The bell rang indicating lunch break. Chris followed his class mates to the cafeteria but turned the corner all of a sudden heading outside. He’d been doing this for a while now. Playing sports instead of eating. It wasn’t like he wasn’t hungry, not at all. There was something else that was holding him back from getting his food. It was the fact that he was in a program where kids who couldn’t afford meals got them for free. However he couldn’t say it. He couldn’t embarrass himself by saying ‘free meal’. Kids stared at him and he felt a charity case. He knew all too well how that felt, so he avoided it by not eating. Kids couldn’t stare or make fun of him. He filled his time with playing sports it kept his mind off of his hungry stomach.

“Kirkpatrick…” a voice said from behind him. Chris turned and recognized the guy standing in front of him.

“What do you want?” Chris sneered knowing John was there to pick on him.

“Wow friendly today” he smiled.

“I’m always friendly to you” Chris said sarcastically.

“What are you doing here? Don’t you have to eat?” John asked rhetorically since he already knew the answer and he was planning on rubbing it in.

‘Ah so that’s what he’s here for’ Chris thought.

“Oh!” John exclaimed smacking his forehead as if the answer finally came to him.

“Ooh no that’s right you can’t afford to eat” he snickered. Chris glared at him.

“Leave me alone” he said shortly in the calmest voice he had at that point. He felt his anger rising inside of him.

“Can’t your momma give you some lunch money?” again a rhetorical question. Chris tried to stay calm but with a baseball bat in one hand and a ball in the other the urge to throw either one at him was difficult to fight.

“Ooh my bad! Your mom is too poor to give you some money. Whose idea was it to have a baby at 16?!” he asked viciously.

‘Ok that’s it!’ Chris’ mind screamed.

“Maybe she should have waited till she wasn’t a child anymore before she had a baby of her own!”

Chris suddenly lost all the battles he was fighting against holding onto the items in his hands. Before he even thought about it he threw the ball at John with all the power he had in him. The anger giving him more strength to launch the baseball. It hit John on the nose and he screamed in pain, quickly protecting his bleeding nose with his hands.

“Mr. Kirkpatrick. Follow me” a voice said from behind and he recognized it immediately as his principal’s. He sighed while the baseball bat loosened in his grip. He turned facing the man while he instructed John to go to the nurse’s office right away.

“Shit” he mumbled while he followed him down the hallways to his office where he had been so many times before but this time he didn’t really care. He actually felt good about teaching that guy a lesson but he knew he was going to get in trouble for it no matter how much John had disserved it.

“Chris?” his mother asked when she heard the door slam shut. No answer.

“Chris get in here” she stated firmly. Seconds later Chris sullenly walked in and plumped down on the couch.

“Chris WHAT is going on?” Bev asked her son who winced at the tone in her voice.

“Nothing” he said ducking his head.

“Chris don’t lie to me. I got a call from the principal today…”

“Ugh” Chris interrupted her rubbing a hand over his face while he sat forward.

“You’re not eating and you’re beating someone up…” she trailed off giving her son a chance to pick up where she left off. But Chris didn’t say anything, he still had his hands in front of his face and refused to look at his mother.

“Christopher Alan Kirkpatrick, look at me and start talking now” Chris slowly looked up and met his mothers intent gaze.

“Why aren’t you eating?” she asked when he didn’t start talking. He shrugged at her question.

“Chris!” she warned.

“What?” he spat out.

“What is going on with you?” she asked gently. Something was obviously wrong and getting mad at him for his outburst didn’t seem like the best option right now.

“Why did you injure John?”

“Because he was bugging me” he said hiding the real reason. Well it wasn’t a complete lie, part of it was true.

“Chris I’m not buying that. I’ve been talking to you about violence since I don’t know how long and I don’t believe you’d do something like that without a reason so spill it”

“Mom leave me alone” he whined while moving to stand up.

“Sit” she ordered and he dropped back on the couch immediately sighing in the process.

“You’re not going anywhere before you tell me what’s going on so you better say it now” he still didn’t respond.

“What did he say to you to tick you off?” he shifted uncomfortably. After several moments Chris finally spoke.

“He…um… he said… stuff…mom! Just punish me and get it over with ok?” he said desperately trying to get out of saying what the reason was of him attacking John. His mother sighed. He obviously didn’t want to say it. That could only mean two things. One: he did something that was even worse that they didn’t know off yet. Or two: John said something bad about her or his sisters.

