“So what do you do?” Josh asked as he handed Justin a glass of wine.

They were at Josh’s place after going out to dinner. Justin had called Josh the next day so they could meet up. Now Friday, here they were. They’d talked about all sorts of things to get to know each other, from movies to music and from the weather to politics. But Justin’s job hadn’t come up and Josh was curious.

Justin took a swallow of his wine, staring into his glass as he answered. “I’m a model”

“Really?” Josh asked him quite surprised, although… he could be, he was beautiful.

Justin sighed. “Yeah”

“You don’t look happy about it” he observed. “Don’t you like it?”

“Mwah it’s alright” Justin shrugged although it wasn’t alright, it wasn’t fun at all.

“Just alright?” the twenty-five year old frowned.

“I can imagine it to be wonderful, travelling all over the world, getting free clothes, making lots of money”

“People constantly tugging at you, their hands in private places, looking at you like you’re an oversized doll” Justin supplied.

“Oh yes it’s wonderful” he said sarcastically. Josh’s mouth dropped open in shock. He shook his head.

“W…what?” he asked a little dumbfounded. Justin sighed.

“Travelling, getting free clothes, making lots of money… it’s just not all there is to being a model. It’s far from all and…. I don’t like it” Justin admitted, dropping his head. Josh continued to frown at him.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to throw this all on you, I’ll just leave” Justin apologized, setting his glass aside, sighing as he got up, a sad gleam in his eyes. It took a moment for Josh to realize what Justin had said.

“No wait” he stopped him.

“Don’t leave” he said, pulling him back on the couch. Justin let him, he sighed sadly as he fell back on the couch.

“Hey” Josh addressed him compassionately, lifting Justin’s chin with his finger and Justin lost it, he started talking with one look from Josh, one compassionate look and he spilled his story.

“I don’t have a lot of people I can talk to about this. All my so called friends are models and they are fine with the job. They don’t mind being touched they just take it in order to get the money. They love getting the free clothes and travelling everywhere, they love getting all the attention but… I don’t like it anymore. I used to. Till I saw how shallow it all is, they don’t care about you or what you can do, it’s about your face, your body and that’s it. If it gets ugly they’ll toss you out without one bit of regret. It’s a hard business and it’s just not for me” he rambled on, not even aware that he was doing it.

“Then just quit” Josh suggested.

Justin shook his head sadly. “I can’t”

“Why not?” Josh asked gently. Justin’s eyes welled with tears.

“Because there’s nothing else that I can do” he told him before his tears got the best of him and he gave into the sobs. He dropped his head in his hands.

Josh shifted closer and put his arm around Justin’s shoulder, tugging at him a little to pull him into a hug. Justin slowly fell sideways into Josh’s arms who immediately tried to soothe him by rubbing his back and making soft humming noises.

“It’s ok” he whispered.

“It’s alright”

“I’m sorry” Justin apologized as he pulled back from Josh’s embrace, he stayed close to him however, their knees touching.

“I don’t know what got over me” he said shamefully, not sure why he’d shared his concerns with a man he hardly knew. But despite the fact that he hardly knew him there was something familiar about him at the same time. Something he trusted, something that made him feel safe. Actually the thing that surprised him the most was how easy it had been to tell him.

“It’s alright Justin, you don’t have to apologize” Josh reassured him. Justin ducked his head shamefully.

“Why do you think there’s nothing else you can do?” Josh asked him softly.

Justin shrugged. “I’m not smart enough for it” he stated as if it were a proven fact.

“How do you know that?”

“I’m a model doesn’t that say enough?”

Josh shook his head. “No it doesn’t”

Justin shrugged again, he thought it did.

“People say I have a pretty face, they tell me to worry about making sure it stays that way but I shouldn’t bother worrying about the important things” he recalled what he’d overheard his agent say.

“And you believe that?” Josh asked surprised.

“I guess, I mean I would have been able to get a real job instead of sitting around all day and getting my picture taken. It’s not rocket science you know”

“Maybe not but it can’t be easy either” Josh commented, not sure what to say to make him feel better. Justin sighed, slumping a little.

“Maybe I should go” Justin said after a silence between them, thinking Josh was done with him. He should go.

“I’m sorry about tonight, I’ll understand if you like… want to leave it at this” Justin mumbled as he got up to go home. It hadn’t been the first date he’d had in mind. Far from it actually. He’d planned to have a nice dinner and just talk for a little while at Josh’s place, he hadn’t planned a pity party and he was embarrassed it had turned out to be one, even worse he’d made it one.

“No” Josh denied as he got up as well. Justin turned to him surprised.

“I don’t want to leave it at this Justin” Josh informed him as he stepped up to him, face to face.

“What? After I…?”

“Yes” Josh said simply, cutting him off. “I said it was fine Justin and I meant it”

“But I…” Justin started once again. Josh silenced him quickly with a sweet kiss.

“I enjoyed the evening. I hope we can do it again soon” Josh said once he pulled back, whispering the words to the insecure young man. Justin finally opened his eyes, surprised by the kiss and the words that followed but he couldn’t help but smile.

“Me too” he whispered back, relieved Josh still wanted to see him. He liked him.

“Good” Josh said satisfied, still softly before leaning in for another kiss. This time Justin kissed him back, participating, having been more prepared for it.

“Thank you” Justin said once they pulled back.

Josh just smiled. “You’re welcome, call me alright?”

“I will” Justin reassured him. “Definitely”