Setting: Encore! Encore! sitcom.

*Joe/Joseph Pinoni - (Nathan Lane)
*Marie “Mama” Pinoni - Joe and Francesca's Mother, Michael’s grandmother
*Francesca Pinoni - Joe's sister, Michael's mother
*Michael Pinoni - Joe’s Nephew, Francesca's son
*Claude - Joe’s best friend

Show Plot: Joe is a famous opera singer who lost his voice, spent all his money and pretty much lost all his friends, so he moves into the home (a winery) of his mother, sister and nephew. Not thrilled to be there, and still annoyed by the loss of his singing voice, he tries to maintain his sanity.

Story Plot: Back in high school, Joe was infatuated with Annie Telia and wanted, more than anything, to ask her to the Senior prom, but she declined. She told him she only wanted to be friends, and she went to the prom with someone else. Joe stopped seeing her after that and left town soon after graduation. Now she’s in town and he’s intent on getting her to be with him.

[RATED: R for Mild Language & Sexual Content]

“Michael, you have to leave the house, immediately!” Joe said, shortly. His statement was met with a confused look on his nephew’s face, who was descending the stairs.

“Why, Uncle Joe? What’s goin’ on?” he asked.

“Never mind. Where’s your mother and grandmother?”

“They’re upstairs cleaning out mom’s closet. We’ve been working on it all morning while you were down here.” Michael grabs an apple out of the bowl of fruit sitting on the table.

“Oh, great. Lord knows what’s in your mother’s closet. This could take days. Weeks, even!” Joe sighs, heavily.

Michael proceeds back up the stairs.

“Where are you going?!” barked Joe.

“Back upstairs?”

“No, no! Well, just go up there long enough to tell them to get down here. And hurry up!”

Michael gave his uncle a quizzical look.

“Just do it” Joe replied.

Several minutes later, Michael returns downstairs, with his mother and grandmother, to find a pacing Joe in the living room.

“There you are!” he snapped.

“Joey, what’s going on? Michael said you wanted him to leave the house” Marie noted.

“Mama, don’t be silly! I want you all to leave the house! And quickly, I might add!” Joe shuffles towards them, shooing them with his hands.

“Joe, is there a reason we’re being thrown out of our own house?” Francesca asked.

“Yes, but there’s no time to explain” he replied, still scurrying them to the door.

Marie shot him a stern look, “Make time, Joseph.”

“Oh, all right! An old school friend of mine is coming over. She’ll be here any minute and I don’t want you all poking around in my business. There. Now, off you go!”

“A girl, huh Uncle Joe? Way to go!” Michael winked in Joe’s direction.

“Just go and don’t come back until....hopefully, a couple of days.”

“Joe!” quipped Francesca.

“All right, all right. Until dark?” he looked for approval, but was met with three heads shaking back and forth. “Early evening?” This time three faces looking sourly at him. “Okay, fine! Whenever you feel the need to come back, but take your time!”

The three neglected family members are rushed out the door, and Joe goes upstairs to prepare.

“Coming!” is yelled from the stairs as Joe hurries to reach the door. He takes a deep breath before opening it.

“Joe?” says the beautiful woman standing before him.

“Annie!” he practically forces a hug out of her. “You look....incredible! Come in!” he steps aside to let her in.

“Wow, you’ve got a great place here! The view is terrific!”

Joe’s eyes are fixed on her rear. “It certainly is.” She turns and he regains his composure. “Uh, please, have a seat!”

He motions for her to sit on the sofa where he’s set out one of the winery’s finest bottles. He sits only a foot away from Annie, on her left side. He opens the wine and pours them each a glass. Annie smiles at it’s taste.

“So,” he starts, “How have you been?”

“Well, not to sound pitiful, but I’ve been quite lonely the past year or so. My ex-fiance and I had been together for 3 years and we broke up a year ago. I haven’t been very social in that time, and I realized that I have to get out and start being around people again. I was in town and I figured I’d look you up. I heard about your voice and--”

“Please, let’s not discuss me.” He realizes what he said. “That’s the first” he mumbles, to himself. “So, you were lonely and you came to see me? I‘m touched!”

“Well, I’m actually in town to visit my aunt, but I thought it’d be nice to stop and say hi to you while I’m here.”

“Oh. Well, you’re here and that’s all that matters. Where are you staying?” he asks as he pours more wine.