“Chris it doesn’t work that way and you know that. I can help you if you’d just tell me”

“You can’t help me with this”

“You won’t know that till you tell me”

“Fine!” he said finally giving in. He didn’t want to hurt his mom with what John had said to him but she was persistent.

“John came bugging me about the free meals. I don’t want to get those! Everybody is staring at me when I say free meal. I just couldn’t do that so I decided to go outside and play baseball. John figured it out and rubbed my nose in it”

“But why did you throw the ball at him?” Bev asked, understanding what this was all about. Her son was embarrassed to get a free meal. It was not that he didn’t want to eat he just didn’t want everyone to stare at him when he ordered a free meal. It broke her heart.

“He said stuff… bad stuff about you. It got to me and before I knew it the ball hit him in the face”

“I see. Well…”

“I know it’s not good but I just couldn’t control myself. I had to hurt him. He hurt me. I know its no excuse…” he said gesturing wildly in his explanation. “so punish me, I disserve it” he fell back against the couch cushions.

“Sweetie listen” she started scooting closer to her son.

“I’m glad you see what you did wrong and I understand why you did it but violence is never the solution. No matter how angry you get you understand that don’t you” Chris nodded.

“Alright so you’re expelled for 2 days?” he nodded again.

“You’re grounded for the rest of the week, that includes the weekend” he sighed but accepted. He knew he’d done something wrong. He didn’t care he got punished for throwing the ball at John, he’d disserved it. It was worth the punishment he believed but he’d be careful in the future about loosing his patience. John knew exactly what to say to him to make him angry and since that was exactly what John’s intentions where he won even though he got hurt in the process.

“I’m sorry I can’t give you anymore. I wish I could buy you everything…” his mother apologized but he didn’t want to hear it.

“It’s ok mom” he cut her off not wanting her to be hurt by this situation knowing that she would be nevertheless.

“I’d be a spoiled brat” he joked.

“I’m serious Chris. I’m sorry”

“It’s ok mom. I love you”

“I love you too” she said while hugging her son close.

“You can’t buy love and I’ve got plenty of that so who needs the money?”

“Where did you get this wisdom?” she asked chuckling under her breath.

“Not from you” he joked laughing, his mother laughed with him.

“Smarty pants” she accused, he smiled back up at her.

“Go do your homework, spent your time well” she said once they were done hugging.

“K” he agreed casually giving her a kiss on the cheek before he headed for his room. Bev sighed watching him go. She blamed herself and she hoped he’d be ok.

***Three days later***

“Can I sit with you?” a girl he hadn’t seen before asked. Chris looked up from his book and said,

“Sure” the girl smiled and sat down with her meal. Chris focused on his book again since he was banned from the sports field after the incident earlier that week. The principal had said he had to spend his lunchtime in the cafeteria so he did but he still didn’t eat.

“Chris you ate already?” Mr. Metters, the principal, asked him. Chris sighed and said,

“No”

“Then go get it, move it” the man ordered.

“Yes, sir” he responded but made no move to actually comply with the order. The man walked away but kept an eye on him.

“What was that all about?” the girl asked.

“Nothing” he said shortly but not unfriendly.

“You got anorexia or something? I thought only girls had that” she asked smiling a little. He laughed at her attempt to cheer him up,

“No I don’t. I just don’t feel like getting food”

“Why not?” Chris didn’t know what it was but he wanted to tell her, she seemed so sweet and interested.

“Because… um well I have to get a … free meal” he stuttered but he wanted to finish his sentence. She was staring at him with a gleam of compassion in her eyes and when he finished his sentence she jumped up and said,

“I’ll get it” She was already gone before he had a chance to say that you can’t just get a free meal. You had to identify yourself. However several minutes later she came back with a tray of food for him.

“Here you go” she said while she pushed the tray in front of him.

“Thanks” he said grateful but with a hint of embarrassment in his voice.

“I’m Amber by the way” she introduced herself while she sat back down.

“Chris” he said with a smile. They ate in silence for a while, occasionally looking up at each other and smiling brightly.

‘This girl was definitely something else’ his thoughts got interrupted by Amber,

“You know they’re just jealous they don’t get a free meal” she smiled at him and Chris laughed.

“Yeah I bet they are” he said before focusing on his food once again.

“Thanks” he paused a little before he continued.

“You know someday I’m going to be rich and I won’t have to be a charity case and I’ll remember you. When that happens I’ll do anything to prevent kids to go through this. Anything” he said determined.

“That’s a great goal, don’t ever give it up. I have a feeling you’ll succeed”….