Damon: Yes!

Damon: Brenda, do you have this weeks ratings or do I have to guess.

Damon: Heh, not like with you, beautiful sweet-heart. Whoa!

Damon: Hey, that's all right, what's your name.

Damon: Stan, you're doing good work, it looks beautiful. Don't worry.

Damon: Ok?

Damon: Brenda, if that ass-hole is mopping the floor tomorrow, you'll be mopping it for the rest of the week. Let's go!

Damon: Who chose the colours? Hey! How are my people today? Damon: Haha! You're lookin' good! Love that unif--Tony. Tony! Whadda you got for me?

Damon: Just give 'em an evasive answer. Tell 'em to go fuck themselves. You got my coffee? I wanna know what we got, all right?

Damon: Are you kidding me? Next!

Damon: Yeah, see I like that quality. He's the sort that the neighbors say, "such a quiet man and never too busy to say, 'hello'". But look at him, he weighs a hundred and twenty pounds. He wouldn't last thirty seconds. Who else?

Damon: Did they commit suicide?

Damon: Then they're unreliable.

Damon: Hellooo, gorgeous.

Damon: Tony. Tony! Pipe that feed in here now! Take a look at this. This is yesterday's prison break. Hey! Look! Look at that mother move, huh. Is he beautiful? Who is he?

Damon: The cop from the massacre. Sensational! Perfect contestant. I want 'im!

Damon: Why not?

Damon: Yeah, well they'll get 'im for me. Cadre's can't have it both ways, huh. They want ratings, I can get ten points for his biceps alone. Hello? Yeah, this is Killian. Get me the justice department, entertainment division. No, no hold that. Operator, get me the president's agent.

Damon: Hi cutie-pie. You know, one of us is in deep trouble. Do you know who I am?

Damon: That's funny, I was gonna to say the same thing about you. I saw the video of your prison break. Sensational! Ben, I think we might be able to help each other out. I've got brains and you've got talent. No, you've got more than, you've got talent, you've got charisma, and y'got balls. That's why I pulled a few strings to get you here. And that's why I'd like you to volunteer to appear on tomorrow's broadcast of The Running Man.

Damon: Hahahahaha! You're a brilliant conversationalist Ben. A trifle limited, but brilliant. Take a look.

Damon: Ah, isn't that your old school teacher buddy there, huh? And there's your other buddy. The one that helped you in the prison infirmery.

Damon: Well, that's really up to you, Ben. You see, I created The Running Man, but, I don't make the rules. I've got a contract with the government, they send me the convicts and I put 'em on the show. Well, you've seen it right? You know at least you've got a chance, but your buddies, Ben, they're the B-list. So if you don't do the Running Man tomorrow, Weiss and Laughlan, are gonna go on, in your place. What do you say?

Damon: These guys, they never stop competing, you get thirsty just watching them. But, in my line of work I can't afford that filled up feeling...that's why I drink Cadre Cola. It hits the spot.

Damon: Don't touch the hair!

Damon: Yeah! Thank you. You're beautiful! I love you! Yes! You're beautiful. Thank you! Haha! Shhh! It's....SHOW TIME!

Damon: All right, now tell me, what's the number one television show in the whole, wide world?

Damon: And who loves you, and who do you LOVE?

Damon: One more time!

Damon: Yes!

Damon: Phil, my announcer. I heard the warm up today, and honestly Phil, I don't think I've ever heard you funnier. I'm just kidding guys, you're great at your job, to bad it isn't music!

Damon: --the love of my life, my number one fan, Mrs McArdle. How are you doin'?

Damon: I want a kiss now, a big kiss, but remember, no tongues.

Damon: Sit down, little darlin'. We have one hell of a show for you tonight. Phil, please, if you will, introduce tonight's guest runner. And watch that screen.

Damon: Well, we all know the aftermath. Grieving parents, orphaned children, a nation shocked to it's very core. Here he is. Ready to pay the price for our home audience, in person, the Butcher of Bakersfield!

