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UNPREDICTABLE

 

Lucy kept moving her eyes nervously, her breath increasing as her heart was caught up in her throat.

"Can I talk to you?" - Lucy heard herself ask. It amazed her that her voice didn't actually sound weak, although her body was trembling slightly.

"You want to talk to me? Is that why you are here?" - Leighanne chocked out.

Lucy nodded slowly, already getting prepared to hear Leighanne screaming at her, telling her to go away, to maybe even try to aggress her...

"Come in..." - Leighanne said stepping back and giving her access.

Oh God! She didn't know why she was doing that! Inviting her husband's ex lover to enter her house?! What the hell was she thinking? She should insult that little slut out of her house, but at the same time something like a wild curiosity made Leigh welcome Lucy in.

Awkwardly, both women sat in the living room, one in front of the other.

"Thank you." - Lucy said trying to get comfortable.

"Its ok..."

Leighanne was intrigued, she couldn't take her eyes out of the girl in front of her. So... that was the one Brian supposedly loved, huh? Not bad... She just couldn't believe what was in front of her eyes!

"You want something to drink?" - Leighanne asked politely.

"No thanks... I just wanna talk."

What would her mother say if Leigh told her she was offering Lucy something to drink inside the very house she shared with Brian!? Lucy... Brian's lover... the one because of whom she tried to commit suicide as Brian threatened to leave her. The woman that came ruining her plans of a lifetime, because of whom Leigh was now living a marriage without love. She hated to think about it, but she knew. She knew Brian didn't love her. But she wanted to believe she could change it with time! Make Brian like her just as he did when they got married! Not Lucy, no... Leigh wanted to think she was just a hooker, that she didn't feel Brian half of what he did for her. That all she wanted in first place was his money... Basically, Leighanne was mirroring Lucy in her own self, only a little worse, of course.

"Well, then... talk." - Leigh giggled nervously and shrugged.

Lucy giggled too. Just as apprehensive.

"Well... as you said before, I'm Lucy... Er... Wild Kitten..." - 'God, I gotta change my nickname.' Lucy thought blushing. It sounded so cute and sexy when guys said it, but with another girl she just blushed her cheeks out saying that.

"I know... You were the one Brian was with a month ago." - Leighanne said seriously.

"Yes... I'm this Lucy."

Lucy looked at her lap and moved her hands slowly, all the while trying to formulate what she was going to say. She was trying to put in order her thoughts, just so that she would be able to make herself clear. But it was a bit difficult since she didn't know where to begin from.

Leighanne kept staring at her. Intensely. Not believing the scene, curious for what she had to say... Lucy caught her stare suddenly and gave her a questioning look.

"Oh, its just that..." - Leighanne began moving her right hand with gestures. - "... I can see why Brian fell for you... I mean, you are so beautiful and young..." - Leighanne said a bit awkward. She couldn't actually believe the words coming out of her mouth.

'Thanks." - Lucy smiled, a bit more confident now. - "Leighanne... I know you must think its so oddly strange that I'm here paying you this visit, but I just had... I needed to come here and talk to you. At first I also thought this whole idea was insane, and I'm still not convinced about the opposite yet... But I just had to try... I had to talk to you... You understand?"

"Sort of. I understand you wanting to talk to me to see if you could maybe change things from what they are, but I don't see how could this be possible. I love my husband, Lucy."

Lucy bit hard on her bottom lip. She fought extremely hard during a few seconds not to cry, and she won. Damn, what was she doing there? She had to be masochist, it was so obvious she was gonna have her heart broken! Or what did she expect? That Leighanne would put her eyes on her and say: 'No, Lucy, you can have Brian. He is all yours, thank you for coming...' Yeah, right.

"I know you do, Leighanne... I know. If you didn't love Brian you wouldn't have tried to kill yourself. What you did was very... intense. And I wouldn't dare judging your love for him... I'm not here to do that."

"Why are you here then?"

