Hello.
I am Tattoo the dwarf.
I love performing with Giovanni & Sebastian.
Okay, so they mock me, but only in an ironic way. They never mention my lack of height - they merely kick me, laugh at the vast amount of wasted air above my head and insult me as though I were a non-vertically challenged normal human - which I am not - I am Tattoo the dwarf.
I sing and I dance, I tumble and I do wonderful pratt-falls, I serve Rich Tea biscuits and I perform light wrestling routines - they chose me to perform with them because of my vast stage and television experience.
I have appeared in many different movies in many different roles. I have played roles as diverse as a munchkin, a midget, a dwarf, a bar of chocolate and, controversially, a bucket of shit (although that scene was eventually edited out)
I soon tired of acting after being typecast for many roles - I played another bar of chocolate in a sci-fi movie and starred in the classic Albanian musical "Pele And The Bucket Of Shit" - I played Pele's pet dwarf.
It was then I met Giovanni & Sebastian who invited me to serve for them and to "vent anger upon" - how could I resist? I initially refused to perform in their 'bar of chocolate' routine as I had tired of such undignified performances, but soon I became enveloped within my new career and these days I am so mistreated and mentally numb I have no sense of humiliation whatsoever.
Well, I must go now - I have more tumbling routines to rehearse than I dare to mention - goodbye up there.
