Beloved dead celebrity,
Though I never cared who you were,
You supply the poise to grope myself,
While those around me balk
I crawled out of the woodwork,
And then whispered to my wife,
Leave me in my boudoir,
Go about your contented life
My beloved dead celebrity,
You’re like a candle in the wind,
Never knowing what those videos meant,
When the rain set in
,
And I would have liked to have known you,
But I was just a kid,
And that half-assed playright Arthur Miller,
Was in like Errol Flynn,
Who can blame him?
Mr bream in cream was tough,
The toughest bream I ever consumed,
Hollywood created a dead superstar,
And bream was the reincarnation you assumed
Even when you died,
The way the press hounded you was obscene,
All the papers had to say,
Was that she came back as a pound of bream
Goodbye dead celebrity,
From the young man in the 22nd row,
Who sees you as something as more than sexual,
More than just bream in cream provencale
And I would have liked to have known you,
But I was just a kid,
And your candle burned out long before,
My libido ever did,
Goodbye dead celebrity,
We all miss you,
This song was written just for you,
All the money will go the charity that you,
Nobody else but you wanted,
The B-Sides I cannot discuss at this time,
Goodbye dead celebrity,
We wish you well.