When the morning came and she had to meet her band mates Lucy was back. No tears, no sorrows. It was so easy to put that mask on. She was again Wild Kitten, the strong, the rock wall for whoever questioned.

But deep inside, behind this rock walls there was still a heart and there was still a fight against the feeling it kept inside. But Lucy knew she'd win. She just HAD to.

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The next morning Brian was sat on his bed, looking out of the window, not being able to help his thoughts. Nick had helped him with the guys. He told them Brian ran into some fans that dissed on his wife and Brian got really, really upset. That was the reason he had been crying. But it wasn't the truth.

He couldn't find those answers. Why did she change? Why was she so rude? And why did she have to be so godamn beautiful? Its impossible to control your feelings but Brian just knew he would have to. The sky above his head, the people walking on the street out of his window, the sun, the stars, nothing would answer him. Nothing could make the pain go away.

When Nick entered the room Brian smiled at him. But it was a sad smile, Nick knew just what he was thinking. He came around and sat beside him.

"Brian... I know its tough, my friend... If I were in your place I'd be just the same, maybe even worse, but as hard as it is life is there... We are lucky people, we have to enjoy everything we have, all the blesses we are living... Lucy is gone but you'll always remember her, she'll be somewhere in your heart, you never really lose the ones you keep inside, and for you, inside your heart she'll always be Lucy... the girl you met and fell for, that day, that kiss... You can have your memories, you just can't suffer over them, Bri..."

Brian looked at Nick and smiled, this time truly happy.

"I love you, man..." - Brian said and softly slapped Nick's hand.

"Luv ya too, Frick... Just don't go see Lucy again... I don't want you to get even worse... Promise me?"

Brian looked at Nick's pleading eyes. He nodded slowly.

"Ok!" - Nick smiled. - "You'll see, Brian. We only have a couple more of weeks and soon you'll be back with Leighanne. I know you still care for her, you guys can get along so well! This is love too, Brian. And this is a love that will only bring you happiness!"

Brian smiled. Nick knew him so well... but just some things he could never understand. Brian friendly ran his hand through his hair, messing it.

"You are right, Frack. I need Leighanne right now. She'll do me a lot of good."

"Yeah! Thats what I'm saying. She loves you bad! When you meet her again everything is gonna go back to normal. You'll forget Wild Kitten and be happy again with your wife. Coz Brian, if you hadn't loved her then you wouldn't have married her, right?" - Nick smiled.

"Right." - Brian smiled back. It was so hard to explain... Not that simple... When he married Leigh he was sure he'd never see Lucy again.

"Now lets cheer up! The guys are waiting to have a good time with the five of us together, the way it used to be. Besides, we still have a couple more of weeks here in New York, we can really enjoy it. Night clubs, shopping..." - Nick grinned.

"Yeah, there is always shopping!" - Brian exclaimed and they laughed.

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It was so easy in theory. Brian knew he had to forget that girl. And without knowing the guys were helping him. It was probably Nick's idea. They were always out doing something together so that Brian didn't have time to be alone and think about things... During the day it was nothing but fun with the five of them together, and at night they would go out or just relax whenever they didn't have to perform.

Oh, but still there was the time to sleep... Brian was all alone, or maybe not as alone as he would like to be. Lucy was always there. The way she looked, her eyes... Brian could swear he saw something when she looked at him... But Nick's words made him see it was probably only his imagination.

There was just something that kept Brian from truly letting it go, burying this love forever... The day they kissed. He remembered how Lucy said all sorts of things about not liking him, she made him feel so bad and right after, after Brian put some pressure she confessed the truth. She melted into his arms and they shared those sweet kisses... Brian couldn't help thinking if it wasn't the same right now. What if Lucy was doing the very same thing? Fighting him away because she was scared to give in? It was like this the first time, why not now?

This thought was always there giving him a little hope, making butterflies run up and down his body. But together with this Brian had the way Lucy was cold, the way she didn't seem to give a damn. She was just a teen when that happened! Teens can be so confused, especially about love! Brian remembered the way Nick used to be with seventeen, always believing he had found the girl of his dreams, the one he'd love forever. He said that at least fifty times. What if it had been the same with Lucy?

But no... she was different... Brian knew it, damn!

He also knew he made a promise to Nick, but after one week since the day they met Brian felt like he was gonna have to break it. He needed to see Lucy again. Maybe put some pressure and have her melt into his arms again. Ok, maybe she would be just as bitchie and tell him to fuck off, but THEN he would be sure. And he needed to be sure, he just wouldn't be able to get back with Leighanne and try his best to build a life, a family with her if he wasn't sure he had tried everything to be with his true love.

It was just too strong. Otherwise the correct person Brian have always been wouldn't allow himself to go for Lucy again. Not even once. But there is just one thing in this world capable of changing people. And its love.

He was gonna see Lucy once more. Before it was too late, before she could run away again.