Here she was, in front of the woman causing her heartache... could Lucy really do that? Was she really doing that?

"I'm here because I fell in love with Brian almost six years ago... When I was seventeen we met, we fell... We kissed, and although I felt within me I would love him forever I went away. Maybe, Leighanne... maybe I shouldn't be here, maybe I'm really a fool for having let him go that day, when we felt we were meant to be... Its crazy, don't you think? Love at first sight is not supposed to last forever, specially if you don't see the person anymore..." - Lucy's tone was soft. - "But some things we can't understand... I was so immature, so stupid in going away... I hurt Brian and me at the same time. I thought I could hide from something that was inside my heart, and I obviously failed. That was how I lost Brian for the first time."

"But he married me... he wouldn't have done that if he were still in love with you..." - Leighanne said, her voice almost cracking.

Lucy nodded.

"Thats exactly what I thought. When I knew about the wedding... I broke apart. But I could blame no one but myself, and for so long I carried, and I still do carry this guilty feeling... I thought I would never cross Brian's way again, I thought I was just a silly girl picturing the kind of love we have in fairy tales, the ones that lasts forever... because I made my career, I got my fame, I got my dreams to come true, but never! There was never a day I didn't think of Brian... and never a night I didn't cry for him..."

"I'm sorry..."

"As Brian must have told you... When I achieved this celebrity status it was easy for him to see me again. Coz he hadn't heard of me since that day we kissed and I left. Brian saw me on TV and looked for me. Can you imagine my shock in seeing him again?" - Lucy was spilling her love through her words. She realized it was the first time she was telling someone about Brian and hers story. - "I put my eyes on him and I felt love, Leighanne... a love beyond everything I did to wipe it away, I felt love with my soul, not only my heart... And I knew I was damned to live without him. He was married, I was still too fucking proud to accept him... I didn't want to ruin his life, to make him suffer... Just because I didn't know how to love him... I'm wild, I was afraid I would run away again... he had his life so scheduled, I couldn't get in the way and cause him pain..."

"You really thought that?" - Leighanne searched her eyes. Despite the fact that her husband was the one she was talking about, Lucy's story was still unbelievable and fascinating.

"I did, Leighanne. And to let Brian go I ran away again. But this time it took me months, not years to realize I couldn't live, I didn't want to live without him. Brian loved me... I'm so sorry, but Brian loved me just the way I loved him, and running away from that was so painfully real that it cut my heart... it made us both bleed. This time I looked for Brian. We made up... I had found my way home... We wanted to be together... But... but now he is gone. And I'm not the wild kitten everybody says... Brian reaches Lucy in me... the one I truly am, and without him... nothing I do is worth it." - Lucy looked deeply into Leighanne's eyes.

"I'm sorry to hear that... You seem to like my husband quit a lot..." - Leighanne tried to sound nonchalant. It was hard to accept, she was writhing with the realization that that girl sitting in front of her loved her husband more than she could ever do! And she just didn't want, couldn't believe, accept that...

"I love Brian... I need Brian... I don't wanna live without him just because it hurts... I know I'm gonna love him forever, and every time I looked into his eyes I felt that same feeling we share... I needed to talk to you, to tell you what I feel, to... I don't know... I just wanted please for you to understand... at least understand that Brian was the only one who didn't ask for my love, because it was already there when we first locked eyes. And for this reason he will always keep my heart..."

"Lucy!" - Leighanne exclaimed, frowning. - "I understand what you are saying, but I... I'm pregnant! I'm expecting his baby! I didn't force Brian to be with me... if we are together now is because he wants it!"

"No, Leighanne. Is because he needs it." - Lucy said calmly. - "Before you came back from the hospital Brian took me here and told me about this baby. I'm not judging anything you feel or did, but if you had seen the look in his eyes when he told me we couldn't be together..." - Lucy sighed deeply. - "I admire Brian... I adore him... he is the most wonderful person in this world. And he wants to do what is right... he wants to raise his baby, he wants to be there for his kid, watch them grow... Brian is just lovely... I wish someday I could be half as good as him. But Leigh! How can he raise this baby if he is not completely happy? Please... please tell me you understand... Let Brian go... I love him so much, I need him..."