“I’m staying with my aunt about 10 miles from here. She has a small house in the country.”

“Fascinating!” he says, with a little too much enthusiasm.

“Oh, would you excuse me?” he asks her as he rises to get the door. She nods.

Joe opens the door and finds his good friend, Claude, standing there. Joe doesn’t move out of the way, “Not now! Go away!”

“What do you mean, ‘Go away?’ I just got here!” he says, with his strong French accent.

Joe turns to Annie and holds up a finger indicating her to wait a minute. She smiles at him. He pushes Claude out the door and shuts it behind them. “Claude, that girl in there declined my invitation for our Senior prom years ago, and now she’s walked back into my life, practically begging me to take her back. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I seriously doubt she’ll be willing to throw herself at me if you’re standing here watching!”

“So, you’re choosing a girl over your best friend?”

Joe looks like he’s thinking for a second, “Yes! Goodbye!”

Claude shrugs, “I don’t blame you. Let me know how it goes!”

“Right!”

Joe rushes back inside as Claude leaves. “Sorry about that. He needed to borrow a cup of sugar.”

“But you didn’t give him any, did you?” she asked, noticing that he hadn’t come in to get any from the kitchen. “Unless you keep it outside?”

“Uh, no, I told him we were out of sugar. I had to uh, explain it to him....outside. Because....he‘s French! Now where were we?” He grins, “Ah, yes.” He leans in to kiss her, but she backs away.

“Joe, what are you doing?” she asked, surprised at his sudden actions.

“Well, it’s what a guy does right before he’s about to kiss a girl. I could do it without leaning, but my mouth would never reach yours, and the desired effect would never happen.” He smiles and tries again.

Annie scoots to the far end of the sofa. “Joe--”

“Sshh, you don’t have to explain. I know why you came to see me.”

“You do?”

“Of course. It’s all so clear. You said yourself that you’ve been lonely, and you felt the urge to see me. You want me to make you unlonely. And that’s what I’m about to do.” He starts scooting towards her.

“Wait, you don’t understand. I came here to tell you that I was sorry if I hurt you that day I turned you down for the prom. When you stopped seeing me and then you left town, I figured that you had strong feelings for me, and that must’ve been hard for you. And I’m sorry. But the friendship we had was very special to me. I followed your career and I never forgot you. I just wanted you to know that.” She hoped that he would believe her. She really did cherish their friendship, and she wanted him to know it.

Joe sat and thought for a moment. He perked up again, “If you wanna save me from that hurt again, you’ll say you wanna be more than friends from now on.” He raised his eyebrows and smiled, innocently.

“Joe, I....I still don’t like you that way. Plus I just got over my ex-fiance and I don’t even know you, anymore. I wouldn’t feel right--”

“Of course you know me! I’m still the same ol’ Joseph Pinoni who used to carry your books to class and make you laugh at lunchtime when I’d make milk come out my nose.”

“I wasn’t laughing. I was trying not to be sick.”

A confused look comes and goes on his face. “Annie, listen. How about we just try out this more-than-friends thing and see how it works. Then, at least, we’ll know we didn’t miss out on something magical.” He makes puppy-dog eyes at her.

She considers it. “No, I don’t think so. I do think that I’d better go.” She gets up to leave.

Joe looks frustrated and begs her not to leave, but she keeps going for the door. “Please, don’t go! We can play Monopoly! Or....watch some Tv! I’ve got home movies of my sister falling down the stairs! It gets laughs every time it’s played!” Annie opens the door. “Wait! Annie, come back!”

“Goodbye, Joseph.”

He goes for seduction, “I don’t know if you know this or not, but I was voted Most Impressive In Bed all through my high school years.” His sentence is ended with the shutting of the door.

He stands by the door and sighs. Just then, the door opens suddenly and hits him in the head. He stands back and Annie walks in, unaware that she hit him.

She stands there for a second, and then says, “Most Impressive?”

Joe raises an eyebrow and grins at her as he nods. Annie jumps into his arms and they kiss passionately. Joe nearly falls backwards and Annie asks if he’s okay.

“Yeah, I just--”

She notices the red mark on his forehead, “Oh, Joe! You’ve got a bump on your head! What happened?”

“I hit my head on the door” he said, not blaming her.