That night Brian slept with a smile on his lips with the thought of what he would be doing the next day. He would find a reason to go see her. Nick didn't have to know. Yeah, he wouldn't tell him, he'd be way too much concerned. Brian didn't want to bother him. He could take care of this on his own. And he would.

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"Where is Brian?" - Nick asked the guys at five o'clock. He had been out and was just arriving at their apartment.

"Oh, he's gone to the mall." - AJ said.

"On his own?" - Nick asked.

"Yeppers. He wanted to go with you but since you were gone with some hot chick you probably met..."

Nick blushed.

"We offered to go with him but Rok said he'd be ok alone. He told us he needed to walk around, do some shopping and unwind. We let him go." - AJ shrugged.

Nick smiled happily. Brian was finally moving on. That was great.

"Oh, ok then. Guess I'll just sit here and watch TV with you."

Nick walked to the couch and had a little wrestling with him to get AJ to make room for him.

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Brian had talked with some contacts and he knew Nihilist was playing at the arena preparing for the show tonight. They would be just practicing, it shouldn't be hard to find Lucy alone whenever she went backstage to get something.

He walked in the arena and found one of the people he talked through the phone. The man told him the band was on a break and took Brian to their backstage.

He took a deep sigh before entering the room. Lucy was there, and her three band mates as well.

As soon as she saw who joined them Lucy's heart jumped. Her breath increased just a little, unnoticed to everyone there. Her eyes locked with Brian but he couldn't understand what they were saying.

Lucy was mad. She was angry, she never wanted to see him again! It was so hard to keep control, to remain with the mask... She knew she'd have to hurt Brian again. She had to make him understand it couldn't be. She needed to lie.

"Oh look who's here again!" - Mark said sarcastic and happily.

"Hey." - Brian said intimidated by the look on that guys face.

"What you want here?" - Steve asked. A smile playing on his lips. Oh, he wouldn't waste the chance of teasing a little.

"I... I want to talk to Lucy."

The three boys gave him a funny look. Lucy felt her knees week at how firm Brian's voice was. But soon she recovered.

"Why? We have nothing to talk. Didn't we humiliate you enough that other time? You still want more?" - she asked with a bichie voice.

"Yeah, man. Get the hell out a' here. Kitten doesn't talk to fags."

"She did once." - Brian said firmly. He wouldn't lose his cool, he knew those guys would do whatever to make him feel bad. But this time they would know some things Lucy had been keeping.

"What you mean?" - Mark asked curious.

Lucy felt her heart speeding out of control.

"Get the fuck away!" - she yelled.

"Not yet, Lucy. I just wanna talk to you. Please... alone. Then I'll go."

Oh, seeing Lucy's reaction Mark was just too curious. What did Brian mean? Oh, God... it couldn't be true Lucy had something with him, could it?

"Say... why do you wanna talk to her?" - Mark asked.

Brian looked at him and said before Lucy could stop him.

"We had something in the past. We were together very briefly before she fled from Earth's face." - everyone shocked at Brian's words.

Mark was the first to look at Lucy with a jeer smile.

"You did him?" - he asked.

"Shut the fuck up, Mark." - Lucy looked at him first and later at Brian.

She could feel she was losing strength, she was getting weak. She couldn't let this happen! Crying was the last thing she would do in front of those people!

"Brian, ok. You did what you wanted, you told them what happened and now they'll pick on me for the rest of my life for kissing a fag."

Brian looked at her. She knew he wasn't that! It hurt!

"Just get the fuck out of here now, we've seen your little show, go back to mummy's house, will you?"

Lucy bit her lip. He was so beautiful... His eyes so blue... she could remember how sweet those lips felt, pressing against hers... That strong arms keeping her from running away... Lucy fought the shivers this thought was giving her.

Brian took a deep breath. His eyes locked with Lucy's, the other three guys watching them in awe.

"Five minutes, Lucy. Just this." - Brian asked again.

Without saying a word Lucy avoided everyone's eyes and left the room, followed by Brian. In silence she went with him to another room and closed the door when they were in.

"Spit it out." - she commanded harshly.

Brian took a deep breath.

"Lucy... I had to come her to see you again... Nobody knows I'm here."

"Not even your wife? Shame on you." - her eyes were glowing in anger. The anger that kept her from showing the love.

"Lucy, godamn, won't you listen to me? Don't you know why I did all this? I'm here coz of one reason! I still love you!" - Brian gasped.

Lucy closed her eyes and took her hand to smooth her own face. She was trying to get enough strength to fight him away. He said he... Brian loved her? NO! It could only make things more difficult! This was wrong... he was married, Lucy was out of reach, this love was absurd!

Lucy looked at him. She even considered changing her career from singer to actress.

"Brian, I'm flattered. But its just over! I can't believe you were so silly to actually come here and tell me this. I don't give a shit if you still love me, understand it?" - Lucy flamed him. - "Get the fuck back to your life. You have your wife..."