Damon: Now, Ben Richards coulda gone to prison and paid the penalty, but instead he volunteered for The Running Man. Risking everything for chance at our fabulous prizes like a trial by jury, suspended sentence, maybe even a full pardon, like our previous winners, Wittman, Price and Hadad. You remember them, Wittman, Price and Hadad, there they are, and at this very moment they're basking under the Maui sun, their debt to society paid in full. And speaking of prizes, you don't have to be a menace to society to be a winner, you folks in the audience, you'll get a chance too. Phil, tell our friends what they can win today.

Damon: Ben, I know you're just dying to get into that game-zone and show us the same determination you showed up in Bakersfield, well first I've got a little surprise for you.

Damon: Hahaha. We all know you're a big, tough guy, Ben, but that doesn't mean that your a loner, and it takes a big man to admit that he needs his friends. We didn't want to break up a winning team Ben, so here they are, ready to go for broke, right by your side. Ladies and gentlemen, Ben's buddies, Harold Weiss and William Laughlan!

Damon: You know how this works. The game-zone is divided into four hundred square blocks, left over from the big quake of ninety-seven, and I don't think any of us will ever forget that.

Damon: Once inside the zone the runners have three hours, they've got to go through all four game quads, three hours or less, and they're going to need every second, cos you know who's on their tail?

Damon: Who?!

Damon: And you know what happens then!

Damon: What?!

Damon: Right! Without further ado, it's time to start RUNNING!

Damon: On your marks! Get set!

Damon: Only in a re-run. Go! Go!

Damon: Go! Yes!

Damon: Edith Wiggins, come on down! Yeah!

Damon: Whoa,whoa, Edith, you look like you mighta done a little stalking yourself. Now, we need you to give the name of the stalker that we send out to hunt down those three desperate criminals. Give me ten seconds, please.

Damon: Times up!

Damon: Who's it gonna be?

Damon: Quickly.

Damon: Yeah? Who is it?

Damon: Yeah, all right, OK. We're lookin' for Subzero!

Damon: Uh, sorry Cap., I've just been informed that the runners have entered the first quad. Let's go there now, live!

Damon: Subzero does it again. A triple hit!

Damon: Oh, look at this, an ICS home video. Yeah! And, The Running Man home version, right here, for you.

Damon: Ladies and gentlemen, this is, just horrible. Words can't express what we are all feeling at this very moment. A great champion has fallen. We'll be back, right after these important messages.

Damon: Huh?....I know....I know a stalker died! Well it had to happen sooner or later, I--. Yeah....well it IS a contact sport, right? Yeah, but see, you guys are justice, you can not have it both ways. You want ratings, you want people in their in front of the TV set rather than picket lines. Well, you aren't gonna get that with re-runs of Gilligan's Island....Gilligan's Island....daa-da-da-da! Yeah, yeah, the one with the boat! Damon: Leon?

Damon: Then don't decide, Leon. Hard decisions call for hard solutions. And here are two hard-asses ready to step in and take charge. You asked for 'em Leon, you got 'em, here they are Buzzsaw and Dynamo! Phil, tell us all about this champion tag team.

Damon: Well?

Damon: Eight?

Damon: I love Ben Richards.

Damon: What?

Damon: The one with the cute ass?

Damon: Sensational!

Damon: Thank you, you're beautiful! Well, it's been an exciting show so far, right? We've had shocks, we've had surprises, and we thought, why not one more surprise? Haha! Will you please help me welcome our mystery contestant, Miss Amber Mendez!

Damon: Amber. Amber. Now, I understand that you're single, Amber, and that you live on the West side. And not surprisingly, she's flaunted the law and traditional morality all of her life.

Damon: We don't lie. Phil, tell us all about her.

Damon: Dear, dear, dear. Let's re-unite these little love-birds. Go!

Damon: Here you go, Leon. And your Running Man home game.

Damon: Hey what an incredible battle! Buzzsaw gone, Dynamo down, but the stalk isn't over 'til the fat lady sings, and the very last criminal faces death! We'll be back, right after these messages, and our half time show!

