According to the OLD Bible, in the Book of Revelations, Hell is described as a place with fire and brimstone. To tell you the truth it was a lot worse than that, but God, Lucifer, Jesus, myself (ex-disciple E of the apocalypse), St. Peter, The Angel of Death, Moses, and Bozo the Clown all realized that hell kind of sucked, therefore God created the NEW Hell.

There are a few differences in the new and old Hell such as the lava has been replaced with rivers of toilet water (the choice of toilet water was completely Jesus's decision), now Lucifer wanted to keep the Big Gay Roach King so that he could rape and molest all sinners in hell but stupid Moses had to insist that the Big Gay Roach King was too much pain for the poor sinners, therefore the Big Gay Roach King was replaced by the Big Gay Leprachaun named Jimbo. Another discussion was about the pillars of fire, now Lucifer and Bozo the Clown both wanted them to remain as pillars of fire or be changed to big giant dildo's, St. Peter wanted them to be giant candy canes, after St. Peter was executed by your personal Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ, the decision was made to replace them with St. Peters skeletal remains (St. Peter's replacement has yet to be named, find out all about how to become the new Gate Keeper of Heaven in the NEW Bible $39.95 plus shipping and handling OR you can wait like a sap and buy it at the dollar store UN-autographed), those are just SOME of the differences in the new and old hell. To find out about more of these differences you will have to accept Jesus Christ as your personal Lord and Saviour, also it doesn't hurt to buy the new Bible.

Now we all know some of the more common ways of getting into Hell, such as dis-obeying the NEW Ten Commandments, well here's a few ways to get into the NEW Hell that i'll bet you didn't know about such as tearing the tag off of a mattress, there is no way to redeem yourself of this horrible sinful sin (and you always thought that was just a joke), another sinful sin is calling Domino's pizza and ordering a pizza from them and telling them that they are better than Pizza Hut and Little Ceaser's cause the fact of the matter is we all know it's not so doing this will DEFINATELY get you into Hell. Another God aweful sinful thing is substituting the dogs in dog races with goats for it is cruel and demeaning to the goats (what stupid ass would do this anyways, God forgive me for using the word ass). To learn more about the ways to get into Hell purchase the NEW Bible at your local dollar store or you can be smart and order it from this website autographed by Jesus Christ himself for $39.95 with new verses and passages that are not available in the version that you can buy at your local dollar store.