"But I love you, Lucy! You are the only I love..." - Brian's voice was cracking.

"Oh, now I'll have to bear with your crying! Please spare me this. Brian, go back to where you belong, just please let me live my fucking life! Get the hell out! You wanna know why I went away? Only because I wanted to hurt you. I never even liked you. When I realized you were so into me I pretended to be in love. I said all those things, I made you believe I wanted you too, I'm sorry ok? I've always been a player, I love to use people, play with their feelings. Call me a bitch if you want, you can join the team."

"I don't believe it!" - Brian yelled.

"Oh, God..." - Lucy rolled her eyes and sighed. - "I just kissed you, said all those stuff coz I knew I'd be going away the next day. I wanted to give you something to think about, I wanted to affect you. I love to mess around with people, I wouldn't miss on the chance of fooling a famous sticky pop guy, would I?"

Brian was breaking down. All his theory about Lucy being still in love with him was gone. She actually didn't give a damn about him. He wasted his time, broke his promise and was humiliated again. This time even worse coz Lucy was the one to do that. Brian looked into her eyes. He could feel she wanted him to go away.

Lucy saw the tears rolling down his face. A knot closed in her throat and if Brian wouldn't go away right now she wouldn't be able to control herself. 'I love you!' She wanted to scream. She loved him desperately, and it was hurting so much doing that with him. Lucy hated herself for being so stupid, why wouldn't she just go for him and throw herself into his arms? She was really about to that when Brian spoke.

"All right then. I think I just needed to hear that. Goodbye, Lucy. And this time it's forever."

She couldn't reply as he walked away. If she tried to say something she would break down. Lucy had been swallowing her cry, her tears. She was in such state of shock that she didn't move for minutes.

Slowly she got out of trance and ran her hand through her hair. She left the room and walked in the one her mates had been. Mark was the only one there, and when Lucy saw him it was easy to put the mask back. She had sent him away. Brian would never come back, she had nothing to lose when she had lost it all. Now she could really be Wild Kitten. Brian was gone and Lucy was dead.

"So...?" - Mark rose his eyebrows as she walked in.

Lucy grinned.

"He's gone. And this time he ain't coming back. I bet."

Mark giggled.

"Kitten, did you really have something with him? I can't believe it!"

Lucy sighed. This was also hard.

"Mark, when I met those queers I had to pick one of them to play with, get it? I couldn't help myself, you know how I am..." - Lucy rolled her eyes and giggled.

"Oh, I see... You like to play with us, make us fall and then just walk away, don't you, you little bitch...?" - Mark grinned devilishly approaching Lucy and wrapping his arms around her waist.

Lucy forced a smile as he held her tight, running his hands over her body, kissing her neck.

"Mark... not now... We have a show ahead..." - Lucy tried to protest. She just wasn't in the mood to go through this. At all.

"Oh, c'mon, baby... You're so hot..."

Mark took hand to her pants and tried to slide his hand inside her panties.

"No, Mark! I don't want!" - Lucy yelled trying to fight him away but he held her even tighter.

Knowing she had had an affair with the backdoor boy had somehow made Mark even more needed of possessing Lucy.

"What? Whats the problem, Kitten?" - Mark's hot breath rustled into her ear. - "Am I not as good as him? Don't I touch you as good as that Brian gay did?" - Mark said almost like in trance trying to touch Lucy as she fought to get free.

"Mark, get the hell out of me!" - she was almost crying now. She understood Mark wanted her even more coz he thought Brian had had her. And Brian 'was a fag', how come he had what he wanted the most?

"Shut up, Kitten. I'll prove to you I can be better than that fag... Why are you struggling, doesn't he touch you the right way, doesn't he make you go crazy like this?"

Mark slid his hand inside her panties.

"Get the fuck off!" - she yelled scared. Lucy had never seen him like that. He had always stopped whenever she asked him to.

"I'll get what I want now, I so will!" - he whispered in trance, drooling on her neck, touching her and keeping her from struggling.

But Lucy was strong. Especially when she was angry. She broke away from Mark's embrace and at the same time he smacked her forcefully, making Lucy fall on the floor.

Suddenly he woke up and realized what he had done. Lucy was in front of him, her right hand covering her purple eye, a trace of fear in her look.

"Oh, God, Lucy! I'm so sorry..." - Mark's voice cracked.

Never had he planned on going this far!

"Please forgive me, I think I lost my mind..." - Mark reached out his hand but Lucy ignored it.

She stood up.

"Don't touch me. Get the fuck away. If you ever come close to me again I'll call the police, get it?" - Lucy pointed her finger at him and this time Mark was the scared one.

Her eye was terribly purple. Lucy knew they would have to cancel the show. And by tomorrow everyone would know why.

Mark looked baffled as she walked away, her hand softly touching her throbbing right eye. It hurt bad, but not as bad as her heart.

Chapter 11
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