[RATED: PG-13 for Strong Language & Sexual References]

Cake

“Armand. I’ve met someone else.” The sentence replayed itself in Albert’s head a million times and he still couldn’t believe he had actually said it to his lover. But he had. And it took all his willpower to do it.

A muffled laugh. “What are you talking about?” Armand said, not taking it seriously.

“I’ve met someone else,” Albert repeated. He sounded like his usual self. He said it without making it sound like a big deal. Even though it was. Especially to him. But he didn’t want to make a fuss about it. His mind was made up, and he knew it was time to come clean.

“Albert, if this is about that tiff we had the other morning, I’m sorry. I hadn’t had my coffee yet, and you know how I get.” Armand ruffled through some sheet music on his piano. He’d apologized just to get Albert to drop the subject.

Albert stood looking off into the distance. Perhaps thinking about what he was about to do. Or perhaps just letting his mind be elsewhere.

Then he focused. “Yes, Armand. I know how you get. You get irrational, irritated, harsh and when you’re not ignoring me, you’re cutting me down for some petty thing or other. And it’s not just before you’ve had your coffee. It’s before, during and after. I just can’t take the abuse anymore.”

Not looking up from his ruffling of sheet music, Armand quietly and calmly replied, “I don’t ignore you. And I sure as hell don‘t abuse you. I‘ve never laid a finger on you.”

“Yes. You do ignore me. I try my best to make myself look good for you. I’ve been on diets left and right and for what? You never have anything supportive to say to me. All you care about is getting me on that stage to perform like some circus act. Never once have you told me what a great job I’ve done or how wonderful I looked. ” Emotion took hold of Albert for a brief moment, but he held back the tears and remained in control. “And you’re right about not laying a finger on me. Which is a whole other subject!”

“Nonsense,” replied Armand. He sat at the piano and started playing a tune.

“Armand! You’re not even paying attention to me now!” Albert huffed.

“Of course I am. I just have to finish this song for you’re performance tomorrow night. Have you gotten that dress fixed yet? I told you not to move around in it so much. It was bound to rip, the way you were strutting around in it.”

“Ugh!” Albert stomped off into the bedroom and slammed the door.

“Albert!? What’s wrong, now?” Armand yelled, towards the bedroom. He sighed and got up to go see what was the matter.

When he walked into the bedroom, he found Albert packing his things into suitcases.

“What are you doing?” Armand questioned.

“I’m leaving you, Armand.” Albert was still fighting back tears.

“Leaving me? Are you crazy? What’s the matter with you?”

Albert stopped and turned to Armand, smiling a sympathetic smile. “You see? You never listen to me, Armand. Or you’d have heard when I told you, twice, that I’ve met someone else. Someone who treats me the way I deserve to be treated. Someone who isn’t worried about having me perform at their club if I don’t feel like it, or if I’m too upset because I’m ignored all the time.” He continued packing.

Armand laughed a nervous laugh and walked closer to Albert. “Look, I’m sorry if I upset you, but there’s no need to act all this out--”

Albert cut him off, “’Act all this out?!’ Armand, I’m not acting. I’m really leaving you!” His slightly angered voice toned down to a sincere level. “As much as it hurts me to leave you, I think it’s for the best. I need more in my life, Armand, and I don’t think you can give it to me. If you haven’t all these years, then I don’t think you ever will.”

“Well, what is it that you need? I’ll give it to you. Just tell me what it is I’m doing wrong.” Armand realized that he was actually about to lose Albert, and he had to fix things before it was too late.

“I’m sorry Armand.” He closed his two suitcases. “I’ll always love you, but I have to do this.”

He tried carrying the suitcases on his own, but they were too heavy and he swayed from side to side as he dragged them across the floor. He grew frustrated and, at the thought of ruining the perfect exit, he let out a cry and dropped the suitcases.

“I’ll send someone for my things!” he shouted as he ran, weeping, out the door.

Armand watched in disbelief and shock, and did nothing to stop Albert from walking out of his life.

