Josh smiled as Justin read to him. He’d had the book for a week and a half now and to Josh it seemed like he’d been reading non stop. Although the book was damn heavy Justin didn’t care, he dragged it with him every time he came to see Josh.

Justin was so excited about everything that he read that he often read to Josh and more than half of the sentences that left Justin’s mouth since he got the book started with “Did you know…”. Josh smiled everytime and just let him talk, it proved to him that Justin was far from stupid like he’d made himself believe. Justin remembered so much of the things he read and Josh wondered if Justin was oblivious to the fact that he was remembering all of those things.

When Josh had visited him the day after he got the book he’d almost fallen over a stack of books in the middle of the living room. It were books about history as well with various subjects. Justin had explained to him that he’d put them away and had actually forgotten about them. He’d remembered the books however when Josh had given him the encyclopedia. His lover was so enthusiastic about it and Josh could only smile, happy his plan had worked. Maybe the second part of his plan would work as well.

“Baby” Josh addressed his boyfriend.

“Hmm?” Justin acknowledged as he let the heavy book drop to his lap, turning his head around so he could look at Josh.

“Why don’t you go to college?” he suggested.

Justin shook his head sadly, turning away from Josh as he mumbled, “I’m not smart enough”

“You are smart enough Justin” Josh told him firmly as he forced Justin to meet his eyes.

“I mean you’ve been reading for more than a week straight, you enjoy it why shouldn’t you try it?” Josh elaborated. Justin shrugged.

“That I enjoy reading it doesn’t mean I can do it” he argued a little.

Josh was right he had been reading for over a week but he remembered why he’d put away the books he had about history, he’d mentioned his passion to some people he worked with. His agent was one of them and just like the others he’d told they’d looked at him as if he were crazy. How could a model be interested in history? When he told them he’d have liked to study history they laughed.

Every single one of them.

The look in their eyes told him everything he needed to know, he knew what they were thinking; don’t bother pretty boy, you won’t make it. It had hurt him deeply and he’d shoved the books in the far back of his bookcase, not wanting to see them and remind him of something he really wanted but would never be able to do because he simply wasn’t smart enough to pull it off. He hadn’t thought about that when Josh had given him the book because Josh believed in him. Josh never made him feel stupid, Josh gave him the feeling that he could do it and so he’d started reading but to believe him when he said he could go to college…

“I know you can do it” Josh stated simply.

Justin looked up at him, seeing nothing but sincerity; Josh was certain.

Justin turned his head back towards the book in his lap and continued reading without another word and Josh let him, giving him the time to think it over, hoping he would finally start believing in himself the way Josh believed in him.

Justin did think about it. He wanted to go to college, he would love to study history. But he wasn’t sure if he could do it, he wasn’t sure if he was smart enough to go to college, to study history but Josh kept telling him that he was and that even if he didn’t believe him he should at least try, he would regret it for the rest of his life if he didn’t.

He knew Josh had regretted not studying architecture in the first place. Josh had been lucky to have the opportunity to do it as yet but you never knew if you would get the opportunity and so Josh pushed Justin to do it, try at least.

Justin still wasn’t sure, money was no longer an issue, he’d made enough money with his modelling jobs but he was afraid he couldn’t do it. He was afraid he would fail. He was afraid that all the people who kept telling him that he couldn’t do it, that he was too stupid to go to college, were right. And that when college wouldn’t work out he would have to come crawling back, begging them to take him back because it was the only thing he could do to make a living...