“You shouldn’t have done that, you coulda hurt yourself! Here, you lay down and I’ll go get you some ice.” She helped him to the sofa and let him lay down as she went into the kitchen and came back with an icepack.

She sat on the side of him and brushed his hair back off his forehead, with her hand, and held the icepack on his head. “You poor thing.”

More interested in making out with her than in icing his head, he insisted that he was fine. “I’m all right, really. It’s nothing.”

“Sshh, don’t talk. Just rest. We can’t have you walking around with a nasty bump on your head, now can we?”

“There are more important things we could be doing.” He tries to get up.

Annie put her hand on his chest and gently pushed him back down. “We can do whatever you want, right here. But you should rest a bit and not try to push it.”

His eyes lit up, “Whatever I want?”

“Within reason,” she smiled at him. She sat the icepack on the back of the sofa and lightly kissed the bump on his forehead. His hair was tousled and she realized how adorable he was. She continued smiling at him.

“What?” he asked, in regards to her smiling.

“I never noticed how attractive you are,” she admitted.

“It’s about time!” he said, jokingly. He reached up and stroked her cheek with his hand. He sat up, slowly, and leaned in to kiss her. She didn’t back away, this time. They kissed for several moments, and then she repositioned herself. She sat on the sofa and he laid his head on her lap. She ran her fingers through his hair. Her hand wandered down to the collar of his black, buttoned shirt. She undid several of the buttons and slipped her hand into his shirt. Rubbing his chest with one hand and still running her fingers through his hair with the other hand.

Joe moaned softly and closed his eyes as she explored him. The smile on his face let her know that he liked what she was doing. But he wanted more.

“I think I’ve rested enough,” he said, as he sat up and faced her, scooting only inches from her body. He reached for her blouse and started to unbutton it. “My turn,” he whispered.

He unbuttoned all the buttons and slowly slipped her shirt off of her. His hands cupped her breasts before reaching behind her to unfasten the clasp of her bra. Of course, this didn’t work out like he planned. He couldn’t get the clasp undone. “Damn! There should be a law against these things! Or at least some sort of key that all men should carry in their pocket to unlock these things.”

She giggled and reached back to unfasten it for him. Her bra was off in a snap. “I think you’ve got more than enough in your pocket,” she joked, looking down at his pants.

Annie seductively slid her hand along his upper leg and rested it on the front of his pants, causing him to gasp a bit. “How about you show me your room?”

“I’ve always wanted you to ask me that,” he said, enthusiastically, as he stood up and took her hand to lead her up the stairs.

At the bottom of the stairs they embraced each other and kissed deeply.

“We’d better get you upstairs before someone comes home. I’d hate to share this image of you with anyone else.” He considers for a moment, “Especially my mother.”

They kiss again and then head upstairs.

Once inside Joe’s room, they shut and lock the door. Annie has her back against the door, and Joe has her pinned against it, kissing her madly. His tongue exploring every inch of her mouth. They both make small moans and sighs as they taste each other. Joe’s shirt is open now, and Annie runs her hands along his chest, down to his stomach and around to his back. Her nails slide down his back, making him hold her more tightly against him.

Annie brings her hands back up to the front of him and starts to unfasten his pants. She reaches inside them and grabs him, massaging him as they kiss. Her other hand is on the back of his neck, tangling his hair around her fingers. His hands are exploring her back and butt, kneading it each time she grabs him.

I’ve wanted you like this for so long,” he growled in her ear, making her more aroused.

“Then take me,” she growled back.

He pulled her over to his bed, and they flopped down on it, with him on top.

He undid her pants and slipped them off. He smiled at her panties which were covered in little orchids. “My favourite flower,” he smirked. “But, all good things must go!” he said, as he slipped them off of her.

He started to take off his own pants, but she stopped him. “Joe, leave your clothes on.” He looked at her, uncertain. “Just for now, leave them on. It....turns me on seeing you half undressed like this. Leaves more to the imagination.”

He grinned and obliged. He crawled back on top of her and made love to her with his shirt open and his pants slightly down around his rear. Annie clawed at his back, under his shirt, and screamed his name as they climaxed. Joe moaned loudly and even caused the headboard to hit the wall several times.

When they were through, he rolled over on his side and caught his breath. He held Annie’s hand on his chest and she could feel his heart beating fast before finally slowing to it’s normal speed.