Not long after Albert left, he and his new lover, Matthew, celebrated their one-month anniversary together. Matthew was a journalist for a local newspaper. He wrote a column on the gay dating scene and gave advice to people who wrote in. Many times, he used Albert as the perfect example of how Mr. Right is out there waiting for you, and you only have to find him. Albert was flattered when Matthew wrote about him. It let him know that he was noticed, and loved.

Matthew had a lovely apartment not far from Albert’s former home. The two of them met in the bakery, one Saturday morning. They both had ordered a strawberry shortcake, but there was only one left. Albert gave in and told Matthew that he could have it.

“I’m watching my weight, anyway,” Albert explained.

“From what I can see, there’s no need,” Matthew said, flirtatiously, causing Albert to blush, slightly. “I’ve got an idea. How about I buy the cake, and you come over to my place later and we can eat it, together?”

Albert kindly declined, explaining that he was in a relationship. Matthew understood, but gave Albert his card. “Just in case,” he said.

Later that morning, Albert arrived back home and Armand was sitting in the kitchen waiting for his coffee. Their maid had taken a couple days off to visit family, and Armand was useless around the kitchen, and especially before his morning coffee. He was reading the paper when Albert walked in. Albert was his usual cheery self, but Armand wasn’t in the mood. He insisted that Albert fix him his coffee. Albert had other things to do first, but said he’d get to it, and Armand grew impatient. Albert went into his speech about how he was only there to do things for Armand, and a quarrel ensued.

So, Albert made Armand his coffee, and upon serving him, he announced that he was going out. Armand took no notice.

Albert went to Matthew’s apartment, but froze at the door. He asked himself what he was doing there, and when he turned to walk away, he came face to face with Matthew.

Matthew had just returned from the store. He told Albert that he had forgotten some milk to go with the cake. Albert smiled. Matthew invited him in, only after he told Albert that he was glad to see him. Albert accepted his invitation to enter, and thought no more about why he was there.

Since it was morning, and a bit too early for cake, Matthew and Albert spent several hours talking and getting to know each other. Matthew asked about Albert’s relationship and Albert told him how Armand treated him. Matthew said nobody deserves to be ignored and used like that. Albert felt grateful for Matthew’s kind words and understanding. He felt as though he’d gotten a lot of repressed feelings out in the open, and that it somehow made him more confident.

By lunchtime, Matthew and Albert felt very comfortable with each other. They decided to watch some movies together. Matthew was a movie buff and had over 300 in his collection. They were all neatly arranged on huge shelves beside the large-screen television. They both sat on the sofa and watched several movies while eating the strawberry shortcake that was purchased earlier that day. They laughed and cried at the various movies, and ate almost the entire cake.

“Oh, I bet I gained five pounds from eating all of that,” Albert said. “It went straight to my ass. I know it!”

“Lemme take a look,” Matthew said, somewhat startling Albert. Matthew grinned and started laughing, which broke the ice, and caused Albert to laugh in return.

Matthew slowly stopped laughing as he began to stare at Albert. He loved the way Albert laughed. How happy he looked. He felt awful that anyone could treat someone so beautiful, so badly. Matthew thought how he would never treat Albert badly. He’d cherish every moment he had with him, and treat him well.

Albert noticed that Matthew had stopped laughing and that he was staring at him. “What? Do I have icing on my face, or something?”

Matthew smiled. “Yeah. Just a little. Here. Let me.” He scooted over a bit and lightly brushed his thumb along the side of Albert’s mouth. Then he leaned in and gave him a gentle kiss.

Albert parted his lips and allowed himself the pleasure of being kissed in a passionate manner. That unlike the way Armand kisses him, which is usually just a small peck, that seems more like routine, rather than affection.

When the kiss was finished, Albert came to his senses. He stood up quickly and announced that he had better be going. Matthew stood up by his side and apologized for what he had done. Albert dismissed it and said he had to be getting back home to prepare dinner. He thanked Matthew for a lovely afternoon and within seconds, was out the door.

Upon arriving home, Albert was a nervous wreck. He told himself to calm down, and tried to block the whole thing from his mind. Armand seemed in a better mood than he did in the morning. As if nothing had happened. Something that Albert hated. Armand had a way of getting Albert upset over things and then acting like it never happened, leaving Albert to deal with it and get back to normal routine. And that’s just what he did.

