Interview with Sebastian

Pablo Balthus interviews Sebastian (English translation by Charles Debussy)

• PB - Sebastian, how are you?
• S - Your wife and daughter are very nice, I want to fuck them both. My cock is hard.
• PB - You are the musical mind behind G & S, does this cause friction between you and Giovanni?
• S - None. Giovanni is the skin to my banana. He sheaths over my talent, whilst the fruit of my labours bulges like a shaft of entertainment.
• PB - Why did you split up in 1990?
• S - I was working on my film 'Mommy, Uncle's Back' and did not have the time to piffle around for the sake of my fucking fans. Giovanni spent a year in court with the confounded 'buggery incident' trial. I should have been there for him I suppose, I was a key witness - but films don't make themselves you know.
• PB - You are currently on your 18th marriage - however, you have yet to be divorced - does this cause problems?
• S - My wives know I love them all and they all respect me for sharing so much of my love - sometimes with six of them at once. Where I come from we have different laws and negligable morals. I am firm but fair with my wives, if one felt she wanted to leave, she would be virtually free to do so - subject to pre-nuptual clause 17.
• PB - Which is?
• S - You are not free to leave.
• PB - Do you regret shutting down your fan club?
• S - Now look here - the fucking fans waste so much of my valuable time - "sign this" - "autograph that" - "heal me" - I know I should be grateful for the enormous wealth and fame they have bought me, but you know sometimes I just wish they would all die.
• PB - How is the new album coming along?
• S - I am tired and weary of the new album - we have been working on it, on and off, for over thirteen years and I wish I could think of some more songs. I have no understanding of other peoples' feelings, so what do I write about? I can only relate to the wealthy, talented and those with titles. The fans don't understand this and say 'please bring us more music' I say fuck them.
• PB - Sebastian, thanks for your time.
• S - Your daughter has grown strong since we last met.