Tattoo: Munch munch munch
Count Balthus:Tattoo! Bad of the rather naughty of the dwarf – come here at the of the once!
Tattoo:Oh oh, he’s discovered the porridge
Count Balthus:Tattoo my box of porridge is nearly of the empty – you have eatings of it!
Tattoo:Dohhhhhhh, I replaced the missing porridge oats with sawdust too – I’m so naughty
Count Balthus:What do you say Tattoo? What is of it? Say it!
Tattoo:
I’m so sorry,
Please cry for me
For knowing I’m a dwarf but insisting I’m tall,
For wanting everything to be only three foot small,
For swallowing all that porridge, about a bowl and a half,
For munching it all down when Count Balthus was in the bath.
For forgetting to wash Giovanni’s pants for two months on the trot,
For cooking Sebastian cabbage pie, and then eating the lot,
For all the times I’ve tumbled, and I’ve been practicing for so long,
But I still get the tumbles wrong
I’m so sorry,
Please cry for me
For trying to be so sneaky behind Count Balthus’s back,
For stealing all his porridge, replacing sawdust in the pack,
For looking at Mrs Balthus when she’s taking off her dress
And proceeding to make such a mess
For demanding to be payed at least 3 months each year,
For playing on Balthus’s trombone when I thought no-one could hear,
Well yeah, I played the theme from Countdown and I played it without shame,
But I played it just the same
And I’m so sorry,
Please Cry For me
For coming to completion in the middle of the news,
For burping in your ear when I was all pissed up on booze,
For wanting to touch your bottom with these cold, cold hands,
For wanting to have Count Balthus’s porridge just because I can
For always running from badgers when I ought to stand and fight,
For suppressing my flatulence ‘cause I’m too hot diggerty polite,
And then for thinking that by simply saying Cry for the dwarf,
I could suddenly make everything alright
I’m so sorry,
Please cry for me
I’m so sorry,
Please cry for me
