried the hatchet.
Mac: Maybe they'll form a tag team.
Victor: Well, who's going to take on both of them?
Mac: Hey, hey...10 bucks on the Director.
Victor: Against the-- against the two of them? You're
on.
THE END
