JAMES HADLEY CHASE- A Tribute by a Die Hard Fan
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Interesting Trivia |
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Here is a very creative composition by Jalal, an avid Chase fan from Nigeria (with minor editorial modifications by me):
CHAPTER ONE
Well, GET A LOAD OF THIS: My marriage to EVE turned out to be
a HIT AND RUN affair, the #@*%# really HIT ME WHERE IT HURTS (my heart) and ONE
BRIGHT SUMMER MORNING, ran away with my money. It was a SHOCK TREATMENT, as I
thought she really loved me, but WHY PICK ON ME? Well sooner or later, I
would catch up with her, as GOLDFISH HAVE NO HIDING PLACE and since I have AN EAR
TO THE GROUND, I figure that she has BUT A SHORT TIME TO LIVE, (This sounds familiar,
no?) Anyway I must state once again that I am not BELIEVED VIOLENT.
CHAPTER TWO
BELIEVE THIS, YOU WILL BELIEVE ANYTHING, but I am going to
HAVE A CHANGE OF SCENE once again; this time I am on my way to Nairaland, where
I learnt anything goes!!! For a start, I am going to smuggle in lots of cash
concealed in a COFFIN FROM HONG KONG, so as to confuse the EFCC boys!!! THIS IS
FOR REAL and YOU CAN SAY THAT AGAIN!!
CHAPTER THREE
My contact Mal- Olori (MALLORY) picked me up at the airport
and took me to a hotel in Ojuelegba, which he told me was the best area for
tasting the FLESH OF THE ORCHID, Later that night, I attended a P-Square
concert; that was where I saw Sinazy, It was as if MISS SHUMWAY (had) WAVED A
WAND over me - the sight of her was hypnotic, she was a hot-angel and had looks
that could MAKE THE CORPSE WALK. She was shaking her bizzy body to the beats. I couldn't
resist the temptation to talk to her, So I went over and said, "WELL NOW MY
PRETTY, what's your name?" She sized me up and said, "YOU MUST BE
KIDDING, DO ME A FAVOUR, DROP DEAD!!!". But I wasn't to be discouraged.
As
I was on my way back to the hotel, I was accosted by two policemen, "Oga,
where's your particulars"?, one of them asked, I was speechless and the
only thing I could say turned out to be the P-Square lyrics, which I had picked
up at the club and which were running through my mind. It went like this "Oga
police, na wetin be this? U jus dey stress me, dey vex me, which kind yawa be
this!!" The police officers were apparently shocked, as one of them yelled,
"Ehen, so u think you are smart ehn? This is refamation, I mean defamation
and drunk walking!! U must settle us or u go spend the night in a cell for such nonsense!!!". Well, since I had THE WORLD IN MY POCKET, that wouldn't be a
problem I thought, so I brought out some crisp dollar notes - the WHIFF OF MONEY
brought them to full attention and I gave them $100. "Emm, HAVE A NICE
NIGHT, Sir", they exclaimed and saluted. Well seems "I HOLD THE FOUR
ACES, now" I thought,
"This one na COME EASY, GO EASY!!", I heard one policeman say to the
other.
CHAPTER FOUR
The next day, I saw her again at Nairaland, the local joint,
she was the cynosure of all eyes. So mustering up all my courage I went up to her
and offered her a drink saying "HAVE THIS ONE ON ME". She accepted,
but poured the contents over my shirt, "TELL IT TO THE BIRDS!!!", she
replied. Her action sent an electric shock through my body, somewhat like SHOCK
TREATMENT!! "WELL, THERE'S ALWAYS A PRICE TAG", I thought, "WHATS
BETTER THAN MONEY"?, its JUST A MATTER OF TIME, when you will be mine",
I consoled myself.
That's when Bagoma came up to me and said "
Sorry about my friends behavior, but a guy once gave her the DOUBLE SHUFFLE, that's
why guys to her are TRUSTED LIKE THE FOX!!!! But you seem such a good guy,
so don't worry, I'll put in a good word for you". "YOU MUST BE
KIDDING!!", I said. "Not at all", she replied, "anyway
nice2have spoken to you". Isheun, the owner of Nairaland came up to me and
apologized. "Sorry, sometimes it gets rowdy in here, so I keep trying to
enforce the rules but to no avail!! He handed me a shirt with the inscription
"Nairaland Rocks" on the front, "TRY THIS ONE FOR SIZE", as
yours is ruined, he said. "Thanks", I said, "I shall treasure
it. Anyway, do you have a size TREIZE (13) for my soul sista Nike4luv"?
"Sure", he replied, "please don't forget to register as a member, you could stand the
chance of winning a place in our Top Ten Nairalanders Promotion and win some
great prizes". "Ok", I replied," Hey I really like this
joint of yours, are you willing to sell? A million dollars, STRICTLY FOR CASH"?
"No thanks", he replied, "I WOULD RATHER STAY POOR, than sell Nairaland".
