“Josh?”

“About what happened yesterday… you know the kiss” Justin said hurriedly, continuing in one breath. “I hope it wasn’t too soon. I really don’t want to take advantage of you. If you’re not ready I swear I won’t force you”

Josh bit his lip, not saying anything. Justin took a step towards him.

“All you have to do is tell me you’re not ready and we’ll wait… if you want to that is” Justin assured, adding the last bit to his sentence suddenly insecure. Josh looked up.

“Tell me it’s true”

“What is?” Justin asked confused.

“Please tell me it’s true what I’ve heard. Please tell me Brad didn’t just make it up. Please tell me…” Josh took a shaky breath.

“Tell you what?” Justin asked again, almost desperately. Josh stared directly into Justin’s blue eyes.

“Please tell me you’re gay” Justin was taken aback; not providing an answer right away.

“Please Justin, please tell me it wasn’t a joke. I can’t take… this. Please tell me it wasn’t a joke!” he demanded suddenly after the pleading. Justin shook himself out of his thoughts, grasping Josh’s upper arms lightly.

“Shh Josh, no…”

Josh’s heart raced; no it wasn’t a joke or no I’m not gay?

“No it wasn’t a joke. I swear it’s not a joke. Josh, I’m gay” Josh again bit his lip, kicking at the floor.

“Are you?” Justin asked, insecure suddenly. Josh slowly met his eyes, a small smile tugging at his lips as he nodded.

“Yes” Josh had never told anyone this before but Justin seemed different. Justin was different. He’d went to all the trouble of getting him free, he’d been there for him every second, taking care of him and Justin was Lance’s friend. Justin was a good guy, Josh knew that much. Justin sighed relieved, before cupping Josh’s face in his hands.

“I’ve been such a fool. You were here all along… right in front of me. So beautiful… but I’ve never really looked at you, really seen how beautiful you truly are” Justin spoke directly to Josh, looking into his eyes the whole time till Josh finally blushed and ducked his head.

“You really are Josh… it’s not a joke” he said honestly, putting a finger under Josh’s chin to make him meet his eyes once again. If he doubted the words Justin knew he would believe his eyes, he knew they held the message he probably couldn’t express in words.

“I like you Josh. I want to be with you… if you’ll have me” Justin stated before his insecurity seeped through again. He’d never been this straightforward before but he was acting on impulse and it felt right. However he didn’t know if he’d ever been more insecure in his life. Probably not. Josh let out a laugh and Justin’s happy features ceased a bit.

“You’re asking me if I’ll have you?” Josh asked to make sure. Justin swallowed before he nodded.

“Justin are you kiddin’ me?” Josh wrapped his arms around Justin’s waist.

“Do you know how many times I watched you? Do you know how many times I wished I could be like you? I admired you so much… everyone knew you were gay, they all heard the rumors but no one dared to harass you with it. No one. I used to wish I was like you, I wouldn’t have survived a day if they knew I was gay… I always thought you were so beautiful… but I also knew…” he dropped his head.

“You would never want to be with me”

“Josh you are so wrong. I’m the lucky one here” Justin told him. Josh slowly peeked up, watching as Justin’s lips moved towards him in slow motion. Finally he felt the soft, sweet lips on his own and joined Justin in the kiss.

No matter what Justin said; Josh knew he was the lucky one.

“I’m sorry I was mean to you” Justin said, later that day. The story Josh had revealed the day before and the guilt he felt still far from erased. What is this? Bloody revelation day? Justin wondered as they once again talked. It seemed it was all they’d been doing since Josh came here… but wasn’t that the whole point of him being here? He shook the thoughts away as Josh’s voice sounded.

“When?” Josh asked confused, turning his head towards Justin.

“When not?” Justin snorted.

Justin sighed. “I’m really sorry”

Josh shook his head. “You have nothing to be sorry about Justin. You didn’t know and I didn’t really do anything for you to be nice to me. I had to keep people at a distance. I couldn’t have them getting close”

Justin nodded although he had no idea why.

“I remember one time you helped me. It was the first month I was at school; stolen the first wallet and the boy knew I did it. I was terrified he would do something to me and he would have if you hadn’t come” Justin thought back.

“You mean in the bathroom?” he asked astonished when the memory flooded back in. Josh nodded sadly.

“You helped me and I growled at you to leave me alone”

Justin nodded. “I remember that”

“You didn’t give up though. Someone knocked into me; my books flew through the air, you helped me pick them up. My locker was glued shut; no one wanted to help me not even the teachers but you did” Justin remembered that yes.

“I do remember that Justin. I do and I never said thank you…. thank you” Justin smiled a little.

“I just couldn’t thank you because if I had we would have become friends…”

“What would be so bad about that?” Justin couldn’t help but ask.

“I couldn’t have anyone getting too close or they would find out… find out what Henry did to me… what Henry made me do…” Josh revealed sadly, dropping his head.

“I’m sorry I didn’t persist” Josh shook his head.

“It’s not your fault… you couldn’t have done anything anyway” Josh reassured.

“You can’t fight Henry” he stated.

“Believe me I’ve tried but you’ll never win”