Damon: I got it? Ben. Ben, I gotta hand it to you, pal. Haha! You got the whole network here in an uproar. Why, they're shipping bi-carb to the justice department in crates. So that's why this little call is just between you and I. It's not going on, on the air. Listen very carefully Ben, how would you like a three year contract, guaranteed, a Cadre credit line and a beach-front condo? Sound impossible? Ben, that's the standard deal for a network stalker. And I know real talent when I see it Ben, and I'd just hate to see you get cancelled tonight when you could go the distance. Say the word Ben, and you could be the one doing the stalking. Whadda y'think?

Damon: Wh--who?

Damon: Get out. Everybody out. C'mon! Move! Yes?

Damon: Hey! All right, Agnus. Listen now, big chance for you. Win a whole lotta prizes. Y'know we've still got two crack stalkers out there. Dynamo and Fireball. Who do you think will make the next kill?

Damon: Come on, give it a try. You can do it. Who do you think?

Damon: Hold it, hold it. Agnus, haha, Richards is a runner, you gotta pick a stalker.

Damon: There we go. The number one rusher. He smells blood and nothing on Earth is gonna stop him.

Damon: It's not a request moron, it's an order!

Damon: Cap., will you spare me the combat Zen speech? What the hell'sa matter with you?! Can't you see what's going on out there?! This isn't a game! They're betting on Richards up there!

Damon: Get out of here! Get him out of here! What'sa matter, steroids make you deaf?! Get him out of here, NOW!

Damon: --activate travelling matte. Tony, this better work pal, or YOU'LL be a digital memory.

Damon: Sensational! I LOVE it!

Damon: Whoa-ho! Ladies and gentleman, I've just got an up date on tonight's incredible action. The runners have entered the final quad.

Damon: Let's go now, live to the game-zone.

Damon: It's all part of life's rich pattern Brenda, and you better fuckin' get used to it. That's the one for the awards show, huh? Thank you, you're doing nice work. I thank you. Tony, you're finally getting it.

Damon: Listen up, everybody. I want you to all consider yourselves picked up for the rest of the season, OK? What, are you my people or an oil painting? We're up nine points! Come on, now. Let's go champ.

Damon: Come on, let me hear it now. Oh, yeah. Welcome to the post game rap-up the show. Ladies, I love ya. Thank you, young man. Hello, you're on the air.

Damon: He's going to be fine, love. Uh, fortunately, you see, Dynamo was still under factory warranty.

Damon: You're on the air.

Damon: Oh, what a darlin' you are. Yes, my da-- All you do, you send your checks to the patriots fund, care of this station, and you know that national Cadre's will match each and every dollar--

Damon: --and those donations are tax deductable.

Damon: And who loves you, and who do you LOVE?

Damon: Yes! Yes! Yes!

Damon: We don't lie. Lie. Lie.

Damon: Like our previous winners, Wittman, Price and Hadad. You remember them, Wittman, Price and Hadad, there they are, and at this very moment they're basking under the Maui sun, their debt to society paid in full. Watch that screen!

Damon: Ladies and gentlemen! Ladies and gentlemen, if you'll please, bare with us! We're experiencing technical difficulties.

Damon: Hahahahaha! Sven, do you wanna talk to Mr. Richards? Well?

Damon: You look pissed, Ben. Believe me, you got every right to be. But hey,hey, will ya--will you just let me explain? This is television, that's all it is. Uh, it's nothing to do with people, it's about ratings. For fifty years we've told them what do eat, what to drink, what to wear. For Christ's sake, Ben don't you understand? Americans love television. They ween their kids on it. Listen, they love game shows, they love wrestling, they love sports, and violence. So what do we do? We give 'em what they want. We're number one, Ben, that's all that counts. Believe me, I've been in the business thirty years.

Damon: You bastard! Drop dead!

Damon: Noooo!!

Damon: Aaaaah!!!!!