Albert fixed dinner while Armand worked on some music that would be used to accompany Albert’s Starina character, at the club, later that week.

“Always working on that show,” Albert muttered to himself. Of course, Armand didn’t hear.

During dinner, Albert asked Armand if he didn’t wonder where he’d been all morning and afternoon. Armand said he hadn’t noticed he was gone.

“I thought you were in the other room, upset over something or other,” Armand said, obliviously.

Albert sighed.

“Well, where were you?” Armand asked.

“Oh. You mean you care?” Albert said, bluntly.

“Not really, but I assume you do, or you wouldn’t have brought it up.” Armand continued shoving food into his mouth. “Why aren’t you eating?”

“I’m not very hungry,” Albert said, pushing the food around, on his plate, with his fork.

“You didn’t go to the bakery and buy more junk food, did you?” Armand asked.

“No. I didn’t buy anything,” Albert said. It wasn’t a lie. He wasn’t the one who did the buying.

For the rest of the meal, Albert sat in silence, thinking about what happened with Matthew, while Armand kept stuffing his face.

Several days had passed, and things with Armand weren’t getting any better. Albert couldn’t stop comparing him with Matthew. Here he sat making comparisons and being ignored by Armand, when he could be laughing and crying, for all the right reasons, in front of the television, with Matthew.

He decided to go out.

Albert walked all over the neighborhood and found himself on Matthew’s doorstep. Once again, frozen and about to turn away. The door opened and there stood Matthew.

“Albert! What a nice surprise!” he chimed.

“Hi. I was, uh-- I was out for a walk and thought I’d come over and um, apologize for walking out on you, so abruptly, the other day.”

Matthew smiled, sweetly. “No need to explain. I was out of line.” He paused. “I was actually just on my way down to the bakery. I was hoping to run into you there. I wanted to see you, again, but I know not to show up on your doorstep.”

They both laughed.

“Would you like to come in?” he offered, standing back from the doorway and extending his arm to the inside of the apartment.

“Um. Sure!” Albert entered, slightly nervous, but soon felt calm. He felt at ease around Matthew. Something he hadn’t felt in a long time. As if he was appreciated for all that he was, and not just tolerated.

Matthew poured some drinks and they sat on the sofa. Albert explained that things with Armand were still uneven, and then he apologized for going on about his personal problems. Matthew assured him that he didn’t mind, and that he made a living out of listening to other people’s relationship problems. He admitting that he liked helping people.

They continued talking, and even told some jokes, which caused Albert to sway with laughter and spill his drink on Matthew’s shirt.

“Oh! I’m sorry!” Albert said, sitting his glass down and looking for a napkin, or something to soak up the liquid.

“It’s okay, it’s just a little bit, and it’s an old shirt,” Matthew assured.

Albert was frantic about it. He stood up and ran over to the kitchen to retrieve a paper towel. “You’d better take that shirt off and get it into some water to soak, before the stain sets,” he said, making his way back to the sofa.

Matthew stood up and repeated that it was just a small spill, and that it was an old shirt. But Albert insisted that he let him put it in some water to soak, anyway. Matthew gave in and removed his shirt, as Albert dabbed up the small spot on the vinyl sofa.

“There we go,” Albert said, as he stood back up and came face to face with a shirtless Matthew. “My God! You certainly work out, don’t you?” he unconsciously remarked, looking over Matthew’s well-built upper body.

“I do a little workout at the gym, three times a week. Nothing major,” he replied.

“Well it shows,” Albert said, still looking Matthew over. He realized the awkwardness of his actions and looked away. He took the shirt from Matthew and went into the bathroom with it. He began filling the sink with water and called out to ask Matthew where he kept the detergent.

Matthew came around the corner and entered the oversized bathroom. He walked up beside Albert and stood behind him, looking at him in the mirror. He reached his hands around Albert. He slid his hands down Albert’s arms and said, softly, “You don’t have to do this.”

Albert ‘s attention was simply on the shirt, and he replied, “It’s no trouble. I just wanna get this stain out before it sets.”

Matthew took the shirt out of Albert’s hands, turned off the water and looked in the mirror, into his eyes. “You don’t have to do these things for me. That’s not why I asked you in.”

