Chapter 42

"So, what do I do? Should I ask her to marry me?" Taylor asked his older brother Isaac.
"You two shouldn't use marriage to escape her mom or to keep you guys together.    You're not ready for that commitment," he said.
"But, I love her so much, Ike. I can't imagine life without her and I want us to be a family."
  "Okay, you marry her, right? What then? Where will you guys live?"
  "I will try. But, I don't even know if I really am ready. I want to be there for them. I feel like I'm missing so much of the pregnancy. The baby, like, kicks and moves around. Page is so used to it and I should be, too. I don't want to miss the first smile, the first time it sits up, the first step, the first word and every other first."
   "Well, Mom and Dad won't go for you guys getting married. I don't even think they'd go for you guys moving in together being this young."
   "Page will be eighteen soon. She'll be able to do whatever the hell she wants, " Taylor replied.
     He wondered why everyone was against his or her relationship. It seemed like the only people that wanted them together was himself and Page.
   "Well, I have to go to Page's house for dinner."
   "All right. I'll see you later."
   *                *                     *                          *
  "Hey baby," Page said excitedly as she opened the front door.
  "Hey," he smiled and hugged her. They then kissed while he felt her stomach.
  "Seven weeks to go, Taylor," she smiled.
  "Man, that's so crazy," he sighed a happy sigh.
    Holding hands, they walked into the dining room. Christina and Noah were arguing about something and Christopher was on the phone. Noelle was helping Mrs. Monroe set down all the food.
   "Hello, Taylor," Mrs. Monroe said politely.
    Everyone else chimed in afterwards.
   "Taylor, I felt the baby kick this morning," Noelle exclaimed happily. "It was so cool! Page lets me listen to her tummy sometimes."
   "Wow," Taylor smiled and looked at Page.
   "I think it's going to be a boy," Noah announced.
   "I want it to be a girl," Noelle said with spite towards Noah.
   "Guys, it doesn't matter as long as it's healthy, remember?" Page was used to their bickering.
   "I think it's going to be a boy," Mrs. Monroe added. "What do you think, Taylor?"
   "I don't care. I mean, either way I'll be overjoyed," Taylor answered.
    Christopher just sat there, staring at Taylor.
   "What do you think?" Page asked her younger brother.
   "I think that it's sad. Everyone is so happy about some rock star knocking my sister up and it's pathetic. Everyone's celebrating and acting like everything is okay. I think that Dad wouldn't have . . ."
   "Chris, don't even go there," Page raged. "Shut up!"
   "Page, calm down," Taylor advised. He was embarrassed and his reddened face showed it. He never thought about the resentment that could exist against him.
   "Chris, why can't you just pretend like everything is going okay. We are all hurting for some reason or other; so don't try to make anyone feel worse. No one is to blame here. A new life is always a blessing. Don't resent the baby or Taylor," Mrs. Monroe lectured.
   "Well, it's the way I feel," he responded.
   "Great, but keep it to yourself, " Page snapped.
   "I'm sorry, Chris. I love your sister so much and I care about you guys, too. You know how hard it is being a teenager, man. I wouldn't have asked to have a kid right now, but it happened and we're dealing with it."
    Taylor realized he never really got to know Page's family well enough. Now, they were going to be a family. They were going to be forced to be around each other and accept each other because of the baby.
    "I don't really know you. You're always busy and when you finally decide to come around, you're preoccupied with my sister. Alan always made it a point to be around us and was like our friend. It seemed like you just cared about destroying Page's life," Chris said honestly.
    "That's part of the reason I asked Taylor to come over for dinner," Page smiled. "We can try to get to know each other. I don't want there to be any weird tension once I have the baby. Everyone has to get along," Page said.
    "Excellent. I'm proud of you, Page," Mrs. Monroe said touched. Page felt proud to have her mother proud of her for once.

*         *          *            *

   "So, my family loves you," Page said sweetly while rubbing her tummy.
   "I guess. I'm so relieved. I felt so bad when Chris started going on about how he felt towards me."
   "Yeah, I know. He's never like that. He was trying to protect me, I guess. Everyone's role in my family has changed. It's really hard on him because he's, like, the man of the house now. Noah has to look up to Chris even more now. Chris has a lot of responsibility and he doesn't even know about himself, yet."
   "I'll try to help him out," Taylor offered.
   "Thanks. You are so unbelievably sweet. You're so good with Noah and Noelle."
   "I've got some younger siblings, too."
   "You know, the last time I held a newborn baby was when Noelle was born."
   "That scares me," Taylor laughed.
   "I know. I feel like I should be taking classes or something, but between school and family, I haven't got the time. I'm scared of giving birth, having a little baby and being a mom."
    "It's okay. I bet it'll come naturally. You'll be a wonderful mom."
    "Thanks, Taylor," she said and kissed him. They were sitting on the porch outside of her house.
    "So, what last name are you using for the baby?" Taylor tried to ask the question casually, but when Page looked into his eyes, she could see the hurt.
    "Hanson, I presume. You are the father, right?"  
    "I hope so. I thought you said your last name would be easier."
    "I changed my mind," she smirked.
     Taylor smiled at himself and put his arm around Page.

A few weeks later

  The hardest part about being pregnant at the age of seventeen isn't trying to do normal teenage things. At eight months pregnant, I couldn't have cared less about prom or trivial things like that. The hardest part is actually trying to do the normal pregnancy things and being seventeen. For instance, my mom and Cheyanne planned a baby shower. The guest list included my Mom, Cheyanne, Cheyanne's mom, my sisters, Mrs. Hanson, one of my grandmothers, my aunts, a couple of friends from school, some of my mom's friends and that's about it. Some people didn't attend because they disagreed with having a baby shower and showing off the fact that I was a mother before I graduated high school. Mrs. Hanson didn't invite her family and friends because of the distance from Oklahoma to New York. Taylor didn't even show up because he was in France. I secretly think he didn't want to come and face everyone.
    We played all of the normal games and I opened all of the gifts. I think seeing all the gifts for the baby really made me realize that is was about to happen. I had already gotten little things here and there, but now all of my shopping was just about complete.  My mom bought the crib I had my eye on. It was going to look perfect in my room. Yes, it was going to be odd having a crib in my bedroom, but I was going to get used to it. By then I was used to the stares and sympathetic looks I got from strangers because I had this reassuring inner feeling that I'd be okay. All of the shit I was going through would pay off once I was holding my baby in my arms.
    I became accustomed to its sleeping patterns already. There were many nights that I couldn't sleep with thanks to the baby moving all around. When Taylor was around or it heard his voice, it stopped moving. It actually seemed to be listening to him. I told Taylor and he was so touched. I was so used to having this person inside of me. I was going to miss it so much. The feeling was indescribable.