The Heavenly Book Store

• The Good Jesus Happy Fun Book (the new bible) : Biblical : author Jesus Christ and his desciples : price $39.95 : It contains The New Old Testament and The New New Testament 10 chapters in each Testament and it is autographed by Jesus Christ himself : 1214 pages

• Jesus Colony 4239 : Science Fiction : author Jesus Christ : price $19.95 : Read all about how Jesus roams the galaxy in search of adventure, excitement and thrills, it also tells of how Jesus defeated the mighty Gleblorg armada of fighter pilots : 412 pages

• Jesus Colony 2936 : Non-fiction : author Jesus Christ : price $19.95 : The true story of how Jesus roamed the galaxy in searh of adventure, excitement and thrills, and how he defeated the mighty Gleblorg armada of Teletubby invaders : 401 pages

• Super Jesus : Comic Book : author Jesus Christ : price $9.95 : 1st issue of Super Jesus and his fight against the evil forces of Capn Crunch and Satan : 36 pages

• I Hate Ex-disciple E of the Apocalypse : Autobiography : author Jesus Christ : price $29.95 : Read about how Jesus hates Ex-disciple E of the Apocalypse yet they work out their differences and make a website together : 327 pages

• I Hate My Personal Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ : Autobiography : author Ex-disciple E of the Apocalypse : price $34.95 : Read about how much more Ex-disciple E of the Apocalypse hates Jesus than Jesus hates him and how they worked out their differences together and made this website and how Ex-disciple E of the Apocalypse plans to kill Jesus while he's sleeping : 5409 pages (but only 13 have words on them the rest are all pictures of Jesus getting stabbed and being mutilated by Ex-disciple E of the Apocalypse)

• Jesus Coloring Fun : Coloring Book : author Jesus Christ : price $5.95 : The joy of coloring Jesus and the wonderful creatures of God : 19 pages

• The Joy of Coloring Satan : Coloring Book : author Jesus Christ : price $5.95 : The wonderful joy of Coloring Lucifer seen through the eyes of Jesus : 86 pages

• Stupid Fucking Animals : Biblical : author Noah : price 13 schillings : Uncensored account of how Noah hates God for making him put all those animals on that stupid ark : 276 pages

• Lets See Whats in Bozo's pants : Non-fiction : author Bozo the Clown : price $19.95 (sold out) : The story of the sexual predator and how he stalked children and showed them what was in his pants : 10 pages (all scribbled cause Bozo did not go to school to learn how to read and write)

• How Much I Love Jesus : Non-fiction : author St. Peter : price $15.95 (all proceeds of this product will go to the St. Peter foundation) : The true story of how St. Peter loved Jesus and knew that Jesus would never ever do anything bad to him : 321 pages

• How Much I Love St. Peter : Fiction : author Jesus Christ : price $19.95 (all proceeds of this product will go to the St. Peter foundation) : The story of how Jesus 'loved' St. Peter so much that he had to kill him : 3 pages (1 is a picture of Jesus slitting St. Peter's throat)

• Tragedy of a Mongolian Whore House : Autobiography : author The 'Virgin' Mary : price $21.95 : The sad story of how Jesus may not really be the son of God : 236 pages

• Sins of Desire : Romance Novel : author Jesus Christ : price $10.95 : The adventures of Jesus and the many pimp journeys he took through life (may God forgive Jesus) : 201 pages

• The Greatest Midget Wrestler of All Time : Biography : author Yoda's wife : price $21.95 ( all proceeds go to the St. Peter foundation) : The untold story of the great midget wrestler Yoda and his rise to stardom to winning a world champion midget wrestling belt then his tragic demise of when he was eaten by a pony : 345 pages

• You've Heard of Judo Chop, Well Here's Jesus Chop! : Martial Arts Book : author Jesus Christ : price $14.95 : Jesus teaches you karate moves. HIYAAAAA!!!!! : 52 pages

• Jesusism : Biblical : author Jesus : price $74.95 : How the religion Jesusism is not a cult. HAIL JESUS!!!!!!!!! : 989 pages