“That was incredible!” he said, turning to kiss her.

“I’ll say! I can’t believe this is what I missed out on. Joe, I’m really sorry about that. I should’ve given us a chance, then.”

“All that matters is that we’re here, now. I’m more than happy, and I wouldn’t change a thing if it meant giving up this moment with you.” He sounded so sincere.

“Joey? Why do you have the door locked?” came the voice of his mother from the other side of the door. “Do you have a girl in there?”

Joe sat up quickly. “No, mama! I’m just....working on something. I’ll be out soon!” He hoped she’d go away. He didn’t want everyone knowing that he was in bed with Annie or they’d think he tricked her into doing something she wouldn’t normally have done.

“Are you sure you don’t have a girl in there?”

Joe hastily buttoned his shirt and fastened his pants. He opened the door a crack, just enough to show that he was dressed and nothing was going on, but not enough that his mother would see someone on his bed. “Mama, I don’t have a girl in here. Annie left an hour ago.”

“Well then, these must be yours.” She held up a blouse and a bra.

Joe grabbed them fast. “Yes! They’re a....part of a costume of mine. Now, if you don’t mind, I’d like to be alone for a little while.” He shut the door.

From the other side of the door, he could hear his mother say under her breath, “I’d hate to imagine what for.”

Back on the bed, Annie was giggling into a pillow.

“Do you see what it’s like living with these people? I mean, if my mother weren’t bad enough, I’ve got a sister who’s just like her and a nephew who I can’t even explain. But he does make an excellent martini, so I can’t complain too much about him.” He sat on the bed and looked a bit disappointed.

Annie sat up and gave him a big hug and a kiss. “You poor thing” she said, as she planted kisses down his cheek and neck. She nibbled his ear and suggested a home remedy for his problems.

“How ‘bout you get out of those clothes and we slip under the covers?” she asked, slyly.

“Sounds like a plan to me!” he chirped. He stood and got undressed, and was about to get into bed, when he thought of something. He went to his record player and put on one of his best records. “Me!” he said happily, as if she’d asked who the record was of. He climbed into bed and cuddled up to Annie.

They began kissing and caressing each other when she stopped. “Joe?”

“Hm?” he mumbled.

“How am I gonna get outta here without your family seeing me leave?”

He thought for a second. “They’re all going out to church tomorrow morning! You can leave then!”

“You mean, spend the night here? Stay in your room for the rest of the day and all night, until morning?” She sounded concerned.

“Do you mind?” he asked, uncertain.

She smiled, “Not at all,” then kissed him.

The sounds of his best album echoed through the room, and leaked out into the hallway for the others to hear, but they figured he was just enjoying the sound of his own voice. They felt sad for Joe. His only company being his own records, and his solitude. Little did they know that it was only a cover while he was under the covers. That is, until the following morning when they left for church and Joe was seeing Annie to the door.

The door opened as they reached for it.

“Oh, hello there!” Marie, said as she came face to face with Annie.

“Uh, hi!” replied Annie, completely off guard.

Joe had a look of guilt on his face that he tried to hide behind an excuse. “Annie came to the back door just as you left the front way, mama. She only just got here.”

“And you’re leaving, already?” she asked, Annie.

“She was just here to pick something up that she left here, yesterday,” Joe explained.

Marie looked Annie over. “Oh. You came to pick up Joe’s blouse and bra, I see.” She grinned, knowingly, at the two of them.

Joe looked embarrassed, but not nearly as much as Annie.

“Your secret’s safe with me,” Marie said, as she grabbed her car keys and made her way back out the door. “Nice meeting you.” And the door shut.

Annie turned to look at Joe, who was scuffing his toe on the carpet. “Guess I don’t have to secretly hide out in your room, anymore.”

He looked up at her. “Well, the others still don’t know about you,” he grinned, mischievously.

“I’ll see you later today, then?” she asked.

“Bring your jammies, and I’ll stash some food in my room so you won’t get hungry, tonight,” he said, giddily, while smiling.

“Deal,” she said.

They kissed each other goodbye, for the time being. During the night, while they were together in Joe’s room, once more, he put on another record, and they danced together, all night, making up for lost opportunities.

The End

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Last Updated: 05 September 2002.
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Story Copyright © 2002, Lisa Inc.
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