Jesus Contests
The allmighty superior being amd celebrity
known as Jesus Christ wants to be very friendly towards
his fans, not that his fans made him famous but Jesus
is a nice Jesus and wants to have contests for his great
fans so that lucky fans can meet jesus and do great things
with him (homosexuals need not apply). Click on the links
below to select the contest of your choice. Please be very
specific on why you believe you should be the winner of
these contests.
The Get Rid Of Leprosy Contest
If you want Jesus to make your leprosy go away this is the contest for you. But remember, you must love Jesus or it wont work, and please be very specific about why Jesus should heal you of your leprosy. After all, you dont get leprosy for nothing. And besides, Jesus is a very busy celebrity and does not have the time to be wasting on regular non-celebrities like yourself. Thats why this is a contest.
The Take The Fall For Jesus Contest
Lets say your favorite celebrity Jesus is in a jam. Not that Jesus is ever in any trouble, but lets say that Jesus robbed a bank, killed a few people in the process, and the police are saying Jesus is guilty. If you do not want to see Jesus go to prison then you can help Jesus by joining this contest.
The Afterlife Contest
Have you ever wanted to go to the NEW Heaven? Or perhaps even the NEW Hell? Just to see what its like? Well heres your chance. We'll send you to one of them (permanently). We'll even give you some nice parting gifts to take along with you on your journey, including and not limited to: a T-Shirt that says I Got To Meet Jesus At JesusFunLand.com, a map, a flashlight with batteries, a polyester sack with a dollar sign on it, a limozine with a chauffeur (may be a bicycle built for 2 and your chauffeur may resemble a homeless bum named Leeroy), a gun with bullets, and directions to a bank so you can deposit some goodies for your Personal Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ. You may go to the NEW Heaven or Hell before you even meet Jesus. Submit your entries now.
The Be In A Porno With Jesus Contest (men need not apply)
Not that Jesus has ever been in any pornos, but since there are so many fans of pornography in the world Jesus wants to show his love for all the people in the world by planting his baby Jesus seeds. (men and old chicks need not apply)
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