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..::Catfight::..

..::Catfight::..
Scene: <*New York City. An elegant restaurant. Night. Enter Annie. Tall, slender, flowing raven hair. She wears a long green evening gown. She glides gracefully across the room to Nathan, sitting alone, who has had a bit too much wine.*>

Annie: "Hello, handsome."

<*Nathan looks around him*>

Annie: "Yes, you. Would you care to dance?" <*bats eyelashes provocatively*>

<*Before he can respond, an interloper pushes Annie out of the way.*>

Lisa: "Oh, my God!!! Do you know who you are?!!! You're NATHAN LANE!!! You're my biggest fan!!! Wait, I mean...Ahh!!! I LOVE you!!! I have this website dedicated to you, have you ever seen it? It's called 'Tinny and...' "

<*Annie shoves her aside.*>

Annie: "As I was saying... before we were so rudely interrupted."

<*Lisa, angry shoves Annie to the floor.*>

Lisa <*turns back to Nathan*>: Oh, my God!!! You're so great!!! Oh no!!! I don't have any paper! Here, sign my forehead.

<*Annie "accidentally" spills soup on Lisa.*>

Annie: "Back off! He's spoken for!"

Lisa: "Oh no you don't... He's MINE!" <*pulls Annie's hair*>

Annie: "I saw him first!" <*kicks Lisa's shin*>

Nathan: "You chicks need help...."

Lisa: "Bite me...." <*punches Annie*>

Annie: "Bitch!"

<*pounces on Lisa. Both fall to the floor. MAJOR squabble ensues*>

Nathan: Girl on girl action. Completely wasted on me.

<*Annie gets Lisa in a headlock*>

Annie: "I LOVE HIM MORE!"

Lisa: "I HAVE A WEBSITE!"

<*Lisa shoves Annie, who smashes into the desert tray*>

Nathan: Ten bucks on Elvira. She's scrawny, but she's quick.

<*Ten minutes later, after much bruising and blood-letting, Annie and Lisa realize that Nathan has left with the Maitre-de.*>

The End

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Last Updated: 15 November 2002.
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