Profile of Gonzo The Warrior Fighting Machine Man

Gonzo doing the crane

Name: Gonzo The Warrior Fighting Machine Man
Hometown: Jim Henson's Ass
Age: who knows who cares
Job: action film star and real life commando
Hobbies: fucking Piggy with his big nose-like dick, jacking his dick and his big ass nose at the same time, fucking Piggy with his dick-like nose, beating the shit out of Fozzy, collecting stamps
Favorite Food: rolly polies (they're real crunchy), meow mix (meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow)
Known As: the inventor of tuberculosis
Not Known As: Kermit The Frog
Favorite Fish: Goldfish (they're nice and tiny and can't defend themselves)
Favorite Organization: NRA (National Rifle Association) (try to picture Gonzo holding a semi-automatic rifle)
Favorite Quotes: bend over rover and let Gonzo take over, spread them legs Piggy cause my nose is coming in, and Bengay is good for my arthritis and my scrotom