"Ok", I replied, "But don't forget, YOU HAVE YOURSELF A DEAL,
if you
change your mind". "Hmm", thought Isheun, "First, they want
my head for being so strict, now they want my job!!!, Seems I will be SAFER
DEAD!!. Anyway Nairaland and I, WE'LL SHARE A DOUBLE FUNERAL!!!
CHAPTER FIVE
Six months later,after a lot of follow ups... "KNOCK
KNOCK, (pounding on my door) WHO'S THERE?",I asked, "Its me Sinazy!!"
"Really!!, well as they say, THE VULTURE IS A PATIENT BIRD!!!!," I shouted with
joy. "And YOU'VE GOT IT COMING". She smiled, came in and closed the
door.
Well the rest is x-rated, so FIGURE IT OUT FOR YOURSELF!!!!!!, but just know
that, as I am about to LAY (figure of speech) HER AMONG THE LILIES, MY LAUGH
(still) COMES LAST!!!! once again!!!!!
THE END
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Chase fan, Ravi Thyagarajan, USA, first informed me that a "rare" Chase title, He Lived Only For Revenge, was selling for about $ 400; apparently only one copy seemed to exist.. A scan of this book, originally taken by Grant Theissen, who purchased it from Ebay, is shown on the left. Chase fan, Phillipe Soula, has provided a scan of the book, Have A Change of Scene (Corgi edition), which is reproduced on the right. Chase fan, Vladimir Matushenko has informed that the true author of the book is an American, Nick Quarry, pseudonym of Marvin Hubert Albert (1924-1996) and that the original title of this novel is "The Vendetta" (1973). |
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Chetan Malviya, a fan from India has submitted his perception of JHC and this website as below: (with minor editorial modifications by me):
I
am great fan of JHC. I have been
reading his novels since the last 25 years.
Till date, I have around 60 novels in my collection. I have read some of
his novels 4 to 5 times. Unfortunately none of my friends or relatives are fans
of JHC. So in a way, I was starved
for discussion on Chase. I was eagerly looking for some Forum where I could
share my thoughts, discuss the author, his novels, his characters, his writing
style, his story plots and so on. Few days back while searching on Google, I
came across this great website on JHC. And what a website!! To me, it was like
breeze of fresh air. It was like a pot of cold water for a thirsty person. I
could not have enough. Like a thirsty person who drinks cold water greedily, I
read all the contents in the website in one go. It was a dream come true for me,
reading about the characters, plots, Paradise City, Orchid City and so on.
I identified my thoughts on JHC with this website. It is the most
comprehensive, exhaustive and thorough website on James Hadley Chase.
Well,
I wish to add my own perception about JHC’s style of writing.
Central
Female Character Depicted as Villain:
Greedy for money, ruthless;
cold-blooded, a nympho, utterly selfish and emotionless.
It seems that JHC was deeply hurt by some woman in his life at some point
of time. Maybe she ditched him, made use of him and deserted him for some rich
person. A bewafa or unfaithful woman, as depicted in our Indian films.
Examples are Thea Forrester (Believed Violent) Rima Marshall (What’s
better than Money), Lola (Come Easy, Go Easy) etc.
Vocabulary:
JHC used some typical words in his novels, which I have not come across
in novels by other authors. For example, he snarled, grimaced, flinched,
leered, brooded, snorted etc. However, he used such words in a very
effective manner, so the reader could imagine the face of the character doing
such an unusual act. For example, it is easy to visualize the face of Lu Silk
when he snarled. Or that of Tom Lepski, when he snorted. Such was the effective
depiction of characters by Chase.
Food
and Drinks:
It seems that JHC was food of fond, particularly seafood. French cuisine,
though often irrelevant to the plot of his novels or irrelevant to the
situation, was lavishly described. Descriptions included fried oysters wrapped
up in bacon, sweet pepper stew, a Hungarian dish of lamb paprika potatoes etc.
(Believed Violent), ‘mountains’
of spaghetti, pork chops with French fries, fried onions, fresh garden peas and
apple-pie (There is Hippie on The High Way) etc. Often his characters
would love whiskey or dry martinis. His characters would often pour a long shot
of whiskey in a glass and gulp it in one go.
Character
Description and Visualization:
JHC would often describe his characters painstakingly. Even if a character had a
brief presence in a particular situation, Chase would physically describe the
character first and take up the situation subsequently. Such was his description
that one could easily visualize how Tom Lepski, Mark Girland or Herman Radnitz
would look like.
I
still wonder way JHC never capitalized on characters like Mark Girland or Tom
Lepski. It is my earnest wish that a good Hollywood / Bollywood movie be made by
using above characters. Just like James bond is a brand by itself, above
characters of Chase could also be built into brands on long-term basis, if the
idea was properly conceived and nurtured.
Chase
was also a master of comparative statements. Such comparisons would perfectly
explain the prevailing situation. For example, the porter snapped the
five-dollar note the way a lizard snaps a fly. Or they
came to Paradise City cautiously, like the rats coming out in sunshine.
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