"Damn you Lucy!" - Leighanne exclaimed. - "I hate the fact that I can't actually hate you!" - Leighanne said honestly.

Lucy grinned and frowned at the same time.

"You know you are just... you are so beautiful and intelligent... I know you love Brian, but things just can't change... Brian won't go even if I tell him to, you understand? He wants our baby..."

"He can have you guy's baby! God... I'd never keep Brian from his child! If you allowed it, I would even take care of the kid with him... I would love Brian's child as if they were mine!" - Lucy said pressing both of her hands on the skin above her heart.

"No, Lucy... its not this..." - 'I ain't pregnant, fuck!' Leighanne thought exasperated.

"Leighanne..." - Lucy moved forward and took Leigh hands into hers.

The blond looked at her in the eyes. She was tense. God, why did she let Lucy in anyway? If she hadn't allowed that she wouldn't be so confused, feeling all sorts of good and evil feelings... Leighanne didn't want to understand what Lucy said with her brain, but she couldn't help what her heart felt... she couldn't help knowing she was in love with Brian. She couldn't stand watching her husband sad everyday and every night... she knew Brian was depressed! And Lucy just didn't have to touch that nerve right now...

"Leighanne... tell me honestly... Do you think Brian doesn't love me? Is he happy with you?" - Lucy's voice was teary, but she wouldn't cry. - "Tell me! Coz if he is happy with you... then I'll just accept it. Then I'll just take my silly dreams and hopes and bury them forever in the place they should have never come out from - my heart. But please tell me coz I need to know... is Brian in love with you? Is he happy with you? Is he?" - Lucy's voice pleaded.

Leighanne took her hands from Lucy's and buried her head there, when she broke down crying.

"Brian isn't in love with me...! I feel it... I know he is sad, fuck it! I know he loves you..." - Leighanne cried and sobbed. Her mother had always been the strong one, the brain between them. Without her Leighanne was an ambitious blondie that also had feelings, and those feelings were enough to make her cry watching a sad movie. They didn't fail when it came to reality. Leighanne couldn't stand it anymore, she didn't want to be a toy in her mother's hands anymore. To hell if she couldn't have the money... Brian's face, the sorrow in his eyes, the pain in his heart was something she felt, and it wasn't fair keeping this up... she just wouldn't be able to pull it through for the rest of her life. Die knowing that she did this to Brian... that she threw away his only chance of being complete in this life, of being happy. Of being in love.

Lucy's mouth dropped open in surprise, but she soon got over the shock and kneeled in front of Leighanne, taking the blond's hands from her face and looking into her eyes.

"Then Leigh! Please!" - Lucy smiled. - "Me and Brian... we can be together, you and him will raise this baby and the kid will be just happy to have so many people loving them! This will be so good... Can't you see? Brian will be the wonderful father he wants to be, and even better coz he is gonna be happy, he will be truly happy to raise this child with love!" - Lucy exclaimed happily.

"Stop it..." - Leigh whispered, thoughts rushing through her mind too quickly.

"But don't you see?" - Lucy still held her hands. - "Your baby is gonna have lots of people there for him, you can be happy Leigh, Brian can be happy... I need him, we need each other... I can already picture Brian walking around, carrying his baby all proud..." - Lucy smiled dreamily. - "I would help him, be always there for him..."

"Stop it...!" - Leighanne whispered desperately.

"Its gonna be perfect, Leigh! I love Brian... Brian loves me and loves your baby, he will raise them with you and..."

"STOP IT!" - Leighanne yelled taking her hands from Lucy's and running them through her hair.

Lucy stared at her immobile, fearfully.

"I'm not fucking pregnant."

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