Toys For The Kiddies and The Adults

• G.I. Jesus : action figure : ages 3-100 : price $4.95 : G.I Jesus does not come with weapons cause he does not use weapons you can use your imagination to pretend that he is using his Super Jesus Magic to thwart his enemies (may resemble a naked used ken doll while others may look like a naked used barbie doll)

• G.I. Satan : action figure : ages 3-100 : price $4.95 : G.I. Satan comes with all sorts of small weapons for your child to choke on (may resemble slimer from ghostbusters)

• Karate Chop Jesus : action figure : ages 3-100 : price $7.95 : Karate chop action, need we say more? BUY BUY BUY!

• Jesus Wet'n'Wild Fun Slide : waterslide : ages 3-100 : price $24.95 : Get wet and wild with Jesus (not in that manner)

• Cabbage Patch Jesus : doll : ages 3-100 : price $14.95 : A Jesus doll with cabbage for hair

• Jesus Blow Up Doll : sex toy : ages 5-105 : price $19.95 : Ladies dont just blow up Jesus blow ON Jesus

• Baby Jesus Wet My Diaper Doll : doll : ages 3-100 : price $11.95 : The Baby Jesus has wet his diaper now YOU get to clean it up, clean up the magic Jesus pee with holy towels of illness (not included)

• Holy Towels of Illness : paper towels (that look a bit used) : ages 3-100 : price $59.95 : They look like used paper towels but they aren't, we swear they're not used they're new really they are HAIL JESUS!

• Jesustron : transformer : ages 3-100 : price $10.95 : See Jesus transform into Jesustron Note: Jesus and Jesustron look exactly the same (instructions not included)

• Jesustron Instructions : instruction manual : ages 3-100 : price $4.95 : An instruction manual on how to transform the action figure errr 'transformer' Jesus into Jesustron : contains 87 pages

• Jesus Flavored Vibrating Dildo : sex toy : ages 5-105 : price $34.95 : Don't ask, just buy it

• Jesus Jungle Gym : jungle gym : ages 3-100 : price $259.95 : You'll be the coolest kid in town with the Jesus Jungle Gym pretend to be Jesus climb the monkey bars like Jesus go down the slide like Jesus pretend you are really in a jungle gym while you are in fact inside of a cardboard box oooops we've said too much (jungle gym not included)

• Jesus Go Kart : go kart : ages 3-100 : price $174.95 : Vroom vroom vroom with the Jesus Go Kart go almost as fast as Jesus himself you can't be Jesus but you can pretend to be as fast as him (wheels not included)