“I just--” Albert started.

“Albert. I don’t want you to do these kinds of things for me.” Matthew turned Albert around, to face him. “There are things I want you to do, but this isn’t one of them.” He tossed the shirt into the sink, out of the way.

Matthew took one of Armand’s hands and placed it on his bare chest. Albert looked down at where his hand was resting on Matthew’s chest. He said nothing, but he felt a lot. Matthew leaned closer to Albert, but stopped inches from his lips. He wanted to make sure that Albert had no objections, this time. Albert didn’t back away. Instead, he was the one who sealed the kiss. His other hand coming up to rest on Matthew’s side as they kissed more passionately with each passing second.

Matthew backed away a bit, asking if Albert was okay with what they were doing. Albert nodded and they continued kissing and exploring each other with their hands.

They were both aroused and ready for the next step. Albert started to kneel in front of Matthew, to pleasure him, but Matthew stopped him.

“Let me,” Matthew said. Albert wasn’t used to this. Armand had always been the receiver in this act, but he didn‘t mind the switch. In fact, he quite enjoyed it. But he gave back the favour. Not because he had to, but because he wanted to.

Matthew soon lead Albert to his bedroom, and to his large bed. He explained how lonely it was having such a large bed, and no one to share it with. But tonight, there would be someone there beside him.

In the morning, Albert awoke, slightly startled. He had forgotten all about Armand. He assumed that he was probably worried sick by now. Albert quietly got out of bed, careful not to awaken Matthew. They’d had a wonderful night together, and Matthew was still sound asleep.

Albert made his way to the kitchen and called Armand.

“Armand? It’s me. Don’t be worried. I’m all right. I--”

“Albert?! Where the fuck are you?! If you’re gonna stay out at all hours, at least you can leave me a meal so I don’t starve to death while you’re gone!”

Albert couldn’t believe his ears. Armand couldn’t care less where he was or what had happened. He thought about how he coulda been laying in a gutter somewhere, beaten, or worse, and Armand wouldn’t even notice, except for the fact that he had no one there to cook him his meals or to perform in his show.

Without saying another word, Albert hung up the phone, and began to sob.

Matthew heard him, and got up to see what was wrong. When he got to the kitchen and saw Albert crying by the phone, he knew what had happened.

“Albert,” he said, softly, putting his arms around Albert, who was wearing one of Matthew’s robes. “Albert, look at me.”

“No. I’m a mess!” Albert said, in between sobs.

“Albert, look at me,” Matthew said, more firmly.

Albert turned towards Matthew, but he didn’t look him in the eyes. He was too ashamed.

Matthew lifted Albert’s chin so that they were looking into each other’s eyes. The pain he saw in Albert’s face was enough to make him cry himself, but he stayed strong.

“Albert. You don’t need Armand. You need someone who’ll appreciate you. Like I do. And if it’s security you want, I can promise you that I’ll never leave you. And I’ll never hurt you. It breaks my heart to see you like this. I know you’ve been with Armand for a long time, and it’s hard, and scary, to leave someone you’ve been with for so long and risk starting over with someone new, but I love you, Albert, and I’ll do everything in my power to protect you from the kind of pain that you’re feeling right now.” Matthew took Albert’s hand and gave it a gentle squeeze. “And if you’re not ready, I’ll understand. And I’ll wait. As long as it takes. I’ll wait.”

Albert sniffled, and the sobs subsided. He attempted a smile, which looked angelic to Matthew.

“I love you, too,” Albert responded.

Matthew pulled Albert against him and gave him a comforting hug.

“You can get through this, Albert. I’ll help you get through it. If you want to.”

“I do,” Albert replied, squeezing Matthew just a little tighter.

For their one-month anniversary, Matthew took Albert to the bakery. The baker, with Matthew’s request, had baked a beautiful strawberry shortcake, personalized to the couple. The top of the cake read, “M & A - Forever Having Your Cake, And Eating It Too.” They spent the day watching movies and eating cake. They laughed and cried, together, but for all the good reasons.

The End

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Last Updated: 13 October 2002.
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Story Copyright © 2002, Lisa Inc.
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